Post # 1
Yes, you read that right. Recently I have been a part of numerous conversations about what gender gynecologist to see due to a friend’s SO being more comfortable with a female than a male. I thought this was really surprising considering there’s nothing, NOTHING even remotely sexual or sexy about a pap smear. So I’m curious… who do you go to and does your SO have a say in who your female dr is? Do you have a strong preference for one over the other?
My story is: I’ve been to both and by far and large, men have been better, more gentle, more thorough and offered more privacy than the female doctors I’ve seen. They have all been great docs, and DH has never even made a peep about my Dr being male. A friend called me today for a referral but wouldn’t make an appointment because her husband was “weirded out” by it. I’m all for everyone doing what you’re comfortable with, it just never crossed my mind that the gyno could cause issues!
Post # 3
@Mrs_Amanda: Whaaaaaaa??? I think I’d honestly be so turned off by a SO that was so insecure as to worry about the gender of a doctor I was seeing, I wouldn’t stay in the relationship. That’s so strange to me!
Post # 4
My SO cares nothing about the gender and everything about the credentials and skills. If you are a good doctor, you get the job. Male or female we just want quality care. There may be a bit of insecurity behind the “wierded out” comment.
Post # 5
I’m with you – that’s a strange attitude! My doctor (for everything, including pap smears) is male and my husband’s doctor is female. So weird that it would even occur to anyone to care what sex a doctor is. All that matters to us is good medical care and we both have that. We had our doctors long before we even met each other so no point in changing.
Does your friend’s SO have a reason for his preference of her doctor being female?
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
Weird! My guy has never even thought to ask what gender mine is. That would be a bit of a red flag for me, but I am NOT into insecure controlling behavior at all.
Post # 7
@Mrs_Amanda: For smears I go to my family planning clinic and all the nurses there are female. Similarly, at STD clinics they have more female staff and typically you see someone of the same sex. For my endometriosis I see whoever I think is the best, so have seen a man and a woman.
OH doesn’t care who I see and I would not be at all impressed if he tried to insist on me seeing a woman; my health should come first and foremost.
Post # 8
Mine doesn’t care; at least if he does, he’s never said anything. It’s a doc after all as long as it’s good care. I actually prefer women. I had one male gyno who was so insensitive and not gentle at all. He couldn’t understand tensing like it was something I had control over. I never went back to him. Though general doc care I don’t care who I see. Thought lately I’ve been seeing mostly women.
Post # 9
@Sunfire: TBH he is an odd duck anyways so this shouldn’t have surprised me! My guess is that he ( and apparently a few others too) have a strong preference on that type of thing. I don’t even tell DH until after the fact most of the time because it’s really not important or I just forget!
Post # 10
I wouldn’t see a male gyno, even though there is nothing ‘sexy’ to having a pap smear, I am still uncomfortable with it. The only reason I would be ok with a male gyno is in an emergency situation. That is just my personal preference. I never discussed it before with my SO but he would want me to feel most comfortable.
Post # 11
@ANGELaaimt: For real. My FI does not care. I prefer female, but I’ve also only ever dealt with female and I happen to like her.
Post # 12
When I shop around for a Dr, the last thing I am thinking about is their Gender. (Seriously, this is a thing ??)
I am waaaay more concerned about their education / credentials / reputation as an EXPERT at what they do.
IE… When I was considering my second baby, I was uber-concerned about which Drs had excellent credentials when it came to emergency C-Sections… as that is what I had had the first time (in the interim I had moved to a different city, so couldn’t go back to my first OB-Gyn). I wanted a Dr, and Hospital where I would get the best results / care. Period.
Sorry, but this just sounds a bit cra-cra to me… don’t know who’s worse the SO for making such a ridiculous demand of his partner (her body = her choice), or the woman for going along with this idea.
PS… Over the years, I’ve had both Male & Female Doctors. And both genders have seen me naked (all of me naked). I mean… goodness gracious, they are Drs for pete sakes.
— — —
EDIT TO ADD
I DID NOT VOTE… Because, my choice would be:
I DON’T CARE ABOUT GENDER … JUST WANT THE BEST DOCTOR AVAILABLE.
Post # 13
Soon I’m going to have to get my 4th new gynecologist in as many years. I thought I’d be able to keep my last one for awhile, but she retired. When I make the appointment I’m just going to pick the one that has a slot that is most convienient for me. I’ve never had a male gynecologist, but I’m not opposed to the idea. FI has never cared, as long as I don’t make him go into the appointments with me.
Post # 14
Why would he even care? That would strike me as odd and if he cared about this, then we have wayy more problems to deal with.
Post # 15
@ANGELaaimt: Whaaaaaaa??? I think I’d honestly be so turned off by a SO that was so insecure as to worry about the gender of a doctor I was seeing, I wouldn’t stay in the relationship. That’s so strange to me!
My thoughts exactly.
Post # 16
So, in our area there are WAY more male doctors than female. I guess I never noticed this, but since I was looking it all up for her today and looking specifically for a female, it looks like they’re kind of outnumbered here. I mean, within a 30 mile drive from my home there are 6 hospitals that I can think of that are top notch, one being Vanderbilt, so I would say you’re probably in very capable hands any wherever you decide to go!