Post # 1
Does your husband/partner go to prenatal appointments with you?
Mine went to just the 20-week ultrasound with me during my first pregnancy. This time, 21 weeks into pregnancy #2, he’s not gone to any. Granted, we have a toddler to take care of (he’s a stay-at-home dad), and I’m certainly a big girl and can take care of myself at my appointments, but I do get sad when I see all those other women there with their partners. I’ve told him I’d like him to try to come to at least one or two, and he says he understands but it’s difficult.
So what are your experiences? Does he go with you?
Post # 2
Mine went to our first appt to check for a viable pregnancy and then the 13 week NT scan. Other than that I told him he doesn’t need to go to the monthly regular visits. He will probably attend our 20 week anatomy scan. This is our first baby so he’s eager. 🙂
Post # 3
Only for the big ones – the first one at eight weeks and then the 20 week anatomy scan. He didn’t come to the 12 week nuchal translucency scan or my sixteen week appointment. It’s pretty boring to just watch me pee in a cup and get weighed. 🙂
Post # 4
Mine went to one–the full-body scan. All the others I was there by myself. My husband worked and I was a student, so my schedule was much more flexible than yours, but having been a SAHM for a time, I do understand why he might find it “difficult” in the sense that with certain personalities (both the kid and the parent), it sometimes is a bigger deal than people realize to have an appointment conflict with say, a toddler’s naptime. It’s not the end of the world, but it does require thinking things like, “Crap, I’m going to have to watch a crabby toddler during the appointment and then I’m going to have to deal with an overtired toddler all afternoon and she’ll cry the entire time on the way home and then be a hot mess until bedtime, and this is for an appointment that’s not absolutely necessary.” THta’s just to suggest where he might be coming from.
If you want him to go to a few more, then you might give him a few dates as far in advance as you can and explicitly ask him to be there. It might also help to ask for some input insofar as which days and which times would be best for him to join you.
Post # 5
My DH went to all but 2 of my appointments. It was comforting for me.
Post # 6
For both my pregnancies my husband would clear his schedule so he could be there for every appointment. It was important to me.
Post # 7
stillme: He comes to every one that he can attend (which is most of them since he gets off of work early afternoon- so it all depends when I schedule them)- including my weekly injections. If our six year old isn’t at school, he comes to the appointments, too. He’s very well behaved. The three of us attended our first two ultrasounds- the third one DS was at school for, but my husband came.
I like it when my husband comes- definitely comforting for me.
Post # 8
my husband came to a fair few in the beginning especially because at week 19 we had a big drama with the baby’s size so there were a lot of additional appointments/tests etc. He hasn’t been coming to the last probably 10? And I’m 100% fine with it. I find them pretty boring especially in the last 4-5 weeks where we did weekly appts.
Post # 9
I’m lucky, my husband is self employed (and works nights) so he has been able to go to every one… But it is our first child, I feel like it would be different if we had a kid already. Also, our birth center is an hour away so we’ve just made an afternoon of each visit.
Post # 10
My husband went to all of them up until I had to see the doc every 2 wks, so stopped late 3rd trimester because all the dr did was weigh me and take my blood pressure
Post # 11
My husband came to as many as he could. He missed both ultrasounds and three months worth of appointments, but that was because he was deployed with the military. It was our first though and I think for our second he probably won’t come as much, unless there was some sort of issue.
Post # 12
stillme: Mine went with me to all my appointments when I was pregnant with our first (and only) child… I think if I became pregnant again, I would love for him to stay home with our toddler so I could have peace and quiet at the appointments before the new baby arrived :))
Post # 13
My husband went to the 20 week anatomy appointment, and then when they needed to schedule another ultrasound at 24 weeks (to recheck for a potential DS soft marker) he went to that one too. Other than that he does not come to the appointments with me. Honestly I feel more comfortable talking to the doctor about bodily things when he isn’t in the room, so it’s fine with me.
Post # 14
Thanks for all your responses so far. It sounds like most husbands try to go to at least some appointments. I think I’m just feeling low because we’re having other problems and I’m just hyper focusing on this one issue.
My hospital (where all the appts are) is less than a mile from our place, and I’m basically a stay-at-home parent, too (I work from home 100% on my own schedule, so I do a lot of childcare), so I guess I just wish he’d make the effort. It’s not that I need him there, really, I just wish he …I don’t know, showed that he cared more?
Post # 15
I guess the real question truly why he can’t come with you? I worked in a medical office for pregnant ladies, people brought their kids with them all the time…