Post # 1
My fiance and I wanted to make a charity donation as a favour to our guests, instead of having something tacky like jordan almonds or a shot glass. His youngest sister has Cerebral Palsy, my Mother battled Breast Cancer, my sister Cervical Cancer and PCOS with myself, so we wanted to use the money we would have spent on favours, and donate it to these charities.
I just need help with wording for the card we will put on the table. I was thinking something along the lines of : “In Lieu of favours, Stefanie and Fraser have made a Donation to (Charity) in your name” [and maybe a different charity for each table?]
Does anyone have any other ideas for wording the cards? Should we just do one charity? or two? or all them listed?
Post # 3
I love the idea of doing a different charity for each table. There are so many great ones. I think the wording is good!
Post # 4
I also love that you are doing this! And I agree with you no one really needs Jordan almonds or shot glasses
Post # 5
I was going to do this, and I got flamed because some people felt making a donation was not something that should be “announced”.. like it was braggy. I certainly did not agree… but in the end we ended up making an annon. donation or two. Just as a heads up. Personally, I think it’s a great idea. Who needs nick nacks?
Post # 6
I have mixed feelings on this. I feel donations should be made but they should not be announced. Also, I feel strongly against “Donating to X in your name.” There are some charaties that aren’t as good as people think (Susan G Komen immediately springs into mind, Red Cross, Salvation Army, I can go on.) that I would not want my name “associated” with.
If you want to donate money to charity instead of favors, that’s cool. Go ahead and do it. Just leave out the “In your name” because like I said, there are a lot of charities I want nothing to do with. Just say that donations to charity have been made.
Post # 7
I think you should make those donations on your own time and keep quiet about it at your wedding unless it comes up in conversation. You don’t need to tell people how you spent your money instead of getting them a favor.
You wouldn’t tell them, “We got our cat’s flea medicine instead of upgrading to top-shelf whisky” or “We are going to eat a really nice dinner this week instead of getting your invitation calligraphed” because they don’t need to know, right? So why do they need to know you’re making a donation instead of spending money on favors?
Post # 9
I know you’re not doing it to brag, but donations are one of those things that is better left unspoken, unless it comes up. You’re still making a difference regardless of it you tell people or don’t (and that is all that matters).
And as a PP said, there are certain charities that I DO NOT want my name associated with! So if you ARE going to announce it, certainly cut out the “in your name” part.
(Honestly, could you imagine donating money to PETA in the name of someone who is an active hunter/fisher? How awkward would that be for them? No, it is better not to associate people’s names to things that you are doing FOR them.)
Post # 10
@GamersBride: I feel incredibly strongly about PETA. I would not hesitate to leave a function (regardless of what it is or who it is for) if someone “Donated in my name” to PETA. Just as an example, anyway.
Post # 11
@Hyperventilate: Exactly! People feel STRONGLY about all types of “charities”. PETA is an obvious one (for me at least, because I feel strongly about it too… like you.), but who knows what people think of different charities, which is why, if you’re going to donate, it is best to leave it as limited as possible. Heck, I am sure threre are people that disagree with donating to charities period!
Post # 12
I think maybe one small sign, somewhere, explaining that you decided that much as favours are fun you decided to skip them to donate to something you felt strongly about. I wouldn’t say instead, or in your name. That’s about as far as I would go with it personally. Or even, instead of saying instead of favours, just say “some of the wedding budget”.
Post # 13
Hmm, alot of mixed feelings…something to think about. Like I said in my first post, these charities would be close to the family, (as everyone knows his sister has cerebral palsy). I definatly wasnt doing to it be braggy at all, i didnt even think that it counted as braggy? I work for Family and Childrens Services, so I know just how much a donation can change the how an association or charity could benifit from it. I didnt realise there were so many “Negative” charites.
Definatly something to think about…
Post # 14
If you don’t want to do a favor, don’t do a favor. (Frankly I agree with you on the almonds and shot glasses). You are under no obligation to give your guests a favor, so you do not need to explain why you have chosen not to give a favor.
If you would rather the money to your favorite causes, donate the money.
But, you don’t need to tell your guests what you have done. At no other time do we go around announcing the charitable donations we have given, so why do it at a wedding? That’s what raises the spectre of bragging.
Many guests do not want money given in their name to certain charities.
You are the ones who will get the tax receipt, so it’s a bit deceptive to pretend the money was given in my name.
Post # 15
@StefanieJay89: You do you girl! Only you know your guest well enough and I bet they would love a donation instead of something like a picture frame 🙂
Post # 16
In lieu of guest favors, bride’s name and groom’s name have chosen to support causes close to their hearts. Thank you for supporting us as we support them.
Do leave out the “donation in your name”. I worked in non-profit for a number of years and handled countless “in honor” donations. No one ever actually donates using their guest’s names. It’s always a group donation in honor of the Smith wedding or whatnot. The “in your name” thing is misleading.