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My cats sleep on my bed now. Both of them. Well, there have been a few times where curiosity gets the best of them and they jump up on the bed to see what's going on and we end up having to almost chuck them off the bed. It's a pain, but it sure is nice to have some fuzzy love around when the FI isn't around. But then again, my FI lives in Georgia. They manage to sneak their way on in the middle of the night now when he's in town.
I think it's a mood killer, honestly. I can't say I blame your FI. Everyone I know has theri dogs sleep in a crate or something outside the bedroom for thi reason. Personally, I think dogs leave smells on the bed. my parents' dog slept in their bed and it always smelled like dog. I hated that =( Good luck!
nicole_miller_hg0013.jpg (35.2 KB, 65 downloads) 1 year old 
When my Fi suggested we start training our dogs to sleep on the floor, I was a little upset. I mean, they're kind of our babies, and I love cuddling with them at night. But for the last few weeks our bed has been dog free, and I can't even TELL you how happy I am! It's just so nice to not have all that fur in the sheets. Plus, we actually get room to cuddle and ... you know 
... at night instead of having to sleep on opposite sides of the bed.
I totally understand how this would be a difficult adjustment for you or why you'd be really sensitive about this subject. Could you maybe try it out for a couple weeks? I was really surprised that I actually like having the dogs sleep on the floor. And I think it was harder for me to get over than for the dogs. If it doesn't work out, maybe you and your Fi could compromise that dog gets to sleep on the bed X number of days a week or only on the weekends. However, even though it might seem a little difficult now, you really might like it if you give it a chance.
this is really a personal decision. i think you could go Mrs. Spring's route and see how you like it. and who knows, maybe after a while your FI will get more used to doggy parenthood and want to have the dog up on the bed. my FI and i sleep with the dog in the bed, every night. dog hair be damned.
My FI and I had this same "talk" about his cats. Except, I hate his cats. I am not a cat person. I tolerate these because I love my FI. But I would prefer that we not have them. Problem is, you can't "train" cats to do anything. We can't teach them to just stay off the bed. So we've locked them out of our bedroom for the last several months. They scratch on the door and meow loudly, but I am standing my ground. I think it's bad enough that they get on the sofa. I hate all the cat hair. I don't sit on the sofa because I don't like cat hair on me. Wow, I sound like a horrible person. Sorry! It's just how I feel. FI and I want a dog once we're married, but I don't want it to get on the furniture. FI says if they're part of the family then they should be allowed. We won't get a dog until we've figured that part out. :-)
My FH wants our dog on the bed but things is.....he sleeps between us! He is 10lbs too but still.
Our dog sleeps on her own couch, she's really good about not getting on any of our furniture but her couch. The cat on the other hand....sleeps wherever he wants. He'll usually start out on the bed if FI goes to bed before me, then he's up on his shelves to sleep on his pants. It used to be on his boxers...why this is appealing to him I'll never know.
My Our dog sleeps in bed too. He's 20 lbs. Recently we've discovered that we sleep better if the dog is next to me and I am in the middle because otherwise he's a bed hog and Mr. PT lets him take over the entire bed. The dog wants to be in the middle, but I just move him. If he is really annoyed- he ends up getting off the bed and sleeping on his own bed. Maybe you should try to keep him on one side- or getting him his own bed and testing it for a few weeks??
I think that sometimes you have to choose what's important to you, and knowing the hierarchy of who matters helps. I will admit that I sometimes have to remind myself that it's Mr. Cheese first, cats second. Or Mr. Cheese first, dogs second. Or Mr. Cheese first, ice cream second. Whatever.
When you look at it that way, the choice is pretty obvious, right? The problem, for me, at least, was that it felt like the choice was between Mr. Cheese and myself. He wanted the dogs off the bed, I wanted them on. He wanted the cats out of the bedroom, I wanted them in. To make things more complicated, I'm a cuddler, and he hates to be touched while sleeping, so kicking the animals out left me cuddle-less.
In the end, though, I'd be pissed if he chose the comfort of the cat/ dog (which is how it comes across, even if it's not true) over mine... so I kick the cats out and make the dogs sleep in their crates.
But I don't like it, and I do often pout. :)
my dog is 60lbs and she sleeps on our bed. we have a king size bed, and it is the best purchase i ever made! my only rule is the baby girl is not allowed to sleep between us. also, here's a weird thing - when we start fooling around, she jumps off the bed like it's on fire and sleeps downstairs on the couch - like we're grossing her out or something!
table_numbers.jpg (42.4 KB, 38 downloads) 1 year old 
I agree as well that it's a personal choice. Our dog is 65 lbs, a HUGE bed hog (she takes up more room than the FI who's 6'3!) but she sleeps on the bed with us every night. We had to go purchase a king bed because of her. hehe. The FI still has no room to sleep, poor guy.
I would say though that if you plan on teaching them to sleep off the bed when they've been used to sleeping on it it will probably take a lot of work. Just keep enforcing it and they'll eventually get it. 
These posts are really great and some are just hilarious!! Thank you all for your input.
Peeptoe and Mrs Spring: Yes, I could try that. That's a very good idea. Thanks!
Cheese: I totally agree and have to remind my self of that often. Someone once told me, 'You can't marry your dog!'
djmaddiebluedog: My dog does the same thing! Too funny!
Gerbera: My Fi has been enforcing it and my furchild (lol) totally ignored him in the beginning. Now FI only has to say something a few times before my dog listens. My dog still loves him regardless. 
for all u people with 60+lb dogs that hog up the king size bed...my 15lb-der does the same on my king size...so you're not alone =PP before we got our puppy we were adament about NOT having the dog sleep with us...but that all went out the window the moment his big puppy eyes just stares at you...and now we can't sleep without our puppy snuggled in between us, but to be fair though my puppy is actually cleaner than the hubby =PP
No dogs allowed to sleep on our bed. We have two dogs, one 45 lbs and one who is still a puppy (golden retrievers). I can't even imagine what it would be like to have both of our dogs sleep with us...I think I would move to the couch. Both of our dogs have been trained from day 1 to sleep on their own beds on the sides of our bed...its cute really and they are fantastic about it. Of course every once in a while we let them up on the bed for 30 mins just to spoil them.
I can't suggest what you do, but good luck deciding!
Full_Photo_of_Dress.JPG (2147.2 KB, 28 downloads) 1 year old Me_&_Erika.JPG (365.2 KB, 29 downloads) 1 year old 
My dog sleeps on my bed most of the time, sometimes she will jump off and sleep on the floor. She is a real cuddler, she loves to get right between me and FI, or sleeps against my back with her head on my shoulder. She is only 7-8 lbs. Neither of us mind, we both love it. If she is on the floor in the middle of the night, sometimes one of us will wake up and put her back on the bed :) My FI tells me, and I really believe it, that he is only with me because of my dog! Well I dont really believe it, but he really loves her.
Centerpiece.jpg (95.4 KB, 19 downloads) 1 year old 
I tried to train my yorkie to sleep on the floor. But when she was a puppy I quickly found out I'd get more sleep if she slept in the bed with us. She did so well in the bed that I just continued to let her sleep there. She's about 12lbs. (only supposed to be 7!). FI does complain sometimes about fighting over bed space, and she does shed a little (black hair on ivory sheets). Sometimes I think I should try to train her to sleep on her own bed but I like to cuddle with her ;) And if my FI & I start doing anything she'll jump off and leave us alone! If it's coming between you and your FI I would at least try it out for him. I would feel bad considering the dog is used to sleeping there for 9 years!! But dogs can easily be trained and he'll still love you just the same,, once he gets used to it :)
I think not having the dog on the bed is a good idea. It will be easy for your dog to learn not to get on the bed. He'll adjust easily!
Well when my FI and I lived separately, our 80 + lb. Chocolate Lab - Rottweiler, Buddy, used to sleep on my FI's bed. I never had a dog sleep on my bed and I wasn't quite confortable with the idea of allowing Buddy on my bed for a few reasons. So once we moved in together, he wasn't allowed. Besides he had a large doggie bed to sleep on. I was OK with him sleeping in the room just not with me. But since my future FIL lives with us, Buddy spends his nights on my FIL's bed.
I've heard from trainers that its really better to not let your dog sleep with you...instinctually, the alpha dog always sleeps on the highest surface and in your house YOU should be the alpha. Good luck, I'm sure with some persistance your dog will be able to learn to sleep on the floor.
FI and I don't have a pet of our own, but when we are visiting my family my cat is all over us - much to my FI's dismay. I love it, I love having the furry little thing snuggled up to me. But it drives my FI bananas. He's not a big cat person to begin with and the cat LOVES him. You know how cats always hang around the person them least? Well my cat climbs on top of my FI's stomach so they are belly to belly and face to face and purrs so loudy you would think there was a motor in the room. I can see how totally annoying it is for my FI so I will kick the cat out but it makes me sad to see his little paws underneath my closed door!
I just remembered one time when my FI and I were in the middle of "being romantic" the cat jumped up on the bed and started licking his leg! Poor guy, no wonder he's not fond of the cat!
BOW3.jpg (69.6 KB, 4 downloads) 1 year old 
I don't have a dog, but one thing I thought of is not to anthropomorphize your dog. It will not hurt your dogs feelings if you train him to sleep on the floor or on his own dog bed. It will be an adjustment at first (for both of you), but you dog is not going to love you any less for ousting him from the bed.
And like cherrytomato1 said, it sends a good message for your dog not to sleep on the bed. You are the "alpha dog" of the house, and so you should get the main sleeping area. It comforts dogs to have a master because it makes them feel secure.
But whatever you decide, you should establish a routine for the dog and not deviate from it. If you let him sleep with you some nights but not others, this will confuse him. Dogs don't understand the meaning of "weekends" or "Tuesdays."
I don't want to turn this into a dog training discussion. But there are lots of other things a dog will try to do to be the alpha fe/male of the house. As long as s/he knows who's boss ultimately I don't see anything wrong with letting your dog sleep on your bed. Every single dog is different.
Our female pitt bull/beagle mutt tried very hard to become the dominant one in the household when we first adopted her. And even to this day she trys to skirt that line but she knows who's ultimately the alpha male and the boss. US and in particular the FI.
I do agree however that you need to decide which way you want to go. Off the bed or on the bed. Don't confuse him/her by doing some days off and some days on. Our dog has only slept in her crate overnight twice (I am NOT saying if you let your dog sleep overnight in his/her crate that you are a bad fur parent!) since we've adopted her almost three years ago. First time was her first night with us and second time was a year back when she did something VERY bad and that was her punishment. She hates being her crate knowing we are in the house and sleeping in our bed.
i love this post! i don't have a dog, but we plan on getting one eventually. i've always loved having my pets sleep with me (weird?), but my FI hates the idea. its fun to think about and read this advice! thanks girls!
we have a pug and a golden retreiver. the retreiver sleeps outside - but the pug, who is about 25 pounds - small but thick - has ALWAYS slept on our bed (thankfully we have a king size)...i know for us, we've TRIED to train him to sleep on the floor - it just did NOT work with him so we finally relented and he sleeps on the bed with us (plus he's a "velcro" dog - literally can not tear him away from my leg when i'm home.)
Like a few others said - it's either on or off - don't confuse them.
If you do not want him on the bed, start now. He'll probably wine for a while - but after a few days he'll get used to it.
with our dogs...our pug is allowed on the furniture (couch, bed, etc) but the retreiver - who is as of now about 12 pounds heavier and much bigger (and still growing as she's only 5 months old) is being trained that she's NOT allowed on the furniture at all. From the beginning we've taught her this - and she's pretty good at it (although sometimes she still tries...)
I don't know that I agree with the "it's off or on" but no in-between rule. Our good friends trained their dog to ask permission before getting up on the bed or other furniture, and he does just fine with that. Jackson usually licks their hands or puts his front paws on the bed/furniture, but he knows he's not allowed up unless he gets is specifically invited up. If they say no, he just goes back to his bed or lies on the floor.
Just a couple weeks ago we switched our dogs from sleeping on our bed at night to sleeping on their own beds. However, they're still allowed on the rest of the furniture and we allow them on the bed in the morning while we're getting ready. At this point, Louie and George know that at nighttime, when we go to bed with the lights turned off, they have to go to their beds. The one or two times they jumped up anyway, we just told them "off the bed" and they went straight to their beds and went to sleep.
I guess my point is just that you can train a dog however you want. As long as you're clear in your expectations, the dog will not be confused and will follow what you say. If you only want him to sleep with you on certain nights, make it an expectation that he has to ask permission before getting on the bed. Or teach him that cuddling before bed is ok, but when you're actually ready to go to sleep he has to go to his own bed. Lines can be drawn however it works for you; you just need to make sure the line is clearly communicated and alwayds enforced the same way.
Asking permission to get on the bed, now that's clever! That's still very consistent though, because the dog always has to ask permission. Whether it will be granted changes, but the asking is always the same.
We have a 20lb beagle and a 40lb hound mix. They have complete reign throughout the house, EXCEPT the bed. The beagle was never allowed (FI had him before we met) and we had to train the adopted hound not to get on the bed.
The bed is our ONLY sanctuary from dog hair and jumping up. We love them, but I don't know if I could deal with them killing our mood. And although at times my FI wanted the then-tiny and cuddly hound pup in our bed, I stood by our original rules. They're fine.
I agree with above posters that the leader of the house gets the highest surface to sleep on, but as long as you are consistent, you can train a dog to do anything. Your dog will be happy as long as you establish leadership.
It's all personal preference.
OMG. This one is never-ending for us. His dog is a little over a year old and a terror! It's a small dog, probably 10lbs. She has a kennel that she's in all day because if she was out while we were at work, the apartment would be trashed! (We know this from experience.) He feels so bad about her being in there all day that when we get into bed at night, he thinks she should be in bed with us. She chews on her nails all day and they are razor sharp! We cut them 2-3 times a week and file in between, but they're just awful! I'm a lot lighter of a sleeper than he is and when the dog decides she wants to play at 1am, she comes over to me and jumps on my head, scratches me in the face, etc. She doesn't do it to him much, but if she does, it totally doesn't bother him.
Grrr. I wish I liked his dog more but I just find it so hard! I'm not used to dogs that jump on you, bite you, scratch you, and try to eat off your plate... Gosh. Don't let me get started there, lol! I always put her in her kennel when she wakes me up and he never says anything about it the next morning because I usually let her out before he gets up. Sneaky but it works for us.
If it's important to your fiance and if he shows you in discussions that he's really serious about it, you might want to give in... pick your battles, as they say... and I second Cheese about who comes first. The dog won't be insulted, dogs are meant to be trained and they trust you as their boss...
FI had Bubba for 6 years before they moved in. They slept together the entire time with Bubba's head on the pillow. Bubba is an 85 pound pitbull! The nights I spent at FI house, we never could hook up because Bubba was in the middle. We couldn't even hold each other! Bubba also would nibble on sheets and drool everywhere. It was gross.
When they moved in, I put my foot down. No Bubba on my beautiful white sheets! It was hard at first, and Fi wanted to sleep on the floor next to Bubba! It took about a month of training, getting him off the bed in the middle of the night. Bubba sleeps next to our bed in his own little bed complete with down comforter. It was so worth it! Just hang in there and be firm.
Bubba also now loves me way more than FI. He lays next to me, and ignores FI. The secret is to be the one that feeds him every day.
FI hates that my dog sleeps on the bed but he is almost 14 and was 10 when Mr. M and I moved in together and he has ALWAYS slept with me - so I said he has to live with it because I want the last years of his life to be bliss!!!!!!
And he does
Yes...he does not like the dogs sleeping on the bed! I've had my dog since she was 9 weeks old and has slept with me in my bed nearly every night. When we started spending the night together, there wasn't much space left for the dog and he didn't like snuggling with her! I have a dog bed she sleeps in now, and most of the time she prefers sprawling out on her own bed! Every while in the middle of the night she jumps up on the bed without FI knowing...I don't tell him!
Oh gosh. So the dog was out last night (she sleeps in a kennel sometimes) and she was sleeping next to me, like on my pillow and something possessed her to bark. Yes. Bark. At 6am. I shot up out of bed, dangled from the ceiling fan for a minute and finally got my wits about me. She spent the rest of the morning in HER bed. lol, I think that's the hardest thing about her being in our bed. She doesn't really get in the way of us snuggling... She just doesn't like our sleep schedule. :(
My FI did the same thing with my 5lb chihuahua. Honestly it's probably better, even though she is an indoor dog you are still getting dander and hair on the place you sleep. She still gets on the sofa and cuddles, but now she has her own bed now. She's she's gotten use to it, she puts herself to bed on her pet pillow and blanket when we start brushing our teeth.
As busy as the world and schedules are, I say no pets on the bed so that you get to spend that alone-time together each night.
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Well I guess not so much a dilemma than a request from my FI to not allow my dog on the bed. I have had my dog since he was 2 months old (now 9 yrs old) and has slept on my bed on occasion. My fiance really likes my dog and my dog loves him. Has anyone else had a similar request from their FI? BTW, my dog is only 10 lbs.