Post # 1
Let me give you some info on the wedding before I tell you why I’m so hurt. FI and I live in Baltimore, MD and we found a venue across the street from our house that we have always thought would be the perfect place to get married. Done – booked it. FI family lives in California… so obviously all his family members will be traveling for the wedding. My family lives in Maryland but are all an hour or two away from the city. My grandfather still drives but his van is not in the best shape and he shouldn’t drive it for the hour. For family functions more than 20 minutes away he rides with my aunt. The plan was already set that my aunt, her family and grandparents would drive to the wedding. Most of my family members and of course FI family members are staying at a hotel the night of the wedding. This avoids anyone getting lost going home, people drinking and driving, etc.
So my grandfather has two dogs. I get it… he loves those dogs. I have cats and love them. But I would NEVER let my cats stop me from attending events. He made a comment (not the first time) that if my aunt and her family stayed the night in the city then he’s not going to the wedding. Reason: He needs to take care of the dogs. Mind you, he makes friends with everyone he meets. His neighbors love him. He could ask any one of them to let the dogs out while he’s gone. I just can’t help but feel second to dogs… I’m his oldest grand-daughter and he would rather stay at home with his dog because he can’t get a ride home than watch me get married. I was thinking of putting his dogs in a kennel for the night but one of his dogs is really nasty and it would probably be a bad idea. Maybe I’ll look into getting a car/cab to take him home. Its just so hurtful that he would say that not once but several times..
Post # 3
Honestly if there was absolutely no way I could find a person to watch my dogs overnight (not including a kennel) I probably would have to stay home with my pups too. But I find that situation to be unlikely. Has anyone asked him about checking with the neighbors?
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Old people are weird. He might not like the idea of sleeping away from home and he is just using the dogs as an excuse. Buy him a ride home so he enjoy the festivities and sleep in his own bed. Everybody wins.
Post # 5
My mom has brought it up to him. He can easily ask 3 different neighbors to watch them. I’m sure they would have no problem doing so. That is of course if they are in town. Which I know one of neighbors never goes away. :-/
Post # 6
Can he not bring them with him, lots of hotels allow pets or could the dogs not stay at your house for the night. My mom brought her dog with her for our wedding, she just stayed at my house for the day… no biggy.
Post # 7
One of my coworkers declined because “she cant leave her dog for a few hours” at first I was like…really?! I think hell be okay for 4 hours…but then I realized that if she doesnt want to be there, I certainly wont force her. Its their loss anyway.
Post # 8
@beachbride1216: Oh good point. I never thought about him using the dogs as an excuse to not stay in a hotel. Yeah, I think I’ll look into a cab. I just can’t believe he would say he wouldn’t go..
Post # 9
Yeah..old people just ARE weird. My husband’s grandmother lives in the same city we do and didn’t attend our wedding. That’s just crazy to me. Her excuse was her allergies. It was an outdoor wedding, indoor reception. Literally, a 15 minute ceremony, so she wouldn’t be outside that long….It’s not like she never ventures outdoors. It didn’t bother him, though, so it didn’t bother me.
I do understand how you feel…but again. Old people.
Post # 10
@Genuine513: We have three cats.. I see a blood bath in our apartment if those dogs stayed. haha. Plus we’re hiring a sitter to watch kids at our place during the ceremony and reception.
@MsNarwhal: Yeah, you’re right. But my own grandfather?? ugh. But true, if he wants to miss it then he’ll have to live with that.
Post # 11
It’s not just old peopple. I have 3 dogs and I won’t spend the night away from them. If I put them in kennels which I’m not a fan of (I only did this once and my dog came back with all of his nose cut open) plus the dogs all have to be treated for kennel cough and some other non standard inoculations, with the price of the kennel this costs a lot. I can’t leave them with anyone else because one of them bites, he is old and unpredictable. I know you feel hurt but I’m just trying to help you see it from somone elses point of view. If you can afford it keep him happy and pay for the ride home 🙂
Post # 12
the elderly are just so set in their ways. they can be very stubborn. good luck.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
It’s probably not what you want to hear, but if I were a guest I would have to make the same decision. I have a dog that is epileptic and needs medication every 12 hours; there are only a few people he is comfortable with enough to take his meds from, so if me, FI, or FFIL aren’t available to give him his meds, it’s a huge problem for us. You mentioned one of his dogs isn’t well socialized– could that be part of the issue for getting someone else to watch them?
Post # 14
Agree with the others, be nice to him, give him the opportunity to do both… offer up the cab fare / ride back home at the end of the day. Then at least you’ve done your best by him, and he can make an informed decision.
As for the old people comments.
As someone over 50, I guess I can understand BOTH sides of this discussion.
YES Older People are set in their ways… (lol, that ladies starts a lot sooner than you think… certainly so if you have children) routine for many is what HELPS them to get thru life.
Grampa has pets… he loves his pets, BECAUSE no doubt at his age, they ARE IS FAMILY. They rely on him, and he on them (a reason to get up and get going each day)
This doesn’t make him WIERD… this makes him HUMAN (and probably no doubt one of the reasons that the Bride here LOVES her Grampa and wants him at the Wedding)
When we don’t understand things we tend to label them WIERD… when we understand them, we tend to just call them quirks… EVERYONE has quirks… be you a newborn or an elderly person. Just is what it is.
We will all be old soon enough… trust me, you don’t want anyone calling you wierd no matter what age you are.
Post # 15
I ammend my statment. “Old people can be quirky!” Same idea, though.
Post # 16
@juliette.eliza: I totally see your point and the situation you’re in with giving your dog’s medication. The one neighbor who doesn’t usually go out of town has been around the one dog that isn’t so friendly. So he knows her and is comfortable with her. He would go outside for her.
@Amndy: I’ve heard really bad stories about kennels so it would really be a last resort BUT I can’t even do that with the one dog. I see where you’re coming from, especially having the bad experiences leaving your dogs at the kennel.
@This Time Round: I work in a retirement community so some things older people do really don’t surprise me. But I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that my own grandfather wouldn’t want to go. I guess when I make the statement about my resident’s treating the staff poorly, “What if I was their granddaughter?? Would they treat me that way?” haha. I guess it can happen to anyone. I think that’s why I’m so hurt. I can’t imagine him not being there. I think looking into transportation for him is going to be my best bet. That way he can attend the wedding and still make it home to his dogs at the end of the night.
blah. oh grandpa.