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This girl got engaged and instead of having a smaller/less expensive wedding, she is asking for donations instead. 1$ or 2$... nothing drastic.
What are your thoughts on this? Would you donate?
I don't think I could ever ask for donations like that. I've never been one to ask for money for something that directly benefits me; I can understand asking people for donations for a mission trip, but when I went to peru for study abroad I forked out that cash myself. Though, it's a lot easier for people to give a dollar here or there than to pay for a wedding by yourself.
I just don't get why anyone would give her money. I mean if you want to donate money, how about a real cause like Alzheimer's, breast cancer, or blind orphans??
Tanya123 -- my thoughts exactly. Of all the places someone's money could be donated to... I wouldn't p
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Ummmm NO!!! If I needed money that badly I would go to the bank & get a loan. It's not like it's for her child who needs cancer treatment or something difficult.
I'm sorry but all her reasons are DUMB. To insinuate that someone who gives her nasty emails is one who will not donate to her wedding nor to charity is rude and ignorant. I donate to charities of my choice, to people who DESERVE and NEED it.
There are tons of people out there with debt, with student loans and have no money saved for a wedding. Myself included! But I'm not sticking my hand out asking strangers for money. If she truly wants to be legally married to fiance that bad it costs barely anything to go to civil hall and get it done. Rings and bands are material things that can come later. If wedding blogs have taught us anything it's you can have a beautiful wedding for next to nothing.
I wish the link to her site will get deleted and rather a quote of her note so that we give her NO more satisfaction of traffic. Honestly if I were her parents I would be disgraced.
Edited to strikeout mean comments. But I said it so I feel no need to delete them. If moderaters of this wish to delete this post I have no issues with that. I am a very opinionated individual. :D
It's totally fine to disagree with the call to donations... but please refrain from any personal attacks. Thanks!
I would never donate, but if somebody else out there gets their kicks from donating to a random person's wedding, so be it. I don't quite understand why anyone would find it offensive?
There was something similar a while back... savekaryn.com? A lady was in massive debt, and I believe she eventually paid it all off through internet donations! Interesting concept.
I gave her a couple of bucks. I think its pretty funny, if not genius. I seriously wish I had a fundraiser to help pay for our freaking out of control budget, as we do not have benafactors.
Seriously, I would never do it, but hats off to her. Get those chivari chairs girl! :)
Hell. No. And because I respect MrBee, I'm going to leave it at that.
I still don't agree with the idea...
But how is doing this any different than having a stag and doe party? (Or whatever they're called in your region.) People there just sell $10 tickets to people to come to party to raise money for the wedding. If you want to pay, pay... if not, don't.
It's not something I would do, or would financially support someone else doing, but really it's up to both individuals involved.
jenny.j, I've never heard of a stag/doe party, but I think you're thinking of the bachelor/bachelorette party. If that is the case, there are no tickets involved. Friends/family of the groom/bride spend a night out (or in). Just confused about what you're referring to.
EAQ219, stag and doe parties like jenny.j described are common in certain areas (I think mostly the midwest? not 100% sure). Tickets are sold for the purpose of raising money for the couple. It's sort of like a couples' shower, except they're showered with cash via the tickets instead of gifts. I've never been to one or invited to one myself, but it's something I've heard about before. The difference between this and the website, I'd argue, is the same as inviting people to a bridal shower vs. opening a website and asking strangers to buy something off an online registry.
As far as the website goes ... no, I would not donate. I believe strongly in charitable giving, but a "throw me a fancy wedding" fund doesn't qualify in my mind, not with so many wonderful nonprofit organizations hurting during this economy. I might want to contribute if the couple had a really good reason for not being able to raise their own wedding funds (e.g. massive medical bills), but that doesn't seem to be the case here. And I'll just stop there.
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I wish I could go back in time and not clicked on her link. My browser is dirty now.
*clears browser history*
Ohhh gotcha. Thanks for the clarification Melissa :) I was so confused.
@Niki - LOL...I was going to click on it to look & then didn't for the same reason.
I think the sense of "entitlement" is what shocks me the most. People like her feel entitled to all the good things in life with all the trimmings, even though they can't afford it. Gosh, this attitude is what contributed to the mortgage crisis - people feeling entitled to owning homes that they couldn't pay for in the end. And now taxpayers have to contribute to the bailout!
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Yea. . . . . . NO. . . I'm sorry but of all the things to donate to, as in Diabetes research,cancer,homelessness,orphans. . .yes. . . . . poor bride??? I think not.
I think this really speaks to what wedding culture has become. I mean, I know some people say they only want the wedding they can afford and it's really all about two people who love each other coming together, but this girl is at least being honest enough to say "Hey, I want a wedding that the wedding industrial complex tells me to want whether I have the money for it or not."
I'm definitely guilty of wanting a platinum wedding-- I mean, who doesn't wish they had more money to spend on flowers/the perfect dress/ a giant champagne fountain?
Frankly I would never donate money to something so frivolous, but I think you have to look at this for what it is. We are constantly told- this is what a wedding should be like. This girl can't afford a "good wedding" so she's asking for donations. You can't say she's a bad person for that.
Obviously this wouldn't be everyone's choice but I hope we can discuss it without using derogatory terms. Thanks in advance. 
I wonder if she was operating from the "it never hurts to ask" principle? Or rephaps she was hoping to get enough publicity that wedding vendors might want to donate their services because of the exposure it might get them? 
To each their own. At least she's not lying about what the money is for. You can choose to donate or not. I personally would not. It'll be interesting to see how much she gets!
Look, I can see how this can seem abrasive to some people. At first, I was very judgy-wudgy (someone...name that reference!) but then...
I realized some of my judgement came from jealousy! Why didn't I think of this and do it myself!! It seems like it is actually working which makes me even madder (not at her, at me for not thinking of it!).
So, tacky, not tacky, whatever. You can anonymously get free money. If we're really, seriously being honest with ourselves...who wouldn't take free money. Come on now...
What MrsSpitzer said!
Honestly, People have asked for free money for worse things. Yes, i think she should have tried to figure out how to have a wedding she could be happy wiht on a budget she could afford. but now shes goign to build a name for herself on top of getting her wedding (partially) paid for. Who knows. You may be seeing her with a budget wedding show on bravo this time next year. I only wish i had though of it first. T*cky, yeah. But in the long term it could really work out for her. My family would have been proud (for real. they love marketing. and this my dear Bees is marketing!)
Though if you look, Paypal has shut down her account. hmm... where will she go from here?
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I agree there's no harm in it, and if a stranger who loves weddings wants to give her money for chivari chairs or the surf-and-turf entree, to each their own. But what really got my goat reading her blog was her dismissive, unkind attitude towards weddings she considers "cheap" (i.e. around $20,000). Apparently, if you serve chicken or have a brunch reception, you might as well not get married at all. (I'm not having a brunch reception, but I wanted one! Who doesn't love stuffed French toast and mimosas?) If that's not what she wants, she's entitled to her preference, but did she have to be so nasty about simple weddings in order to justify her search for donations?
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I can think of better ways for me to spend a few bucks, but I thought it was kind of amusing/interesting. I mean, I would never do it myself, but it is an interesting social experiment. And only people who want to donate will donate. Is it really any worse than a Today show wedding?
I wonder how much she has made so far.
I'm partial on this one.
I've heard of a bride asking for gift donations prior to the wedding. I thought it was somewhat tacky but no one thought it was appalling. Asking for donations of a buck or two doesnt' seem that bad though - it's kind of funny!
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Nope, no way. In my opinion if you need to ask for donations you should cut back your wedding. The only reason FI and I are even having a big (to us) wedding is because his parents are giving us the same amount as they gave their daughter for her wedding and we were told to use it as we please. FI & I actually talked about why our wedding became bigger - I told him when I said I'd go to the courthouse it was because that's all we could afford to do, now we can afford to do more so why not?
I wouldn't be offended by her tactics but I wouldn't donate & I wouldn't go. I'd rather give my $ to Cancer research or something!
I have to admit that I think its pretty funny. Do I plan to give her any money?? hell no. I can find far better uses for my money and when I'm feeling charitable, I donate to a worthy cause. But see thats just it, no one is compelled to donate and those that do probably see the humor and dare I say, genius, in the whole idea. If I'm being perfectly honest, I'm a bit jealous that I didn't have the b*lls to do it myself. I'm definitely interested in seeing how she does.
do you all remember that chick who auctioned off a spot in her wedding to be a bridesmaid on ebay?
she got national attention and even had a big sponsor for her wedding... it was tacky in my opinion but damn was it smart too....
Yikes. I think that website is totally inappropriate. I can't imagine asking for handouts for a wedding- maybe a sick relative or victim of a natural disaster, maybe even a college education, but a wedding?!
I don't think it's clever or genius. If it was, she wouldn't be anonymous! I think the fact that she reveals nothing about herself (other than her love of Desperate Housewives) says something.
If this behavior was funny/clever/acceptable, she wouldn't be ashamed to be associated with it.
A good rule of thumb is- "If I don't want my mom/dad/FI/pastor/relevant moral authority to know about it, I probably shouldn't be doing it."
Also- Do we even know it's really a broke bride? Could be a complete scam to bilk people out of money.
I think its smart. Its not like she is breaking ettiquette by asking personal friends and family for donations, she is taking advantage of the digital age and trying soemthing new. She said it is an experiment. I'm interested to see how it goes.
If people don't want to donate they don't have to, people who do donate are doing so willingly.
@Sansseirf - I also thought they shut down her PayPal account... but if you scroll tot he top of the page, there's a big PayPal button and that takes you right to her donation site. I wonder how much she has raised.....
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@rosychicklet
"Also- Do we even know it's really a broke bride? Could be a complete scam to bilk people out of money. "
So, I've been keeping away from this thread because I've been trying to keep my mouth shut.
But. Oh. My. God. Gullibly, that thought never crossed my mind. That would be horrific. Yikes. Okay that's all I'm going to say about that because I feel very strongly about this. 
@<font size="2" color="#81a026">dorsay</font>: I was going to post that one up to! I had found it a while ago. I can't decide how I feel about it. I'm personaly wouldn't do it, but they are getting a lot of free money (and taking probably a lot of comments along with it). I just wonder who, exactly, is donating?
I think she remained anonymous because she knew what she is doing is controversial. That was smart of her. She's not like Octomom with paparazzi outside her house bugging her about it! I would want to stay anonymous too, just look at the comments here (in one of the most positive board sites on the net!). People are judgy-wudgy and mean and there might be some stalker out there who wants to ruin her big day! Maybe she'll go public after the wedding. In any case, when I first read this I was like "GAH NO!" But now I'm thinking people give Octamom money, why not this girl? There are a million useless causes out there. At least she's not selling her virginity on ebay to raise money for college. Ew.
The outrage over this is cracking me up! I'm just not clear why so many people are upset by what she is doing.
I don't see the few bucks I gave as comparible to the donations I make to charitable organizations (which I do quite often). When I give to a charity, I give a decent amount.
I mean, if I was walking down Michigan Ave and I saw a girl in a wedding dress with a basket asking for money for her wedding. I would die laughing and then give 5 bucks. I don't know, that's just me. I wouldn't do it myself, but I don't see any harm.
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