Hi @ryo: I see you are NEW to WBee, so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”
Your Wife definitely has problems.
Anger issues, and it sounds to me as if she is emotionally and borderline physical abusive too (I say borderline cause she is “blocking” you… she hasn’t hit you, shoved, pushed, choked you etc todate, right ?)
She is throwing & breaking things that is intimidation…
She definitely has issues with power and being in charge… the “I am more talented / clever than you” are also tell tale signs
There are infact A LOT OF RED FLAGS HERE
And anyone who has been in an Abusive Relationship, or have experience with them will tell you this sounds very much like how they all begin (altho you didn’t mention any namecalling yet, that aslo is another tell)
She needs help… you both do.
I am going to say Marriage Counselling vs your out and out leaving, because at this point in time she is mostly hurting “the relationship” and herself… and not you.
Marriage Counselling is the place to start… someone needs to explain to her that her being out of control isn’t a good thing and it doesn’t bode well for the future of your marriage.
She needs to get all this under control…
BECAUSE if she doesn’t it will get progressively worse and worse
Abusers lose control and eventually cannot go backwards… they have to fix it when it is “young” or else they pretty much won’t be able to in time (has to do with their shame & self esteem)
So heed this…
DON’T DO WHAT I DID (I spent 20+ years in an abusive relationship that got progressively worse and worse)
Calmly tell her you are willing to work on this as a couple… and that you realize it will take time to work thru
Set a timeline…
I’d be generous give her a year… to work thru therapy… after that no more of these tantrums
The first one after a year’s time, and you are done. Gone.
Hope this helps,
PS… This is not to say I CONDONE HER BEHAVIOUR… If she was to strike you at all, I’d say that would be my line in the sand, and she has overstepped the boundary !! And I’d be done / gone.
My Ex-Hubby he went on like your wife is for several years, before he actually struck me… IF he had faced up to his problems (THEY HAVE TO DO THE WORK… YOU CANNOT DO IT FOR THEM… YOU CANNOT FIX THEM… THEY HAVE TO WANT TO FIX THEMSELVES) there might have been a chance he could have overcome it. But by the time we went to counselling (when I found my voice… and spoke up) he was too far down the Rabbit Hole… beyond a point of sensible return. I stayed cause we had little ones… and I thought I’d be able to help him cause afterall he was a good person, we just had this awful shameful secret. Never could help him… he dug in deeper… and turned to booze to hide his loathing, low self-esteem, shame etc. That just made him go from being an occasional abuser to an alcoholic who was abusive. Nice combo.