I was curious how many of you did a traditional bridal shower. Both the FI and I are Chinese and well...the shower just doesn't seem like something that either of our families would take initiative in planning, since it's such a western tradition, especially with the gift giving. But I do feel like it'd be a fun event to have, and my MOH was interested in hosting one for me too. Do you keep it to just the ladies your age? Or do you still invite the families and aunties, etc? I was thinking that I would like to extend invites to some of the aunties because I know my FMIL isn't inviting all of her circle (we're actually imposing limits on the guest list!) and this might be a nice way to include them in the festivities.
I don't know the Chinese traditions, but in response to your last sentence, I am confused....do you mean invite some of the people on your FMIL's list that arent' invited to the wedding to the shower? This is only how I read it. If so, you really can't invite guests to the shower and not to the wedding.
Be sure to remember that who you invite to the bridal shower will be invited to the wedding.
I hosted a bridal shower for my cousin a couple weeks ago. There was a limited number of close family and friends...all girls. (Guest list was provided by the bride) It was about 20 people. During the bridal shower, we talked, ate, played games and then open presents. The bride had a lot of fun especially with the games.
Okay, so it would be a major faux pas to invite people to a shower that aren't invited to the wedding. I wasn't sure and I was a little lazy to check :).
But I guess my major question was really how many of you did traditional bridal showers with your families and family friends, especially since my impression is it doesn't seem like something Chinese people would do? My FMIL was kind of 'whatever' about the idea, and my mom is still firmly in the 'no presents, just cash gifts!' boat, which would be weird for a shower I guess :).
Well, you can have a gift registry to give people the option to give cash or a present. My cousin received gift cards (same as cash) as well as gifts from her registry.
i didn't want to have a bridal shower because it was asking my bms and whoever would throw it spend more money on me...however, i just recently threw one for my friend (i'm her matron of honor) because i wanted to do it.
you can have any kind of bridal shower you want...
all girls or mixed (I believe mrs. penguin did a co-ed shower)
if just girls - you can invite girls of all ages (including aunts, moms, etc) or just girls your age (that's what I did with my friend recently)
as for gifts - you can do whatever you want - you can have guests buy you gifts off your registry or you can have a different type of shower....the shower i recently threw was a naught and nice shower....we all showered my friend with gifts that bring the naughty side out of her...hahah so there was lingerie and other fun gifts....
i do have to say that they're a lot of fun because you can play games...have drinks...have food...etc....
Maybe instead of a shower, you could have some sort of bridal luncheon or tea. That way there is no pressure to bring gifts and you still get to have a fun, non-Bachelorette get together with the girls before the wedding.
In my family it is typical for the family to throw a wedding shower, the bridesmaids to throw a bachelorette/lingerie shower and then the bride to throw a small bridal luncheon to thank everyone who has helped her out.
kind of late, but thanks for the responses -- i really like the idea of a fun shower with maybe the younger girls, or a bridal luncheon vs. a traditional gift giving shower :). i'll pass this on to my MOH!
Hi bees,
I was curious how many of you did a traditional bridal shower. Both the FI and I are Chinese and well...the shower just doesn't seem like something that either of our families would take initiative in planning, since it's such a western tradition, especially with the gift giving. But I do feel like it'd be a fun event to have, and my MOH was interested in hosting one for me too. Do you keep it to just the ladies your age? Or do you still invite the families and aunties, etc? I was thinking that I would like to extend invites to some of the aunties because I know my FMIL isn't inviting all of her circle (we're actually imposing limits on the guest list!) and this might be a nice way to include them in the festivities.
Thanks in advance!
posted by charmedbride 46 posts 3 months agoI don't know the Chinese traditions, but in response to your last sentence, I am confused....do you mean invite some of the people on your FMIL's list that arent' invited to the wedding to the shower? This is only how I read it. If so, you really can't invite guests to the shower and not to the wedding.
posted by dreambml 429 posts 3 months agoBe sure to remember that who you invite to the bridal shower will be invited to the wedding.
I hosted a bridal shower for my cousin a couple weeks ago. There was a limited number of close family and friends...all girls. (Guest list was provided by the bride) It was about 20 people. During the bridal shower, we talked, ate, played games and then open presents. The bride had a lot of fun especially with the games.
posted by CaliGirl 14 posts 3 months agoOkay, so it would be a major faux pas to invite people to a shower that aren't invited to the wedding. I wasn't sure and I was a little lazy to check :).
But I guess my major question was really how many of you did traditional bridal showers with your families and family friends, especially since my impression is it doesn't seem like something Chinese people would do? My FMIL was kind of 'whatever' about the idea, and my mom is still firmly in the 'no presents, just cash gifts!' boat, which would be weird for a shower I guess :).
posted by charmedbride 46 posts 3 months agoWell, you can have a gift registry to give people the option to give cash or a present. My cousin received gift cards (same as cash) as well as gifts from her registry.
posted by CaliGirl 14 posts 3 months agoi didn't want to have a bridal shower because it was asking my bms and whoever would throw it spend more money on me...however, i just recently threw one for my friend (i'm her matron of honor) because i wanted to do it.
you can have any kind of bridal shower you want...
all girls or mixed (I believe mrs. penguin did a co-ed shower)
if just girls - you can invite girls of all ages (including aunts, moms, etc) or just girls your age (that's what I did with my friend recently)
as for gifts - you can do whatever you want - you can have guests buy you gifts off your registry or you can have a different type of shower....the shower i recently threw was a naught and nice shower....we all showered my friend with gifts that bring the naughty side out of her...hahah so there was lingerie and other fun gifts....
i do have to say that they're a lot of fun because you can play games...have drinks...have food...etc....
posted by Joanne 147 posts 3 months agoMaybe instead of a shower, you could have some sort of bridal luncheon or tea. That way there is no pressure to bring gifts and you still get to have a fun, non-Bachelorette get together with the girls before the wedding.
In my family it is typical for the family to throw a wedding shower, the bridesmaids to throw a bachelorette/lingerie shower and then the bride to throw a small bridal luncheon to thank everyone who has helped her out.
posted by kayteebug 27 posts 3 months agokind of late, but thanks for the responses -- i really like the idea of a fun shower with maybe the younger girls, or a bridal luncheon vs. a traditional gift giving shower :). i'll pass this on to my MOH!
posted by charmedbride 46 posts 2 months ago