Does your SO/DH always remember anniversaries?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

GreaterisHE:  Is the date in your profile correct? If so, do you mean your dating anniversary?

DH remembers our wedding anniversary and my birthday, which is good enough for me. It’s up to me to remember our dating anniversary.

Post # 3
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

GreaterisHE:  

My SO remembers my birthday- but honestly neither of us remember the exact date when we started dating. It was the beginning of February in 2010 anyway.

Post # 4
Member
204 posts
Helper bee

Hi! My FI does remember our important dates, but also he doesn’t have much of an option to forget since I’m always planning things so far in advance and talking about it. As far as my relationship, my guy doesn’t surprise me with elaborate date ideas or fancy dinners, which did bother me when we were first dating, however, he shows me every single day how much he loves me by being his best self and treating me so well all the time. I have a lot of friends whose SOs will buy them huge elaborate presents but they’re pretty much jerks the rest of the time. That’s definitely not every person’s situation, and every relationship is different, but what you need to focus on is what your SO does for you, and not what he doesn’t do for you. There’s a book about love languages, maybe you two should read it together. Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

My fiancé has always been great about this. He has never forgotten an anniversary and even brings up monthiversaries once in a while. We usually plan something special together, but I know what you mean about wanting to be surprised… I usually do more of the planning. Unless it’s my birthday. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  lovelee1.
Post # 7
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Christmas Tree Farm

H was terrible with dates when we first met. In fact, he still is. He stumbles over remembering his own birthdate when he’s asked. When we first started dating he was convinced that four weeks was the same thing as a month. It was adorable.

Because he knows how important anniversaries are to me, he’s worked really hard to remember our dating and wedding anniversaries, as well as my birthday. We just like to aknowledge our dating anniversary and we make sure to really celebrate our wedding anniversary every year. If we’re planning to do something special, we sit down and make the plans together. If I want him to surprise me, I tell him to surprise me and he comes up with something on his own. Asking for a surprise sounds weird, but it works for us.

Post # 8
Member
8905 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

GreaterisHE:  Your title made me literally laugh out loud… so obviously, no he does not.  I remind him about our anniversary (several times) and we usually plan a nice day together, but I certainly don’t expect a thoughtful gift.  He’s not much of a gift-giver but does a bazillion other things that show me how much he loves me, so I really truly don’t care.

I second googling the “Love Languages” thing… it will help you identify the ways that he does demonstrate love which can help you not get so hung up on the gift thing  : )

Post # 9
Member
2273 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

DH is good about remembering dates, I must give him that.  He has not forgotten one birthday or anniversary!  I also think it’s fair to add that I don’t really give him the opportunity to forget haha.  I’ll ask him what he wants to do, what he wants, & involve him in our day.  I never understood why wives leave it up to the day of & expect their seemingly forgetful husbands to miraculously remember & plan something ultra-romantic if that’s not how he normally is ..but I digress haha.

Post # 10
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

My FI is really good about our dates. He will remember our dating anniversary and our anniversary of getting engaged, as well as my birthday. He is pretty forgetful of other things not related to us however!

Post # 11
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

My husband does always remember our anniversary.  Granted, we’ve been married one year.  But we’ve been together for 7 and he has always remembered our dating anniversary and birthdays too.  He doesn’t go all out.  He usually buys flowers and a card.  Sometimes chocolate too.

For our 1 year anniversary I didn’t want to be disappointed, so I told him up front that the anniversary was paper and I expected more than just a card.  He ended up planning a surprise weekend to NYC where we saw a broadway musical and ate dinner at a great Italian place.  He also does write the sweetest cards ever.  It was perfect.

For him, I surprised him by decorating the apartment with paper everything: paper confetti, paper banners, paper fans in our wedding colors, a custom made paper table runner, and custom wrapping paper with our wedding pictures on it.  I made an almond cake (cause that was our wedding cake flavor) and my first ever whole roast chicken from scratch.  Then for his present, I gave him a framed picture from Indigo Night.  It was a great first anniversary.  🙂  We’ll see what he does next year!

Post # 12
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My dh barely remembers his own birthday :p to avoid any sort of disappointment about him forgetting a birthday or anniversary I just remind him and if I want him to plan something I simply say so. Overall though I’m pretty laid back about that kind of stuff when I say no gifts I mean it but dh will randomly bring home flowers or cook dinner or write a little note for me to find and it means more to me that he’s doing those things just because instead of some obligation. My advice to you is to take the honest approach and tell your husband you’d appreciate if he planned something for your anniversary. If you have expectations in your mind and you haven’t communicated them to him he may just be oblivious. 

Post # 13
Member
592 posts
Busy bee

SO just said today

‘We need to plan our wedding on a unique date or anyone really that I’ll be able to remember for an anniversary.’

So, no lol. 

I love to plan gifts and surprises months , sometimes years, in advance though. So I normally remind him/ask him what he wants to do with enough advanced time he remembers. 

Post # 14
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

GreaterisHE:  He remembers it approximately, within a couple of weeks. It doesn’t help that neither of us is sure what date we should make it officially, whether that is the date we met, the date we first hung out, or the date of our first “real” date and kiss. It all happened within a couple of weeks and we celebrate somewhere in that window. In my SO’s family they’re not big on celebrating things. Lol he is also NOT a planner (and I am), so I remind him that we need to celebrate and we plan a nice evening or day together. Oh also, if we decide to do presents (which we have and haven’t done depending on the year) we will agree on that because, as I said previously, he did not grow up with a family big on celebrating things. For example, when I went to celebrate his mother’s birthday with them, I was the only one to get her a present. Of course, we wrote that it was from the both of us (and it was–he helped me pick it out!), but she knew that I was the driving force behind it. That’s who they are as a family.

Honestly I feel like the fact that he shows me he loves me through his actions, has the best intentions, and isn’t doing anything negative on purpose outweighs the fact that I end up reminding him. My guy is the type to show his love more through ordinary, daily actions and support rather than making huge gestures. But I can tell that he does try to do something for me, though grandios is still not his style. And I love him for who he is and what he does for me. 

Post # 15
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June, 2014

GreaterisHE:  oh… I wish lol. But then again I’m really bad at remembering them too. He does always remember my birthday, which I definitely give him credit for, but we’re really good about letting anniversaries slip by. I plan on setting it on my calendar so I start remembering our wedding anniversary at least!

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