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You are not too young. Everyone likes to opine on stuff that's none of their business. There will always be people telling you everything under the sun. Gotta filter out the bad advice and only listen to people who are supportive.
So so rude. The thought that gets me through this is that YOU know that YOU have something special. Too bad for that nay-sayer that she (or he) hasn't found this. Perhaps when she changes her outlook to a more positive one, she will be able to find it too.
I know what you mean! I'll be 25 when I'm married, and our relationship will be about as long as yours too. Too bad ageism isn't as frowned-upon in our society as racism and sexism are.
Don't feel bad. It's not an age thing. Everyone said the same thing to me too, and I was getting married at 26 after four years of being together. My SIL got married at 29 and heard the SAME thing. I don't know what people are thinking...like you're just going to rip the ring off right there and cancel the wedding? Yeah right. Just ignore those people. Or point out how unhappy they are in their own life that they can't just be happy for you and yours!
Thanks for all the supportive words! I hate feeling like I have to defend my relationship, especially to strangers. I'm glad other people can relate. I'll just tell them to shove off next time! :)
I know what you mean! I am 23 and have been with FI for over 5 years. So many people tell me I am dumb for getting married. Some of my older relatives look at me like I am throwing my whole life away. Someone even said "Don't you have any aspirations?" Uh WTF? Both FI and I have our B.S and I fifnished beauty school. We are also going enroll in Grad school the semester after the wedding...so I don't see where the "no aspirations" comment applies!
Really? Both my FI and I will be 25 when we get married, and I haven't had anyone say anything about my age. More like "it's about time already!" since we've been dating for over 7 years.
Ummm yeah... when we got married at the JP our two witnesses (supposedly our really good friends) said "well you're stuck with her now... no sex anymore dude" and then his wife said "don't forget... you can still get this annulled for 24 hours". I was like ehhhh okay, you two are for sure not coming to the big ceremony in October. Who knows what they hell yall would come up with!
People are just weird :/
I got married at 22, and am still married to the man of my dreams after almost 30 years!!! When you know it's right -just smile and nod. And Congratulations! :)
From the people who actually know and love us, we do get a lot of "It's about time" and "Finally!" So I don't take it too much to heart when it's mostly strangers that are being negative. Its just annoying.
I know what you mean! FI and I have been together since high school. So that means that we have been together for 8 years this October and we have been living together for 4 years and we have been engaged for 2 years. I say that they can kiss my butt.
I'm not sure it's an age thing... I mean, I'm 39 and *several* people told me "don't do it". I've known him for 7.5 yrs and we've been living together for 7 yrs and yet they say "don't do it". I don't know why they do it *shrug*
LOL You sound exactly like me! I have also wondered whatever happened to a "congratulations!". I had a lot of people give that reaction, who knew nothing about me or our relationship. I think that people just have such a negative outlook on marriage nowadays, but it is still most definitely rude for them to react this way. Apparently they think they're being helpful, I just think they sound like asses though.
Take note of anyone who says "don't do it" these are the people who shouldn't be in your life. If they are in your family, well, just keep your distance and set a clear boundary that their opions should be kept to themselves.
Wow thats rude! I don't think 24 is too young - we'll be 25 when we get married!
I'm not sure it's an age thing either; I think a lot of people are just down on marriage.
I didn't really think of it that way, but that really is true. A lot of people are marriage downers! No matter what your situation, some people will always be against it.
O my gosh! I am getting the same exact thing from every random person who asks about my ring! Its like really? you dont know me, my FI or our families. I too will be 24 on our wedding day and we will have a 2+ year engagement so I am always stunned to see people react as if we are running down the isle a week into everything. So sorry you are going through this as well, I completely understand how you feel. I have honestly heard 'dont do it' more than I have congrats
Um, thats ridiculous. I think its rude regardless, but 24 isn't that young to be getting married anyway.
Its funny how everyone will say 24 is too young, my mum was 19 when she was married (nearly 40 years ago) and my dad was 21. And at the time, it was the social norm at least here in Australia.
I fell pregnant with my first child when I was 27. I actually had the ultrasound confirming the pregnancy on my 27th birthday. And my Mum was sad, and my Dad flipped out giving me the time to grow up and be responsible speech. And it wasn't because I wasn't married, it was because they felt I was too young. To me they reacted as though I was 16 and telling them......and I wanted to remind them that my mother had a 6 month old child at her 21st birthday!!!
I will be married when I am 31 (currently 29), and i almost feel to old to be a full on bride. I always imagined I would be married by the time I was 26, but it didnt happen that way. And the funny thing is that while I am starting to feel to old to be a bride, firends I went to school with are still busy partying it up and having one night stands. They work to travel, and arent interested in making a home or a family, and long term relationships are far from their minds.
I actually keep running to the mother of a girl I was close to in high school. She has gotten over the fact that her daughter will probably never to get married, but she can't let go of being upset about the grand children her only child still hasn't given here. She looks at me pregnant with my 2nd and gets upset, and asks me to call her and tell her how wonderful and fulfilling kids are, I tell her i will. But I never call because I know this girl is to interested in partying and going on cruises and children aren't even on her radar.
So it really does depend on the couple and where they are in their lives and in their level of maturity! Don't let them get you down, They obviously don't understand where the two of you are in your life together :)
I'm sorry you had to deal with people like that! I will be 22 when I'm married and my family couldn't be happier. Some of my co-workers (especially the guys) thought that I was WAY too young.
The only other problem I came across was my future sister-in-law. When we told her we were having a year and a half engagement her comment was "why are you getting married so quickly?" Most of the people I know plan a wedding in a year two at the most!
They told me the same thing and I'm 38. People just like to rain in the cheerios of happy people!
I had my co-workers say this to me. They knew how old I was and how old my husband was. Granted, we didn't date all that long before we got married, that doesn't mean that ALL couples are doomed from wedding day. I had only known my husband a year on the day his proposed then a little over a month later we were married.
Why are you worried what complete strangers say? Ignore them! It isn't like you have to deal with them after that moment.
Please say that to me all the time and I will be 25 by the wedding date, turn 26 a week later, and the FI is 29. I had one guy even say to me "Ugh, don't get married. It will ruin your relationship. I give it three years." I actually laughed at him and said "Just because you fail at marriage doesn't mean everybody does." He got SO angry and left the bar we were in.
I don't give much thought to negative people. It doesn't matter if they are negative to me, to themselves, or what the subject is. If you are a negative person you don't have any room in my life.
I never really understood the grievances of young brides (having been one myself)...why do you care what strangers say to you?!?!?! They obviously have ZERO manners!! Basically, they suck =] Set them straight. You don't have to put up with that.
Yes I had people tell me, "don't do it" but people will ALWAYS tell you don't do it! I was 23; been there, done that. I had a coworker sit me down and tell me why not to get married. I just thought, "what a crazy man". And let's face it, everybody has a crazy divorce story from a family or friend.
But you know, i have only had nothing but congrats from people who notice i'm married and ask how long i've been married. I have not heard a SINGLE negative thing since i've gotten those wedding bands on.
Always keep in mind that there are some people that don't mind giving their own opinion without thinking and considering others feelings. In any situation you can find something that didn't work out for someone. Tuning them out will save you stress.
We are in our late 20s and we get it all the time too. Not for the age reasons, but you would not believe how many people will hear you're engaged and start citing stats on divorce and infidelity. It grosses me out. Just say congratulations!!!
Trust me, it's not only an age thing! I was 27 when I got married and people still said that to me. I think that b/c they aren't happy where they are, or bad things happened to their marriage, they think they can impose that on your happy time. Just let it roll off your back. Thank them for their "advice," but let them know you won't be taking it.
I have heard that too! It is so annoying! I will be 25 and he will be 24 when we get married. I also get that from people when I say I want a bunch of kids - which I don't normally tell complete strangers... Clearly, these people have issues.
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I can't even tell you how many complete strangers upon finding out I'm engaged say something along the lines of "DON'T DO IT!" Soon they follow up with a story about their cousins-best-friend's-neighbor who got married at my age and it ended in an UGLY divorce.
FYI I will be 24 on my wedding day. We have been in a happy, committed relationship for 3 years. Our engagement will be 15 months long on top of that! I am by no means rushing anything! We are both out of school and living on our own. It just blows my mind that people who know nothing about me, FI, or our relationship will give this type of advice. What ever happened to a simple "Congratulations!"