Post # 1
I am at a crossroads… My husband is of the “never worn rings” camp and has a job where he wears gloves (on and off all day) and works out with his friends on his lunch so although he has a nice James Avery wedding band (its a little big depending on how warm/cold his hands are) he doesn’t wear it….. like EVER!
Its special – its got “1 Corinthians 13” (the reading at our wedding) ingraved inside and I bought it for him out of love and honor of our marriage.
Unless I specifically request he wear it (like on our anniversary), he doesn’t think about it and keeps it on the desk in our room.
This is actually kinda starting to bug me… I’ve spoken to him about it and I really want him to wear it because we ARE MARRIED and its a symbol of our love and commitment!
I have no quams about his faithfulness, I just want my husband to have a ring on.
My dad works with his hands and wears a tungsten ring…
DH’s dad works with his hands and wears a gold ring…
LOTS of married men we know wear rings!
So why does my guy feel like its okay he doesn’t?
We’ve spoken about it before and when he says “I have never worn rings. I just don’t like them.” I respond with “You have never been MARRIED so you had no reason to!” to which he says “How about a wedding watch? You can engrave it with our wedding date and it will be on my left wrist?” to which I responded with “dafuq?!”
I’d just like to know how many bee husbands wear their wedding ring and how many don’t… and if there are any alternatives you’ve found that make sense.
Post # 3
I chose the wrong thing.
Mine takes his ring off to work out and in general is not a big fan of jewelry. He wears it all the time as a symbol of his love and marriage. He goes into panic mode if I move it and he can’t find it to put it on.
Post # 4
He wears it to work but then it comes off immediately when he gets home. He usually forgets to put it back on when we go out and I don’t care.
Wearing a ring with gloves is very annoying. I wore gloves at my previous job and actually lost a band (from my right hand) because it just came off with the glove.
I think the wedding watch is a fantastic idea. Why don’t you like it?
Post # 5
@KimmySumShuga: He used to wear it all the time but after a very close call with the blade of a table saw while working, he started not wearing it to work. He pretty much never wears it now, unless we’re on vacation or something.
DH’s father is in the trades and doesn’t wear one and my brother is a firefighter and also does not wear one. Come to think of it most men in my family don’t wear wedding rings. It has no bearing on their love and commitment.
Post # 6
@CurlyCue: See I wouldn’t mind that at all! Take it off when you’re lifting weights or at work but put it on when we’re together in our personal life! I’d love for DH to panic if he couldn’t find it – He would probably do a happy dance! lol
@MrsBeck: At least he wears it in public, right? I wouldn’t mind that… I understand not wearing it in gloves but to just never wear it really bums me out.
The watch he wants is about $5k new… I guess I’m not that opposed to it but I don’t think he’d wear it everyday and to work and etc because it would be such a nice watch! I’m shopping them on eBay and etc and they’re about $2500 but I just can’t see where I would engrave it to adequetly express that this is a symbol of our marriage. lol
Post # 7
@MrsWishyWashy: All of that makes perfect sense! If my DH was in any of those trades or delt with any of those scenarios, I’d totally understand but… he isnt!
I know it doesn’t effect love or commitment… I just like the symbol…
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2010 - parent's backyard
I never got this. I know lots of guys who don’t wear wedding bands and it’s no big deal. if we are going to go so bezerk over what kind of ring we get to have, shouldn’t he get a say for himself, including letting him not wear one if he so chooses?
Post # 9
@KimmySumShuga: He wears it and only takes it off to work out. It’s funny, I thought I would care and want him to wear it but I just don’t care.
His dad was a devoted husband and he never wore a ring, so I put it in context with that.
I’m not sure if he loves it or just tolerates it so I didn’t vote, I think he likes it ok but doesn’t love it. He also wears an engagement watch. Actually, I care more that he wears the watch… It cost a mint and he picked it out.
Post # 10
My DH works in the medical field & has to put on/take off gloves all day long too. He wears his ring every single day, he loves it just as much as I love mine.
Post # 11
@KimmySumShuga: My husband was super excited to wear his wedding ring when we got married. He has never worn rings/jewelry before– and he knew it would take some getting used to. He works with his hands– sometimes with gloves, sometimes without– but will ALWAYS wear his ring– by his own choice.
He sleeps in it, showers it in– the only time I’ve seen him take it off is when he is exfoliating his hands.
Some people just don’t like jewelry. I used to wear a ring or 2 on each hand– and my life is just so different now– that I just don’t to anymore.I was NAKED without them a few years ago.
I do alway wear my wedding set (sleep/shower/all the time)– but nothing else on my fingers. Wearing a bunch of rings would almost make me claustrophobic at this point LOL, although I will wear my RHR for special occasions.
I totally understand that your husband not wearing his ring would be a bummer- I know I’d be bummed, too. But from a logical standpoint, I don’t know you can force someone to wear something they just aren’t comfortabe wearing.
Is it possible he is afraid he will ruin it/scratch it?
My husband’s ring still looks great– but since he works with his hands, it’s inevitable going to get scratches, etc….but we are totally ok with that– it’s meant to be worn!!
Or, while I totally love the James Allen ring– is it just too wide for you husband? That’s part of why I don’t wear rings anymore– many of the ones I used to wear were wider, and that’s what I no longer like.
My husbands is 3mm- we specifically thought about the width of his ring very carefully before we chose the one. Maybe try getting him something skinner and see if he can wear that?
Here is my husbands and he loves it!
Post # 12
@nerdybird: I see your point… but isn’t marriage about change and compromise? lol
@Fizzy8: I see your point about the engagement watch – I bought him an armani watch for his groom’s gift but he didn’t love it and picked out a different one… to the tune of $5k! I was like uhhhhh idk about that babe (we’re saving for a house). I could get one for about $2.5K on eBay but its still a lot of moolah when we’re saving… Does he take it off when he works out too? I could see my DH never wearing that as well because he’d consider it “too nice” to sport every day… At least its good to hear someone else has a watch associated with commitment. lol
@MrsWilson2012: Precisely! Thank you for your input!
Post # 13
He actually loves the ring, which surprised me since he’s not really a jewelry guy. He always wears it. He has an office job though, so he doesn’t need to take it off anyways.
That said, my dad has never worn a ring. My brother does off and on. A lot of men in my family don’t wear rings. It’s fine. It’s not like their love or commitment wanes because of it.
Post # 14
I read that as, “Wearing a ring with gloves is very annoying. I wore gloves at my previous job and actually lost a hand (from my right hand) because it just came off with the glove.”
Post # 15
@KimmySumShuga: he wears it to work- most days but he doesn’t usually wear it outside of that. So no, I don’t think he really wears it in public.
You said something about compromise and I think the watch would be a good compromise. I would ask if he would wear it everyday and go from there. Or else ask that he wear his ring when he leaves the house outside of going to work. Even if that means you need to remind him- perhaps he is just forgetful.
Post # 16
- Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN
@KimmySumShuga: My FI will not be able to wear his while working but he plans to wear it on a necklace then and will wear it on his finger when he is not working.
ETA: He will have a tattooed ring on that finger