(Closed) Does your other half HELP around the house, HELP with kids etc… Ugh.

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 4
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@mrsbruff2b:  

I agree with you. Whenever I hear a man say he has to babysit his own kids, I laugh. It’s not babysitting when it’s your kids!

Post # 5
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i know what you mean.  when it’s your kids, it’s not babysitting.  it’s called PARENTING.

 

Post # 6
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I love this!!

Post # 7
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Haha. I totally agree, but am also extremely curious about what instigated this little rant 🙂

Post # 8
Member
3847 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

Hooray!  I agree 100%.  My friends marvel at the fact that my husband is not an “incompetant fool”.  I don’t get it, making sure a man has basic life skills was one of the first things on my checklist of potential boyfriend/husband material.

Post # 10
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I remember my father being in shock and awe when he saw my husband changing a diaper. My mother was like “Oh yeah, your dad never changed diapers!”

Mom, that’s not funny, it’s terrible!

(Side note, I was trying to get out of the house for a girl’s night a few years ago and my friend said “Just ask your husband to babysit.” We joked about it for awhile, any time he’d stay home with our daughter I’d tell him there was money on the kitchen table for pizza and don’t call your friends on the phone.)
 

Post # 11
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

*stands up and applauds* 

Post # 12
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@mrsbruff2b:  Oh my God. I want to have your children.

Post # 13
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@mrsbruff2b:  Lol so true! My SO currently does the majority of the house work because he is currently unemployed and i am working

Post # 14
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Preach it, sista!

 

(Although I also think there are quite a few mommies out there who perpetuate these issues–I know a couple who are so picky and draconian insofar as childcare and homekeeping that whatever the husband does is automatically wrong and therefore you get the whole infantalizing “Isn’t my husband’s attempt to help soooo cute?”)

Post # 15
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I totally agree with this. I choose to do most of the housework because I know that I have a higher attention to detail than my husband and I like things to look and be cleaned a certain way. When I want my husband to step in, I ask him and he does. When we first moved in together he said, “It’s OUR mess and OUR responsibility.” Now he hates washing dishes so I had to basically take that upon myself (like he hates it so much that in his rush to be done half the dishes will still end up dirty with food encrusted on them) but he helps me by drying and putting them away as I wash. Similarly I help him when he cleans the bathroom by taking the trash out or brining him the supplies he needs.

I am ITA about the husband ‘babysitting’ his kids. A babysitter is not a parent, a babysitter is someone you pay to watch your kids or who volunteers when it is not their actual responsibility, i.e. not a parent. 

ETA: When we were first dating/engaged my husband made some sort of comment about not changing diapers and I let him have it. I told him that if he was not planning on pulling his weight as a parent and taking equal responsibility for our child’s needs then we couldn’t get married because that was not the type of father I wanted for my children. He got the point.

Post # 16
Member
1004 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I agree! Sadly, my parents did not share this view, and I wish I had learned more about cars and other “guy” things as a child!

My mom still did my brothers laundry while they were in college. Ugh.

My FI knows how to cook, clean, and does his own laundry, in addition to the yardwork involving heavy lifting (but we usually do yardwork together). I do the dishes because he hates them, and he usually cooks delicious meals for me because I’m not a great cook. It was never suggested by either of us that it was my job to keep up the house!

His parents shared all the responsibilities, including the child-rearing, since his mother worked a more demanding job time-wise for a family business. I am very glad that he learned from their example!

If my parents were the model of all marriages, or what is expected, I would NOT be getting married or planning to have any children. My mother did ALL of the child responsibilities, ALL of the time, even when she was sick. And she has rheumatoid arthritis! When my dad was sick, he laid in bed for days with the door shut, and my mother took care of him.

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