(Closed) Dominant bridal party, more submissive bride

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4529 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@leenh78:  Freelance makeup artist here. 4 (count on it being 4 with makeup if you’re getting quoted 3 for hair) hours is a *long* time for some people to sit still and wait to have their hair or makeup done. Unfortunately, it’s kind of one of those things you sometimes have to deal with when you signup to be a bridesmaid: you do alot of sitting and waiting the big day. Maybe bring some activities or snacks to keep everyone entertained.

As far as the shoes, I think $80 is expensive too IF they are paying for their own dress as well. If you’re covering that cost, $80 isnt a huge amount…but if she’s already spent $200 on a dress and now nearly $100 shoes, I can understand the concern.

Post # 4
Member
3741 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

What are the bridesmaids responsible for paying for?

 

Post # 5
Member
7851 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

can you give guidelines for shoes with your final approval but let her find shoes that fit her budget?

 

 

 

Post # 7
Member
3741 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So you’re paying for the shoes and the hair? If so, she needs to take a backseat on this one.

 

Post # 9
Member
3741 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Are the dresses long or short?

If they’re long, I’d probably just let them wear whatever shoes they want. If they’re short, could you specify a color/style and let the girls find their own shoes? $80 is a lot of money to some people, especially for shoes that they might never wear again.

Post # 12
Member
4529 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@leenh78:  I get what you mean. If you can afford a second stylist and WANT to spend that money, I say go for it just to make YOUR day go faster….shutting her up would just be a nice side effect 🙂 But if it’s not in your budget, she’s just going to have to suck it up :-/

Post # 13
Member
551 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@leenh78:  Since you’re paying for their hair/makeup, tell her you can only afford to have one stylist. If you are comfortable with her having her hair done elsewhere (at her own expense), tell her she may do that if she wishes.

While the bridesmaid shoes do seem a little expensive, that’s what everyone signs up for as a bridesmaid. I think that is a very appropriate shoe for an October wedding! You could allow her to search for a similar shoe at a lower price, but if champagne is a difficult color to match, nude is also a great option. (I’m also a very laid back/submissive bride and am allowing my BMs to choose their own dress style, shoes,  jewelry, and hairstyle — I chose the color scheme. I have SO many other things to coordinate that it seems easier to let the girls make their own decisions and I can focus on the rest of the planning.)

Post # 14
Member
3900 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

would you be willing to let her come towards the end of getting ready? Say you start at 10am – let the mom’s and the other MOH go first, then she can show up towards the end. Yes, she misses some of the getting ready and “bonding” but there will be less stress and complaining  🙂

Post # 15
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would be extremely upset if I was asked to spend $80 on shoes. I paid $180 including altreations for the dress in my last wedding, and that was more than I would have preffered. Luckily, she let us choose our shoes. I spent $15. But with all the other gifts and everything, $80 shoes is ridiculous. 

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