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Hello Girlies!
I have been to a lot of weddings over the years. I notice dollar dances seem to have been more "en vogue" back in the 90's as none of my friends recently have done one. I personally am not planning on it-and thought the tradition had died out entirely until two weeks ago a friend had one at her wedding. Just wondered everyone's thoughts and if you are/aren't planning on one.
Negative! I've never been to a wedding with one either, but I would be interested to see one in real life. I also like money. But I hate asking for it---so this would not be fitting for us. I wish I could just steal everyone's money and not have to dance with them. Maybe I will have a secret money dance...FI and I will become very skilled at pickpocketing and dance with everyone at the wedding! no? No, good?
pickpocket.jpg (49.1 KB, 50 downloads) 2 years old 
I didn't even think to include something like this, until I had a conversation with my boss at work this past weekend. One of the girls at work got married last summer and didn't have a dollar dance. Apparently some guests (including my boss) were disappointed because they viewed the dollar dance as a time to visit uninterrupted with the bride/ groom (with even 100 guests at a wedding, it's hard to visit with everyone!).
So now I'm not sure if I want to do that or not - but either way, his perspective was interesting.
Note: He also said that at his brother's wedding, he was the BM and every person who gave a dollar to dance got a shot in return - he poured them but he had to drink one too with the person. He highly recommended not having shots involved (or at least not having the person collecting money take shots with everyone!)
I went to a wedding that had one, and I participated and had fun. However we will not be having one at our wedding. It just doesn't really fit the mood we're trying to create. We are a little worried because around here dollar dances are always done to polka music. Well Fi's family is very Polish, so we will be having a polka or two. Hopefully no one gets confused ;)
I am not having one. Not trying to offend anyone, but I think they are tacky. If people want to give you money, they can do so without you begging for it. Just my opinion.
No, I think it is the equivalent of putting your registry on the invites.
my mom asked me if we wanted to do one. in puerto rico this is common and part of a lot of wedding. i feel uncomfortable doing it. we still dont know
@ eva- I think I had a different idea of what the dollar dance was....I didnt know those dollars bought you a dance with the couple, I thought it was a dance that the couple did in which people came up and basically threw money at them.
Several of my friends have had dollar dances, but I just don't think I can do it. I know that I personally NEVER carry cash and most of the people I know don't either, so I feel like it can be awkward if no one actually has a dollar or two and so no one starts dancing with the bride or groom. It just seems like to much opportunity for awkwardness if a lot of people don't participate. Plus, I don't want my guests to feel obligated to pay to talk to me or dance with me that night. As I said though, many of my friends have had them, and I don't think anyone judged them or felt awkward about it. I think dollar dances are fairly common in some regions.
I've heard of it but never seen it done - not a part of our family culture and so I can't imagine doing it. I would feel super-weird!
Ick. I'm not doing one either. They're common here in StL, I think every wedding i've ever been to has had a dollar dance. I just hate the whole concept, I think it's just icky. Plus, I really don't like being touched a lot, so the idea wigs me out. Hugs, I can handle. Dancing, not so much.
@ccranetobe - I'm not sure if it's a regional thing or not, but my understanding if a person pays a dollar and in return they get to dance with the bride or groom for a short period of time. The goal isn't really to make money (I don't think) - it's more like a "fun" way to get to dance with the bride or groom.
Eva- I agree with all that except about the goal of making money. I've always thought that was the main purpose, and the reason that people object is because they find such public appeals for money to be crass. (But I still don't mind them...)
I'm pretty sure that the money is suppose to go towards your band....that is, if you have one. That's been the tradition that I've been taught.
*EDIT*
Plus, it's more common here in Missery to kiss the bride on the cheek for a dollar than to dance.
I think it's tacky too. Here in Canada, we don't even have dollar bills, lol!
As odd as I thought they were growing up, I've come to appreciate them when at friends' weddings. It's always a nice few minutes with the bride where we can just relax and talk since there isnt really anybody close by.
My BFF had one, and it was fun! We're not planning on doing it though. It's sometimes a regional and/or cultural thing, so I wouldn't call it "tacky"... just another way that different cultures celebrate.
@greenleafmountain - I guess I was thinking that if you dance for 1 song (or maybe 2), you would be dancing with probably less than 10 people for each the bride and the groom - so you would be making maybe $20 (unless of course people give higher denominations that $1 bills). I don't know that I would do it personally, but I can see how some people would find it to be entertaining.
I think it's the same type of reasoning as the garter toss - normally a husband would never be searching for apparel under his wife's dress in public - but an a wedding it's socially acceptable. Likewise, in some regions a "playful" appeal for money seems to be socially acceptable at a wedding (for whatever reason).
It's really a regional thing, I think. It's VERY common around here - I've only been to one wedding without a dollar dance. We won't be doing it, just because FI and I aren't huge fans of them, but it's very common to see it!
im sorry to disagree with some ladies here. this is not tacky. is part of culture. in puerto rico is a way to start helping the newlyweds.
@ritsi - haha can you imagine chucking loonies and toonies at the couple? that would be SO much fun :P
@VirginiaMarie: ROTFL! If you master the pickpocketdance-let me know!
@EvaBostenTerrier: I didn't used to think it was about making money either...but then some co-workers were discussing how a friend of theirs made $350 bones having one! Co-worker was saying now she is FOR SURE going to have one at her wedding because she wants to get some cash. I was horrified!
I would assume it is just a fun tradition, but like most of you have said, asking people for money at any point during the reception is out of my comfort zone
I think this is called something else in other parts of the county...not sure what though....
I agree with Magenta, it is a Hispanic thing. I am Mexican and it is something that they do all the time at Mexican weddings. It is a way to help the couple get started in their new life. So, heck yeah I am going to have a dollar dance *^_^*
Yes, pretty much every wedding I've been to here in the Midwest has them. We didn't want one either but when we heard how much our families liked dollar dances we decided to have it. Hey, if they want to pay to dance with us then that is fine by us!
So we had the dollar dance and it turned out well. My husband really liked it because it gave him a chance to talk with a lot of people. I felt the same. Plus it gave us $180 extra that went straight to our honeymoon. It was fun when all my girlfriends came up and danced in a big circle with me for the dollar dance too.
If it's the norm in your area then I say have it. Ask around and see if your older relatives will be upset if you forego this tradition. Chances are many of them like dollar dances and will want to see it at your wedding.
I agree with those of you who said it's a cultural thing. My cousin married a Hawaii and they do something along the same lines as the dollar dance. (Not sure if it's the norm - but they would stick the money in the bride and grooms atire - sometimes with their mouth. They would hide the money in sugar packets so the money wasn't directly touching their mouths. It was entertaining nonetheless!)
I've seen it at many weddings around this area ~ but I honeslty was trying to decide if it was tacky for me, here, with my culture.... I'm totally up in the air ~ I appreciate this thread and all of your honest input. It's interesting to hear all of the opinions. Now it's my turn to decide what MY opinion is....hmmmmm....
I have been to many weddings where they have had a dollar dance. As a kid I loved them. As and adult I can't say i haven't participated. I enjoy spending a short time with the Bride or Groom. We have talked about this and BF says he wants one. I don't mind either way. My sister who will be my MOH says absolutely not but it's not really her choice is it.
Interesting points have been brought up. For one they are time consuming. Depending on your guest count they could take an hour or longer.
In response to zippylef I did not necessarily think of it like this. You will be in close proximity to lots of people. Many of our guests will be people I love dearly. BUT... there is always that awkward uncle, aunt, cousin, friend, etc. who has bad personal hygiene or maybe they are a talker or won't let you go.
As much as you might find this tacky or a faux pa, some people may find this fun and or a great way to spend some personal time with each guest. Just think about all the angles to this.
I've never seen a dollar dance at weddings before, but I've seen very similar things; ring a bell and toss in a loonie [to a bowl etc] and the bride and groom will kiss, or things along those lines. I think it's a broad cultural thing, people [generally] enjoy it not only for it's entertainment, but because they know that they're helping out the new couple.
Will I be doing something like this? Probably not, but that's likely because I have a hard time accepting money/gifts from others.
It's definitely a regional/cultural thing. I grew up in New England and never attended a wedding in that region where there was a dollar dance. Now I live in Southern California and every wedding I have been to here has had a dollar dance.
I don't think we are going to do one. It makes me feel a little uncomfortable and I'm not sure the people coming from my side of the family will get it. It's not that I think it's tacky (I loved the dollar dance at the last wedding I attended), it just doesn't feel right for our small, casual wedding.
It's big cultural thing to do at the reception for Persian weddings, too and isnt tacky or weird at all, so please dont knock other ppls cultural traditions ladies! Just a matter of opinion, I guess.
For us, we have thrown this idea around because we really want to incorporate cultural traditions in subtle and since my dad is Persian and this is a really big, fun thing that they do at weddings, we've discussed possibly doing it. Ive never been to one that did it but from hearing about and seeing videos, it seems like a lot of fun and something to make our reception unique and memorable.
Plus, its optional and guest arent required to participate if they dont want to so they can just sit back and enjoy the entertainment lol.
Its not a common tradition where I'm from. We won't be doing one. I think its tacky (but maybe that's because they aren't common around here).
First I would like to say that I REALLY wish people would stop using the word TACKY to describe their feelings on something other people are doing at their weddings.
Second, I'm not really sure how I feel about dollar dances. However, I like what the idea behind them is.
Traditionally a dollar dance/money dance has been not only a chance to dance with the bride/groom and get a few minutes of face time with them, but also a "fundraiser" of sorts that is supposed to contribute to the couple's honeymoon or to their setting up their home. This dates back to when couples were not living together and were not living outside their parents' home before marriage.
I really think it just depends on what people are comfortable with and what people want at their weddings.
Agree with Miss Lily. I really don't normally care too much about people saying tacky or whatever, especially in matters of personal taste. But, as has been pointed out, this is a cultural element. This is one time when it really irritates me for people to call it tacky -- just beacuse it is not common in your circle does not make it "tacky." It just means it is something you are not familiar with. This is not the same as everyone having an opinion on shoes and deeming one style "tacky" compared to another. I realize that a lot of people with middle-class, white, American values will argue that it has to do with asking for money in general, but allow me again to point out that represents middle-class, white, American values. It is not better or worse than another groups' values, and it should not be the measuring stick against which all etiquette must stand.
My traditional, working-class, Slovak-heritage family would be extremely disappointed if I did not have a dollar dance.
SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!!!!!
HA HA its tradition in our heritgage to it. SO might as well!
I 2nd miss lily, too much "tackiness" and snarks towards cultural traditions in this thread.
Here, we have a very large Philippino population and it's a HUGE popular wedding tradition in their culture. The families actually make a "hat" out of money for the groom and a sash and jewelry out of money for the bride to start it off!
I go to weddings for my job and I would say across the board about 40-50% "american cultured" wedding do them. 99% of Philippino weddings have them...
I was actually thinking about this, and I think we are planning on doing it. My brother and his wife (in Houston) did one. They used his fire helmets to collect the money and it made for a lot of fun times and great pictures with a lot of people they otherwise wouldn't have been able to get...
Not having one, but agree with the fact it is 100% cultural and some families enjoy and indeed expect them. I've been to African weddings where there are several incarnations in one event (lasts over days) - one comes to mind where the bride dances into the reception hall alone in her change-of-outfit after the ceremony and dinner. Her guests stick money on her while the maids come after and pick it up, for example. It's supposed to be money to start her household and a fun way to kick off the afterparty!
@KLP - Hey girlie, long time no see!! I completely forgot about Filipino traditions - my cousin married a lovely Filipino girl years ago and they had the hat and sash and everything! I didn't realize the "jewelry making" was traditional too. It was the first dollar dance I'd ever seen and it was adorable.
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