(Closed) don’t know how to handle FMIL and invitations

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

If you can, I’d bundle the invites together as much as possible.  Since the Rehearsal Dinner is so small, maybe just add an enclosure card to the formal invites and ask that guests RSVP directly to Future Mother-In-Law by phone.

For the Out of Town party do a separate invite – maybe just a postcard, and have people RSVP through the website.

Either way, make the headcount FMIL’s job.  Make sure she has the contact numbers for all the various guests and have them work with her to RSVP.

Post # 4
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Future In-Laws are hosting the rehearsal dinner and the Out of Town party afterward? Then they are in charge of the invitations and RSVPS for both of those parties. You shouldn’t even be having to deal with this at all. Just give her a guest list with addresses and say “have fun!” As far as when they should go out, any time after you have sent out the formal invitations is fine.  Also, I would not put any information on the website about events that not all guests are invited to.

Hope it works out well.

Post # 6
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Bundle, bundle, bundle. And I fully agree with teaandtoast, make getting the RSVPs for the parties the FMIL’s job. Like you said, you have enough to do with getting RSVPs for the wedding!

Post # 7
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I agree with LittlestBirds! Just make sure that your future mother in law has all of the addresses that she needs and then let her handle the invitations and the rsvps for the rehearsal dinner.

In regards to the out of town cocktail party that’s going to take place after the rehearsal dinner, wait until you have received responses for all of the out of town guests who are planning to attend your wedding.

Forward those names and address to your Future Mother-In-Law and then from there have her send out the invitations to her cocktail party.

Post # 10
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I would have your Future Mother-In-Law pick out a few invitation styles and you can look over them and choose a style you both like best.  Then let her deal with sending them out and getting the RSVPs.  Since you aren’t hosting the party, it’s not your responsibility.  Obviously, help her as much as possible, but just explain that you don’t want anyone to think the Rehearsal Dinner or Out of Town party is an afterthought and would like to have seperate invites for them, but you are so busy with other things, can she do those invites?  Since she seems excited about it, I would think she wouldn’t mind helping with the invites.

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