Post # 1
It just worked out that my birthday is two days before my wedding. As a result, my mom would like to throw me a birthday party for me and my bridesmaids – she is deciding between a tea party, which would include some of my female relatives as well, or a girl’s night out type of thing with a limo and drinks and just the bridesmaids. This is something she really wants to do for me.
But…doing so would mean I’m asking my bridesmaids to spend their Thursday afternoon/night (possibly taking off early from work) with me for the b-day party, Friday night (again might have to leave work early) for the rehearsal, then of course all day Saturday for the wedding and possible Sunday morning for a brunch. That’s a lot of time with me, and very little time for themselves. Not to mention that they are throwing me a shower, and a bachelorette party that will take up time and I know they’ve spent time planning. I don’t want them to feel like they are having to do too much, as they will basically be spending four days in a row doing things that are all about me.
Is it too much? Is there a way to gauge if it’s too much? I thought about sending an email seeing if they were interested, but I almost feel like they would feel inclined to say yes. My mom keeps saying "but they’re your friends!" and that these things are fun, and who wouldn’t want to do it. But they are busy adults like me and I don’t know that I’d appreciate devoting four straight days to my friend’s wedding.
Post # 3
I think it doesn’t hurt to put it out there. I’m sure if you tell your ladies it isn’t mandatory then they won’t feel pressured to go. I think you should just let everyone know and see what kind of response you get. Plus, even if they don’t all attend you already said there will be others attending so it’s not like your birthday festivities will be a complete bust.
Post # 4
When is the bachelorette party? Could that be a bach/b-day party? If you’re concerned that it is too much would you be willing to skip one? (Birthday or bachelorette?) Could the birthday party be on a more agreeable day, like the weekend before? So they wouldn’t have to leave work early?
I don’t know if having a b-day party is too much, but I wouldn’t encourage them to leave work early for it. That might be a bit much.
Post # 5
I think if I do decide to do this, we’ll go with the girls’ night out-type idea, because then they won’t have to leave work. I would be willing to substitute this for the bachelorette party, but that has already been planned/things reserved for another day, and the birthday party is really all my mom’s idea. I wouldn’t even be considering it, but it’s something she really wants to do.
I think I will just put it out there and see if they want to go. I mean, it is a night in a limo and free drinks, but I just don’t want anyone to feel put out.
Post # 6
I don’t believe asking them to spend that much time with you is a lot to ask, but I think it might be a bit much to ask them to leave work/miss work on Thursday and Friday afternoons.
Perhaps you could suggest to your mom having a birthday/girls night for you a few weeks beforehand on a Saturday night?
Post # 7
I agree with above– I wouldn’t mind an extra night of fun, but would have problems if it’s interfering with work. I would talk to them…. perhaps the night on the town could start later or be a little abbreviated.
Post # 8
It sounds like fun to me!
Post # 9
Since your mom seems to want to make your birthday a great one, how about you suggest just the two of you doing something? Maybe she can take you to a nice dinner and have some quality mother/daughter time before the craziness of the wedding/married life takes over. I know another night out with your girls would be fun, but I think suggesting doing something with your mom might make her day (granted, I know nothing about you or her).
Also, and this is just me, I know I don’t like going out hard on weeknights. Maybe if it’s just a dinner (and by the way, is your mom paying for this whole thing?) then the girls would be more inclined to go. It wouldn’t take time from work on Thursday and they wouldn’t be too tired for work Friday morning. Either way, have a fab birthday and wedding day!
Post # 10
I’m also getting married the same week as my birthday.
My FI and I are planning to do a quiet date on my actual birthday then when everyone gets into town we’re going to celebrate my birthday along with all of us being together. I think if you make it clear that it’s not mandatory then a party would be okay, but I can’t expect our friends to take more time off work at the same time.