- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 2009
I suppose in most relationships you have the thinker & the doer. The introvert & the extrovert. The emotional & the logical & so on… In my relationship it’s the realist & well… the pretendist? I guess it could also be pessimist & optimist, but I prefer ‘realist’ vs. the term ‘pessimist’ because pessimist paints me in a negative light & I think that’s inaccurate. I don’t consider myself an unpleasant person at all. I’m quite funny & nice to people, unless they REALLY piss me off, then not-so-much, but that’s a different story. Back to topic. Let me explain.
I worry about things. I’ll even go as far as to say I worry about things a lot. No, it doesn’t keep me up at night. I’m not one of those people you see on commercials that can’t function in the real world, and I don’t take meds or anything. (No offense to anyone who does, because I know sometimes people need them, but thankfully that’s not me). Anywho, I am the worrier, the analyst, the introspect, the planner, and a thousand other things I could list to give you the impression that I’m stuffy & absolutely no fun at all. Which, once again, entirely false 😉 They just happen to be words that describe my “internal state” I guess.
I think too much, but I’m lighthearted while doing it. I’ll sing & talk baby talk to the cat, all the while thinking about a nuclear attack or some disaster that’s happening in the world right at that moment. Sometimes it’s a struggle to be happy, but I think I’m ok at it.
HUBBY is NOT a worrier. He doesn’t worry about anything ever. He doesn’t even worry about ME. I mean, he does in the husbandly take-care-of-me type of way.. You know, pay the bills, help me with housework, fix dinner, all of those SWEET things.. but REALLY worry? Like, if it’s raining hard and I have to drive 30 minutes across the city to get home from work in a torrential downpour, he doesn’t really even think about the possibility that I might have an accident. If I told him I was going to the store in the middle of the night (& I seemed confident about going) he would say “OK. Love you. See you in a little bit,” and that would be that. Sure, he might throw a “Be careful” in there, but I seriously don’t know how long it would take him to come looking for me if I didn’t come home right away. Now, if I CALLED him & needed help, he would be right there of course, but he never anticipates that anything bad will happen.
Maybe it shouldn’t bug me, but it DOES! It’s not his lack of love for me, it’s just his mentality. The fuzzy bunnies and rainbows I mentioned above. It drives me NUTS. And FORGET it if I try to tell him about some news story I heard or something. I’m a Debbie Downer. I learned not to even talk to him about stuff like that shortly after we started dating. He would say “I know that stuff happens, but I still don’t want to hear about it.”
I guess it’s good in a way, because it lends to him being probably a happier person than me in general, but I don’t think it’s necessarily healthy to mentally block the negative. I know there’s a happy medium somewhere, but he & I are at opposite ends of the spectrum.