(Closed) Don’t even know my brothers address to send an invite.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

🙁

I get that his GF is a source of contention between you and your parents and brother. But the fact that he reached out for you for DD is a great sign. I would just text him! Say “hey, what the heck is your address??!! I need to send your wedding invite!”. I know you’re wary but it sounds like he loves you.

Post # 4
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

@.twist.: I completely understand. My sister and I had a nasty blowout in January of 2010, and havent talked much since. Ive tried several times to reach out to her and start over, only be to screemed at, hung up on, etc. Even after all this, I miss her. Ive said in other posts that the thought of her not being my MOH kills me, but at this point I dont even know if she would come to the wedding.

I want to invite her, to keep peace but also because I do love her. But I am so hurt at the way she has treated me and the things she has said, that I dont know if I want her to even celebrate with us. But like you, I dont know her address to send an invite. And she only lives 30 minutes away.

Post # 6
Member
2027 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@.twist.: My family has been through something very similar to this involving my older sister and her ex boyfriend. I won’t get into it, but there were almost 3 years that she had almost no contact with any of our family. Luckily, she did reach out to me during this time, but I can’t say I wasn’t disgusted by her actions against my mother and it did (at the time) damage our relationship. 

That was over 7 years ago, and my sister finally got rid of him and reconnected with my family, but it took time for everyone to heal. My parents are extremely forgiving people, and I truly feel my sister is horrified by her actions, so things are very much back to normal now. She still has issues with dating men who are crap, but at least she has learned the value of her family. 

All I can say is continue to reach out when you can and make sure you let him know you love him and miss him. He is a grown man, and while he make crappy choices in women, he may finally wise up and will need his family there to support him. It is really all you can do. I’ll be thinking about you!

Post # 9
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. I hope eventually your brother will see what his gf has done to your family and his life. Often when someone is in a relationship with someone manipulative, then don’t even realize it. I agree with PP about just sending him a text message and reaching out. Maybe this wedding will be a point of healing for your family. Celebrations are great times to start fresh.

Post # 10
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@.twist.: Can you text your brother for his mailing address or look it up on Google or Yahoo Yellow Pages? I think sending the invitation would be the right thing for you to do, and you can look back knowing you made the right move. Whether he attends or not is up to him, but at least you reached out and were willing to start fresh with him. Hang in there, lady!

Post # 12
Member
2053 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@.twist.: *hugs* Yes, I think I would put an “and guest.” As shitty as she’s been, you are showing that you are being welcoming, fully, especially to your brother, despite your disapproval of who she is and what she’s said/done. Your action of inviting him *and* her is very powerful. If they attend and pull anything at the wedding, sick your venue’s coordinator on them and just have them removed as you would any disruptive guest.

You just inspired me to email my eldest brother who had a falling out with my parents and eventually, his whole family, years ago. I asked for his mailing address. Will keep ya posted on my results, too! Ha! 😉

Post # 13
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@.twist.: I would invite the GF out of respect for your brother. Seeing how she is, she may even decline. I know it sucks, but I would invite her. Otherwise, you’re opening another can of worms, you know? Hell, being the bigger person and say she freaks out and says no way! We can’t afford it! Your brother might start to see her for who she really is.

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