Post # 1
This might be a little shallow or silly… but a few months ago, I decided it was finally time to get a dog. I was originally going to wait longer, but I saw one on the shelter website that I fell in love with and went to go meet him. He was awesome, and I adopted him. SO was a little apprehensive about it, but said that as long as it was gonna be primarily “my dog,” he was fine. I thought no problem.
I adopted him. It was challenging at first. I got him as an adult so it wasn’t as tough as with a puppy, but I trained him to do new things and I am always the one to feed him and walk him and we play together every day.
But he doesn’t like me. I mean, he likes me, but no more than he likes people in general (which is a lot.) Given the choice, he curls up next to SO!! Every day when we’re sitting around on our computers, he snuggles up to SO unless I specifically call him over and make him hang out with me. I’m the only one who feeds him, walks him, trains him, plays with him, gives him treats, gives him the attention he wants so much. SO just pushes him off, but he keeps obsessing over him.
This is bugging me, because part of the reason I got him is because SO is really busy and I wanted someone to chill with (we live really far from our friends). I wanted a buddy. I’ve never heard of a dog that doesn’t prefer its ONLY caretaker! Is there anything more I can do to make him more drawn to me? To have a bond? I feel like I’m doing everything right and nothing works.
Post # 3
The same thing happened with my first dog. Needless to say we have two now lol. Have you tried taking any classes with him? Sometimes that one-on-one training time in a new environment can really improve the bond he has with you.
Post # 4
He might respect him more as the dominate male.
Post # 5
Sometimes dogs just like one person better, and they’re not always fair about it. It’s also possible that your dog as a puppy was raised by a guy, so he might have a preference for men. I don’t think there’s anything you can do, just love him and know that his preference for your hubby doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you, too.
Post # 6
Does your DH keep bacon in his pockets? just kidding. But seriously, it might be a smell or comfort thing. Our cat is very particular who he’ll cuddle with and where. He’ll only cuddle with DH on the couch and with me in bed and never the other person. There’s no explanation. Sometimes animals are just weird.
Post # 7
That’s a bummer. Maybe he just sees SO as the alpha. I would just play extra, extra loves, etc. I’m sure he’ll realize how awesome you are.
Post # 8
Our first dog spends more time with DH than me. If DH is on the couch, our boy snuggles up with him. Same for at night in bed. Oddly enough, if anyone touches me, he gets upset and jealous of them. He’s a “momma’s boy” in most aspects, but prefers to snuggle up with DH.
Now our second dog could care less about people. He loves everyone, but prefers to lay on the floor/dog bed.
Post # 9
It may be something as simple as the dogs temperment. Dog usually are looking for a dominant leader so they will be drawn to males more often. FI is very strick with our pup and for that reason the dog loves him and listens a million times better to him. sometimes it bugs me, but he still cuddles with me so its not like I’m completely repulsive lol.
Post # 10
Agree with PP, sometimes dogs are just partial to one person for no ascertainble reason. I’ve noticed that since I’m not working this summer and I’ve been home a lot more the dogs have preferred hanging out with me more, whereas before it was pretty equal. So it can still change!
Post # 11
This sounds a lot like our dog. He gets really excited when FI comes home from work and will love him up and follow him everywhere. Even though I see the dog the most and am his primary caretaker, I think he acts that way because he doesn’t see FI as often at all. I see him all day and FI is only home in the mornings and evenings. We ALL (both cats included) are excited when he comes home, so I guess I can’t blame the the dog. Also, I don’t do roughhousing, and the dog really likes that. Only FI will do it with him, so he knows when the guy is home playtime is around the corner.
Post # 12
Oh no! I’m sorry. Our cat loves FI. She used to sleep between us, now she only sleeps next to him. I know how you feel!
Post # 13
Update: Part of the reason I was so upset was because SO was so focused on him being mine and not his. He didn’t want to have any responsibility yet (which was fine with me, that’s what we agreed to) and harped a lot on “NOT MY DOG YOUR DOG” and with me having total responsibility for the dog’s every action, and the dog cuddling up to him, made me feel more like a handmaiden than a “pack leader” or buddy.
I talked to SO about it and said that it’s not his fault, but that if he took on a little responsibility too, took him out sometimes, and didn’t act like I was totally in charge, (I am not naturally an in charge type and having total control over something was starting to fray my ends a little — you can guess I’m leaning toward not having kids…) it would take some stress off me and make me feel a lot better about our little trio’s dynamic. He was super sweet about it and said “as long as I don’t have to touch poop.” (He doesn’t.) 😀 So I feel better.
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2013 - Rock Hill Country Club, Manorville NY
I had a hard time bonding and (I hate to admit it) really loving our puppy, but SO did immediately. It wasn’t until Bruford (the dog) and I took an obedience class together that we really formed a deep relationship, and I formed a deeper appreciation for him. So after having him for 5 or 6 months, I finally started to really love him!
What breed(s) is he? This can have something to do with it. Some breeds really bond with one person while others will bond to a whole family.
Post # 15
Ditto the recommendations on an obedience class, but try to get a private class and not a group class at a place like Petsmart. The dog probably has recognized subtle cues in your relationship with your SO that the dog interprets as the SO being the Alpha. This has nothing to do with SO being male; in our house, the dog sees me as the Alpha even though I’m female and fi is male. Dogs lower in the pack order will gravitate towards the Alpha because that helps them ensure a place in the pack. If you take some obedience classes together, you reaffirm in the dog’s mind that you are the Alpha, and the dog will bond more closely with you. Right now the dog probably sees you as a litter mate— the same level of pack heirarchy as the dog himself— and there’s more in it for him to have a relationship with the Alpha than with another Beta dog.
Post # 16
Some dogs just like certain people better. We have 3 dogs, one of them is definately “DH’s dog”, one is definately “my dog”, and the third likes us both pretty equally.
The dog may feel like he already has attention from you, and since your SO doesn’t give as much attention, that could be drawing the dog to want to be around him more.