Post # 1
Just asking. I have a good friend who I was chatting with after working out and the conversation was carrying on for a bit and she suddenly stopped and said, “Oh, I have to go now, I have to get dinner on the table for DH.”
Now, I understand needing to go, but her DH actually expects her to cook dinner every night. She works full time and so does he, but he expects her to cook, he doesn’t help much with cleaning and he refuses to do his own laundry.
Personally, DH and I take turns cooking dinner, we both clean and we do our own laundry. Yes, we have our set chores/tasks we default to, but I honestly don’t think I could marry someone who “expected” me to do something. Relationships are about contributing and working together, but I just don’t think it is fair for one partner to expect the other do something by default.
Does your SO “expect” you to do certain things?
Post # 3
My husband isn’t allowed to cook. The kitchen is my domain.
So, yeah. He expects me to cook for him every night.
Post # 4
@bmo88: we share chores so yes he does expect dinner on the table but in the same respect I expect laundry to be done. So it’s a 50:50 deal.
Post # 5
Saying, “Oh, I have to get dinner on the table,” sounds like a pretty standard thing to me. She may be the cook of the household, but that doesn’t mean he’s got her chained up in the kitchen. Are you sure you aren’t being overly critical of your friend’s relationship?
ETA: I cook, I pack his lunch every day, I do the laundry, etc. I want to do those things. It would be odd for SO to come home to no dinner, but if I said I didn’t want to cook one night, he wouldn’t be like, “Woman, do your job!”
Post # 6
@MsW-to-MrsM: No, I have talked with her extensively about it. She has confided that certain things (like cleaning and laundry) frustrate her because of his lack of contributions to it.
ETA: Of course he doesn’t say, “Woman do your job,” but she says he is overly grumpy and disappointed if she doesn’t cook/have dinner ready. Which is fairly indicative of expecting it to be cooked.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
HA! No. My husband cooks about 95% of our home-cooked meals. I snagged a good one.
Post # 8
@bmo88: It isn’t expected per se, but I am a TERRIBLE cook, so SO makes dinner every night. I definitely dont fit into that womanly expectation 😛
We both do the laundry and cleaning, though.
Post # 9
@lolot: I am a little jealous! We take turns because if my DH cooked that much, we would only eat meat, corn and potatoes (literally).
Post # 11
the extent of my cooking is mac n cheese or spaghetti. i can do tv dinners too. aside from that, i dont cook. i work full time as does dh. theres no way im coming home to cook every night. we also share the responsibility of cleaning. he lives here too, so he should be cleaning up after himself
Post # 12
Well no, he’s the one who puts dinner on the table (he’s the household chef). I mostly stay out of his kitchen. I am the household taste-tester though 🙂
Post # 13
whoever gets home first starts cooking.. the other woulfd have to do the dishes..
most of the time we cook together and he does the dishes :DDDDDDDDDD
and i ammmm soo happy for that!.. i had a talk with him previously about how much work I have and that rushing to go home and cook for both of us all the time would be tiring and since then he has started to learn how to cook.. i am forever grateful he does listen :))))
Post # 14
@bmo88: Nope! We take turns cooking, doing the dishes, laundry, etc. The only thing I don’t do is clean the bathrooms. I take out the trash periodically, we take turns with the dog, etc.
If he ever told me that he expected dinner on the table when he got home, he’d get a microwaved TV dinner…
Post # 15
We don’t often eat at home (working in a restaurant does have its perks!), but when we do we usually either take turns cooking, or fend for ourselves.
As far as other chores, we split them. But my husband is “in charge” of lawn care as far as mowing and whatnot, and I do 95% of the laundry, otherwise it would never get done. But my husband does know if his clothes are not in the hamper, I AM NOT hunting them down from wherever he left them. If they aren’t in there, they aren’t getting done.
Post # 16
My SO and I are on totally opposite schedules (he works nights and I go to school during the day) so he definitely doesn’t “expect” me to cook, because sometimes he has already left for work when I get home from school. I try to cook whenever I can, but he is more than fine with feeding himself. We split things pretty evenly.. I cook and take care of cleaning the bathroom, he does the dishes and cleans the kitchen/vacuums the carpets, and we each do our own laundry. It works for us. I’m thankful he doesn’t “expect” me to do everything because I’ve never been a neat or tidy person – I’m learning from him lol