Post # 1
Inspired by the thread asking what people would enjoy as guest favors!
Personally I’m fine with no favors when I’m a guest, but I don’t want our guests to feel like they should have gotten them and we didn’t do it…
An idea I saw in a magazine and liked was making a donation in honor of your guests (not like their individual names but as a whole) in lieu of traditional favors.
So instead of a favor there would be like a note explaining in a nicely-phrased way, and letting them check a box specifying between a couple of choices of charities that FI and I have been involved in and support. Then we’d tally them up after the wedding and make a donation of a few dollars per person to these charities.
Would you appreciate this as a guest?
Post # 3
I love the idea of letting your guests choose the charity!!
Post # 4
Giving a donation to your charity of choice is still not a gift to your guests. In fact it is kind of the opposite. Just don’t do favours and privately donate the money you were going to use for them to a charity of your choice.
Or even better if giving to charity is so important to the bride and groom why not instead of flowers and centrepieces or a cake or wedding jewellery or professional hair and make up or professional photography or fancy cars that noone sees give that money to charity instead. It seems like brides and grooms always think this is a good idea since they are not physically missing out but suggest that they skip something and it suddenly becomes a stupid idea.
Post # 5
I love the idea, my cousin did that and I enjoyed it. I didn’t need anything else to bring home and I liked the idea of the donation.
Post # 6
I personally am not a fan of donation instead of favor, I would prefer no favor. I’ve never missed a favor anyhow. To me, charitable donations are very personal and so many charities I’m sickened by what they do with the money. So, IMO, it’s best to skip the favors and give privately, in your own name and without the public fanfare, to a charity.
Post # 7
@PromiseRooster: Yes, but ONLY if you have charities that are not controversial. Local animal rescue or a cancer foundation would be good, PETA or anything religious would be bad. (For myself.)
Post # 8
Charity donation favors are not my favorite – however, I do like the idea of giving guest choices. If one were to go the charity route, that’s the way to do it!
Post # 9
@Fizzy8: Charities you think wouldn’t be controversial still can be. Cancer Society is disliked by some, not because they are pro-cancer, but because they spend too much on research and little on helping people who have cancer. Donate an animal to a family in a developing nation. Sounds great, right? Well the animals often end up be slaughtered, because it costs more then it’s producing. Yet lives its short life starving to death, cause they can’t feed it.
There really are no “safe” charities.
There is no donating in a guests honour. The guest doesn’t get anything. The couple gets the tax benefit.
It’s also bragging. Look at me, I donated to an organization I like. If it really means something then give a portion of your gifts, and don’t tell anyone.
Post # 10
@PromiseRooster: no. don’t. stupid idea. hate it.
If you want to donate to a charity, donate to a charity. Please for the love of god don’t attempt to tie that action to a present you didn’t give to me.
And for the record, I don’t want a “favor.” They are usually tacky, useless things.
Well, you asked.
Post # 11
Agree 100% with @andielovesj: and Reply # 8
Not a fan for various reasons given.
I don’t like the idea of someone making a GIFT ON MY BEHALF for anything… when no one actually consulted me.
That is presumptuous to say the least… snooty to say the most (or bragging as previously mentioned)
Want to do something for a particular charity… then do it for yourself, don’t involve me at all.
I don’t need a Favour at all … just skip it.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I don’t get people who would rather “NO FAVOR!” Are you offended when the grocery store donates 5 cents if you don’t use a bag? Why actively discourage donations to a good cause?
I like the idea of letting your guests choose (so it’s not a single forced donation), and certainly don’t do anything controversial / religious / obnoxious.
Post # 13
I’m not a fan of this trend. Charitable donations shouldn’t be advertised like that in my opinion. I also don’t see how it is a “favor” to your guests. Personally, I’d rather have no favor than a donation and continue to choose which charities get my money and “in my honor.”
Post # 14
@lolot: The grocery store isn’t pretending it’s for me. It’s the condition under which a donation is made by them. It’s not in lieu of anything.
It’s not about stopping donations, it’s about not doing it in my name. I don’t want you buying a goat for milk in my name. I know what happens to that poor goat. Not all charities are “good”. Even one’s you’d think no one has a problem with.
Post # 15
I was at a wedding where the bride and groom had told the guests they would donate to a charity on behalf of the guests however, they never did. I don’t need a favor but I also do not need to be lied to – if they didn’t want to do favors, they should have just skipped it.
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@andielovesj: Yeah, it really is in your name at the grocery store. They say, “You didn’t use a bag. So we’ll donate 5 cents to charity in lieu of you using that bag.” Sometimes you can choose which charity out of a choice of few. I’ve never heard of anyone being offended by that…. Money for a good cause, how offensive.
But I see that being offended by this practice is fairly common, so I assume the OP has figured out the answer to her question. Each to their own.