Donations is lieu of favors?

posted 2 years ago in Favors
Post # 2
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You will get a fair amount of negative feedback on this.  I really would just skip favors – in this day and age, they are not expected.

Post # 3
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

shorebride105:  I personally don’t see the need for favors, unless it’s something edible and delicious.  If you want to make a donation, I don’t understand why you would need to announce it to your guests; simply make the donation and skip the favors altogether.  The only time I would think it would be necessary to announce something like this is if you were asking your guests to make donations in lieu of gifts.

Post # 4
Member
1478 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I haven’t done this, but just wanted to add that it’s really not an idea that I can get behind.  If you aren’t sure about favors, I think it’s better to have nothing than to donate in guests’ names.  

Why don’t I like it?  Because it acts as if you’re doing the guests a favor, but it’s really not.  Some people donate their money.  Many more should.  But, it’s not really for you to decide.  It’s a nice gesture to make a donation if you so choose, but to put it under the guise of being “a favor for the guests” just changes things.  They don’t get the satisfaction of knowing they made a difference in the cause, because they really didn’t choose it.  

Also, there are times when you could donate to a cause or organization that they don’t support.  Lots of non-profits have religious or political undertones.  I personally donate to a religious-based community nonprofit (even though I’m not that religion), animal rights organizations, and a few others.  I know people who would be guests at my wedding who wouldn’t support those.  Then I’d be left trying to find a “generic” nonprofit to placate most people, which would make it less meaningful. 

If you choose to do it, I’d just be careful of what you choose, or better yet, let guests “vote” on a few different options.  That would give them a little more of a say, and would make them feel more like they’re getting something out of it.

Post # 5
Member
287 posts
Helper bee

Honestly, I think your best bet for a favour that isn’t breakable and won’t get left behind is something edible. I’ve been to a few weddings where the favours were very expensive looking decorative plates or framed pictures of the bride and groom and although they looked like they cost a lot for the couple… what exactly and I supposed to do with them?

I once attended a wedding where the favour was a nice little thing of tea which I thought was cute. It was too big for my purse though so I left it on the table while dancing and when I came back at the end of the night the bridesmaids had already collected it as “left behind” and tossed it in the trash.

Something edible will most likely be eaten during the evening. If not, it doesn’t need to be thrown away. You can give the leftovers to your Bridal Party to take home or to someone with kids.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  mohbestie.
Post # 7
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

shorebride105:  I actually think it’s a great idea.  I went to a wedding where there was a nice card at the place setting saying a donation had been made to one of the local animal shelters.  It was the first time I’d seen that and thought it was really nice.  I knew the bride was a big animal person and it was something meaningful to her.  Definitely better than some cheapy POS that’s going to get thrown out!  I’m thinking of doing that myself!  

Post # 8
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it isn’t edible, i dont want it. 

I dont have an issue with donations. I have been to weddings where they have a nice card (sometimes from the charity) which explains the donation. Alot of the time its to a place that means something to the couple. I would rather that then some tacky bookmark or something with your name on it. 

Post # 9
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

shorebride105:  Hi! I got married in May and skipped favors altogether and didn’t think twice about it. It would’ve been a waste of money and it seems the only thing that really works anymore is something edible, and its not needed. You gave them a nice dinner,open bar and dancing, they are satisfied! I promise you no one will go home thinking “MAN, if I had gotten a coozy or magnet with their names on it, now THAT would’ve made the night so much better.” haha

However, we did have a large dessert table with cupcakes, pie, cookies, choc covered pretezels, fudge, etc. So, really those were the favors. I left to go bags there so people could take stuff home if they wanted. Even if we didnt have this, I still would’ve just skipped them.

As for the donation thing, I don’t think its necessary. I’ve been more than cool with it as a guest when I’ve seen it, I thought “oh good… they didnt waste money on something dumb I don’t want.” But, it didn’t really matter to me either way, that might sound bad, but I mean, it was a nice gesture sure, but its not something I felt was NEEDED in replacement. And with this….some people are uptight and get offended by which you choose and that something was chosen for them, blah blah blah.

So, I’d say skip both things and don’t worry or think about it again!

Post # 10
Member
715 posts
Busy bee

shorebride105:  I don’t care much for favors. In my opinion you can totally skip them – or do a donation to a cause you support… as a guest i would totally support you in the choice on a donation to the charity that’s important to you and FI. I think it’s a wonderful guesture on a day filled with joy still give some back to a good cause. Go for it. 

Post # 11
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

we are donating to teh american cancer society and with the donation they send you as many scrolls as you need in the design you want. We got one for each plate.100% do it!!

Post # 12
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

shorebride105:  We’re doing this and thankfully none of our guests are so uptight that they would be offended lol.

My OH’s uncle died of lung cancer 8 years ago, about 6 months into our relationship. It means a lot to my OH and his family that we remember him, in a subtle way. Cancer has also touched the lives of many of our other guests. So, our favours will be pin badges from Cancer Research UK: glittery hearts designed by Jenny Packham for the women; and ribbons with a blue crystal for the men. I’m sure many won’t wear them, but some certainly will. We’re making a donation of £3/$5 for each badge.

I’m also planning on giving a few chocolates or one big truffle so that guests also have an edible favour.

I felt anything else was a waste of time or money TBH.

Post # 13
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

For the bees that are donating, wouldn’t it be better for the foundation/organization you’re donating to just to give them the financial aid and ask for nothing in return?  That way they could use 100% of your funds for their cause.  Printing up little cards/letters/etc would actually cut into the funds being donated.  Even printing up the cards yourselves could be more money donated to whatever cause; unless of course you’re looking for some sort of recognition from your guests/friends/family or for decor purposes.

Post # 14
Member
613 posts
Busy bee

shorebride105:  I have been to 2 weddings where the bride and groom made donations and we plan on doing the same. I feel if Im going to spend money on favors I would rather it go towards a good cause or skip them completely.

FI and I have lost all of our grandparents to cancer. So in memory of them we are making a donation to the American Cancer Society. We are going to have lots of pictures of them and Im making a sign that will read “For those Lost but never forgotten… A donation has been made to the American cancer society”

Post # 15
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

housebee:  We’re printing the cards ourselves. The reason we decided to get the badges is two-fold: it means that guests have something tangible to keep if they choose, and it also means that those who want to can wear them. It will mean a lot to my OH’s family to see people wearing them, almost like his uncle is there even though he’s not.

However we are donating above their suggested donation. I did call them too to make sure that they make enough profit from them as otherwise we’d just have donated cash; they assured me that they do (I guess they’re pretty cheap to manufacture, maybe 50p if that)

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