Post # 1
Hey everyone! Just wondering if any of you get slammed with the lovely comments I do. We’re getting married in a little over two weeks (eek!!) and I dont know if my patience is wearing thin, but I’m gettiing a little tired of some rude comments.
So far, I’ve noticed this mostly happens in the work place. I have a group of ladies somewhat older than me (i’m 26, they’re around 40-60 years old) who will have snarky comments for me regarding my engagement. We got engaged last May, and at first everyone was nice about it. But throughout the months, If the wedding ever gets brought up, I’ll get the occasional “DONT DO IT!” then everyone laughs. Sure I know they’re joking, but as the months passed I’d hear more and more. Don’t do it…what are you, crazy?…when’s your funeral, oops i mean wedding. There was even a time when we were outside the building talking to a lady from a different company (who works in the same building) and one of them said, oh she’s engaged and she just looked at me and said ‘oh geez, WHY?” One lady went as far to ask me when my last day of work was before I took time off for the wedding, and said she was going to hang a sign in front of the building saying “DONT DO IT! ITS NOT WORTH IT!”
Some of these women have been divorced before (but remarried) and one is in the process of a divorce (the one with the sign comment), but the others have all been married for 20+ years. I know they’re joking (I think) but is it really necessary to make comments like that during one of the happiest times of my life?? I’m not one of those people that constantly talks about the wedding either…I’m a pretty quiet/shy person and I don’t really feel the need to blab about my personal life at work unless people ask. So it’s not like I’m talking about it so much that they feel the need to quiet me or something.
Don’t get me wrong, their comments do not sway me or bother me in the slightest. It’s more at the point now when I think “i’m getting married in 2 WEEKS, that’s enough!” Not everyone at my work is like this, and I know their comments are rude, but I do know they’re teasing me and I don’t think they’re malicious people. It’s just ANNOYING!
Just venting…don’t really need advice 🙂 Anyone else been through this?
Post # 3
FI and I have dated for 6 years, so a lot of people have asked “WHY???”…since we’ve waited so long anyway.
I usually smile, say “For the tax break” and move on.
Post # 4
Wow. I’m sorry you have to put up with that. 🙁 Even if they are joking, that kind of joke can be very tiresome after a while.
Post # 5
wow, that’s obnoxious! I mean, I know that people think they’re being funny, but still…
Post # 6
I think they are just bitter or just trying to be funny.
Post # 7
I think they are trying to be funny….. its just not going over so well .. UGH MissMaryC I think that is even worse !!
Post # 8
@lindz629: OMG, I totally know what you’re talking about. Every once in awhile someone will say that to me or my FI, the whole “Don’t do it!!” schpeel. Or I’ll hear coworkers joking about how marriage is terrible and never works. It totally annoys me. I even heard an acquaintance say “Being married is for Uglies” I’m like WTF? I think the people that say that kind of stuff have their own deep rooted insecurities.
Post # 9
Geez, have any of these people heard of beating a dead horse? If anybody pulled that with me I’d probably respond with something like, “Heh heh…that was funny the first hundred times but as I’m getting married in two weeks, maybe it’s time to put that tired old joke to bed.”
Post # 10
UGH! I have ALWAYS hated when people say this!! It is usually from people who have had failed marriages. I want to tell them, “Sorry that your marriage didn’t work out, but I have a great relationship with my FI and we know we will have a wonderful marriage, so keep your comments to yourself.”
Post # 11
Yeah, I hate when people do that. You’re right they’re probably joking, but is it necessary?
Take comfort in the fact that it’s just people trying to sound “funny”. I bet that the majority of those women, if pulled aside and given the choice to divorce without recourse, would never choose it. It’s just one of those stupid cliche things to say nowadays.
Post # 12
omg. if someone told me “being married is for uglies” i think i’d have to blurt out “well then why aren’t you married?” (if they’re single)
Post # 13
@MissMaryMc: LOL I know, the kicker to that story is that the girl who said that is DIVORCED.
Post # 14
If this is to sound funny, they need a new joke. I’m tired of hearing it, especially when my FI and I are out as a couple and guys nag him about losing his manhood. Really? It just makes me upset.
Post # 15
I was at my brother’s party the other day, he’s in his 30s and about half of his friends are married happily. The other half are pretty cynical. This girl kept telling me how she was engaged and broke it off because love doesn’t last forever. I wanted to smack her.
Post # 16
heh… I was told by my CPA to NOT get married because I wouldn’t get as much back on my tax return!!!! ummmm… sorry, but I’m gonna marry him and if you don’t like it, tough! (best part: she’s married!!!!)
I’d say there’s some resentment going on. especially if they’ve been divorced or going through a divorce. not everyone who remarries is happy in their new marriage (hence why some people divorce 2, 3….4 times, lol).
you’ve got WAY more patients than I do (and way nicer, too!) I’d have told ’em to shut it loooong ago! LOL!