- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Hi bees, something’s got me really upset. 🙁
I’m having a real issue with my FI’s brother, also his best man.
He is always nice to my face, and then goes behind my back and says things to my FI like “Are you sure…” “I don’t want you to make a mistake” “She wears the pants” “I’ve seen some concerns” “I’ve seen some red flags…” etc.
Now he’s also gone around to our friends saying ” I have to talk to my brother about this…” to the point that friends are saying “good or bad, this is happening”
It makes me so upset, and more than that – I don’t even understand! My FI and I have a great relationship, and I’ve definitely never done anything to deserve this!
This has been going on basically since we got engaged, and my FI has tried many times to talk to him, he’s literally sat him down over beers and asked him to be supportive. But he has to defend me as ‘this is the woman I love’, and I think it’s completely ridiculous that it’s come to that! …I’m a great girl! So it doesn’t even make sense to me.
He did it again last night, and now we are only 4 months away from being married, and I’m at the point where enough is enough. But he only says these things behind my back, so I can never confront him directly. My FI now is so angry about it, and he’s ready to kick him out of the wedding, but I said no, because that will only make things worse and we will be the ones to suffer.
I don’t know what to do. When my FI defends me, his brother says, “ok man, if you’re happy, I’m happy..whatever, no more from me…” – and I feel like that is the most backhanded way of a ‘compliment’ – so insulting to me!
I don’t think this is any way for a best man to act, so unsupportive, and I fear that even up until the night before he will be basically telling my FI to back out and filling his head with negatives.
I can’t stand how 2 faced he is, so nice to my face, and then says this stuff to my FI. I feel like it’s all so fake and makes me feel so…I don’t know. I don’t deserve this.