Post # 1
My sister just had her first baby, aka my and DH’s first little nephew! I’m all SQUEEEE about the whole situation but DH has little to no interest in the baby. In fact, when he went over to meet him for the first time, he hardly looked at the kid and didn’t hold him. He seemed really uncomfortable in the whole situation.
Is this normal male behavior? It makes me a bit worried that he’s never going to want to have kids or never going to like kids. I mean, I’m not ready for kids yet, but I still couldn’t wait to meet my nephew, hold him, buy him presents, and generally obsess on him.
Just looking for some re-assurance!
Post # 3
my husband has ZERO interest in other people’s kids, but he really wants to have his own. his sister just had a baby and i have way more interest in her than he does!
Post # 4
@cbgg: I know a lot of guys who aren’t interested in other people’s kids. That is, until they have their own. Obviously this isn’t the case with every guy, but a lot of men, once they have their own babies they LOVE all children!
DH is in the minority I guess. Little kids LOVE him and he loves them. It’s wonderful seeing him interact with little ones. 🙂
Post # 5
Yes. This is normal. I think most men are afraid of babies. My FI is terrified of holding people’s babies because he thinks he’s going to do something wrong and hurt them.
Post # 6
My FI shocked me the other day… his friend just had his first baby and he came up to me all excited with his phone. He was like “Look at this baby! He’s so cute! I want to hold him!”. I was like, OH GOD, he has baby fever!!!
To be fair, he does have a nephew who he is great with and loves, so it may just be because he is around kids a lot.
Post # 7
I felt the same way about babies for a long time. I was the youngest and didnt grow up around kids, and I am really self concious so I didnt want to make the traditional silly baby faces/noises, etc. I just felt lost so I ignored other people’s babies. Plus, there is the terror of thinking you are going to break/drop/smash the baby or that it will burst into tears as soon as you touch it (never underestimate how litle other people know about kids!) And I didnt want to be asked to babysit as I knew that woudnt go well.
Its possible your husband was also not showing too much interest as he is not ready for babies right now, and doesnt want to encoruage you and any possible baby fever!
Post # 8
My FI is the same. He won’t hold babies, or anything. The only thing he says about them are negatives usually about their blank stares or if he thinks they are goofy or ugly looking.
It’s funny though because he’s super excited about our baby thats coming.
Post # 9
Yup I think it’s pretty normal. My FI doesn’t care about anyone’s babies. I have never seen a man get overly excited about a baby :/
Post # 10
My DH is interested for about 30 seconds.
I think it’s just a comfort level thing. He doesn’t want to look incompetent in front of anyone!
Post # 11
@cbgg: My husband has zero interest in other people’s babies, and I have -10 interest. :/
Post # 12
FI loves other people’s babies… I don’t really care for them. I will hold them, help them out if they did a diaper changed, and go “aw” but for a VERY limited amount of time.
If I wasn’t a teacher, who literally can’t stop talking a about how wonderful my kids are, you would think I didn’t like kids.
Babies make me uncomfortable. I think I might do something wrong and freak out. Then the baby become a hot potato.
If I could pop out a 12 year old I would do it.
Post # 13
@cbgg: My FI loves babies. I on the other hand am like your husband. Children make me uncomfortable and I feel that it is completely normal for me. Not everyone has to love babies. They aren’t for everyone!
Post # 14
@cbgg: he likes them is me who doesn’t care for them. .. something about the aww let’s stop and talk about baby for over an hour. …I want my own but others I don’t care for. ..I worked in a daycare and live kids just not when mom’s parade then around. ..I hope you understand what I’m saying. …
Post # 15
My DH is the same way. He says babies are boring. He’s great with older kids. I normally end up putting babies in his arms just to watch him squirm for the fun of it. His nephew was about 4 months old and I held him for hours and then forced my DH to hold him and the kid started wailing. DH was freaking out, “Oh God what did I do? Make him stop make him STOP!”
I’m a terrible wife.
Post # 16
Most men aren’t interested in babies until they have their own. Often they feel out of their depth, think “I don’t know how to hold a baby, what if I drop it, it’s very loud, it looks funny [as newborns tend to do], god I hope they don’t want me to change a nappy” etc etc.
But with their own babies they learn, come into their own and love them dearly. Then as they get older then tend to like to spend time with other babies, especially if their own child is out of the baby stage.
All of that being said – have you talked about kids before? Has he said that he wants kids? If you haven’t had this convo, you need to have it NOW. What is he’s never, ever wanted kids and assumed the same thing of you?