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Does your SO attend all your dr. appts?

posted 1 year ago in Babies
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    1.
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    Blushing bee
    dj    April 2011  

    Hi everyone,

    I was just wondering what was normal? I go in for my first appointment next week and I'll be 8 1/2 weeks along. I was wondering if your SO attend those appts. with you? Or if it was normal for them to just attend the ultrasounds? I guess I just figured it was a check up basically and mostly dealing with you and not the baby? I just didn't know if he should take off work? What should I expect for my first appt?

     
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    Worker bee
    knittybynature      

    He went me to the first apointment and then the ultrasound; he dosen't go to the monthly checkups because they are about 5 minutes long. I didn't have my first apt. until around 12 weeks so I don't know what they have planned, but at my first appointment did a simple ultrasound to see how everything was developing, talked to us about gentics testing and got us signed up for a few pregnancy classes. I hate to even bring this up, but babies are so fragile those first few months, it is a good idea to have someone with you for the first apointment just in case is wrong.

     

     
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    Bee Keeper
    Sulli301    June 26, 2010   Michigan

    My husband was away on a business trip for my first appointment, so my mother came (about a 3 hour drive!) and we made a day of it :) My husband comes to the appointments that he can and he came to the ultrasound where we found out the sex. Sometimes he has to work but it doesn't bother me because I know he wants to be there/comes when he can

     
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    Bumble bee
    mrstilly    May 15, 2010   Ithaca, NY

    DH came to my first appointment. No ultrasound, just a urine test, blood work, and internal exam. They tried to find the heartbeat, but couldn't as it was still so early. He probably could have skipped that first one! Since then he's come to the ultra sound appointments and he came to one regular appointment on a day he already had off.

    I'd find out what to expect during your first appointment and then figure out if it'll be worth it for your husband to come. At 8 1/2 weeks they might be able to hear the heartbeat with the fetal doppler so it might be a good apt for him to go to anyway.

     
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    Helper bee
    keturahrussell    May 20, 2011   Negril, Jamaica

    When I was preggars the first time with my son, my SO came to all of them for the first 6 months and for the ultrasound. My 1st appt consisted of preggy test, urine test, and dopler ultrasound for the heartbeat. The doc also went over diet, prenatals, etc.

    Since it was new experience for us both, my SO wanted to be there, but I once I started to feel more calm about things, I didn't want him to have to keep missing work as the appts became more frequent the further along I got. I would just  call and update him on how things went when I got home/back to work.

    The 2nd time around,preggars with my daughter, he came for the 1st appt and the ultrasounds. By this time, I knew what to expect, so I was okay going by myself for all the rest.

     
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    Helper bee
    july09bridetobe    July 25, 2009  

    My husband has come to our first couple appointments -- you definitely want him there the first time you here the heartbeat. That was amazing to experience together. After that, he has come to the ultrasound appointments and just recently he went to my 38 week appointment. This last one was because it was late on a Friday and he was free. He wanted to hear the heartbeat again and I wanted him to meet the doctor again.

    For all the other appointments, he did not attend and he wasn't missing anything.

     
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    Busy bee
    harmonyeee    May 8, 2009  

    i'm asking my husband to mainly come to the 12- and 20-week appts. at the 12-week they did an ultrasound where the baby actually started looking like a baby (!) and we met with the ob nurse to discuss family health history and genetic testing. he didn't come to the 8-week because we weren't sure they would be doing an ultrasound (it depends on your doc) and even though they did it was only a jelly bean by then and they sent me home with photos. the 20-week is when they do the more in-depth ultrasound so i'd like him there for that. he won't be coming to my monthly check-ups cause it doesn't seem worth it to take off work.

     
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    Busy bee
    newbiecici    September 18, 2010   Louisiana

    He's coming to all of mine.  We schedule them around his work schedule just so he can be there.

     
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    Busy bee
    chicagowife      

    my husband has a really demanding job so he only came to the 8 week and 24 week ultrasounds.  but he's also done birth class and doula appointments with me, so i can't complaint!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    eeniebeans    October 9, 2010   Baltimore

    My husband is coming to the ultrasounds.  I don't want him coming to all the appointments- I don't need him to be there while I get weighed and pee in a cup.  But I do want him there to see the baby in the ultrasounds.  I plan to have my 7 year old daughter come to the 20 week one also.

     
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    Bumble
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    KatyElle      

    When I was pregnant he went to the first "Yup, you're pregnant" appointment and then the 20 week ultrasound. Other than that I went alone until the day I gave birth.

     
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    Helper bee
    sarahcisme    May 30, 2010   Albany, NY

    My husband didn't come to the first appt.  For the second appt, he came for the ultrasound and then left, and I met with the doctor alone.  He probably won't come to anymore appts.  Neither of us really think it's necessary at all.  I think the most important thing is that he come to the childbirth classes.  He has a lot to learn!

     
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    artbee    February 28, 2010  

    My husband comes to all of them, ultrasound or not. Even if it's not necessary, he just likes to be there. I would have him go to the first apt. if possible, they asked us a lot of questions about his family medical history that I would never have known. Plus they gave us general info about pregnancy, and it was a lot to take in at once, so it was nice having him there to help remember all that info.

     
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    Sugar bee
    KellyV    September 12, 2009   New York, NY

    Mine does come to all of them, but I also have u/s at every appointment.  He doesnt want to miss that =o)

     
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    Bumble bee
    ms.pascua    June 25, 2010   Los Angeles, CA

    Having just given birth 7 weeks early, I'm an advocate of your Hubs coming to every appointment.  Mine came to all of mine (like PP said, they do ask about his family history), and (especially as pregnancy progressed & I kept forgetting stuff) he kept a record of my progress. For the first 31 weeks, it was positive & uneventful, mostly 5 minute discussions about how everything was going well, with monthly ultrasounds until the 16th week, then u/s every other month. However, on our 32 weeks appointment (first one that was every two weeks instead of every month/3 weeks), my blood pressure was super elevated.  Doc sent us to Labor & Delivery for monitoring...the on-call doc had us stay overnight & gave me Betamethazone steroids to prep the Kid for early delivery if necessary. We were discharged with an order for bed rest (hello, Early Maternity Leave!) & an appointment for the following Monday.  On Monday, BP was so elevated that doc wanted us to deliver THAT DAY.  If Hubs hadn't been with me at those appointments (and the 32nd week one did NOT have an ultrasound scheduled), he might not have been there to know about all these sudden complications.  Had he not come to the follow up on Monday, he might have missed the birth. 

    Just a RL example of why it might be a good idea for him to come to every appointment.

     
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    bellenga    July 31, 2010   Georgia

    My xh came to the one where he heard my heartbeat, but for me (I am in the medical field) I felt it a little too "much" for him to come to the other visits.  I am private and preferred for some of the other types of exams, for him to simply not come.  He did come for the ultrasounds though.  

     
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    Lillindy    September 2008   Bay Area, CA

    Mine comes to every single one and does so because he wants to and loves it.  He likes to be in the loop of what's going on and loves being able to ask questions.  Plus, at every appointment so far at the very least we've gotten to hear the heartbeat and it's something we both enjoy hearing, it's a nice little monthly treat. :)

     

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