Post # 1
**** do not read, if death upsets you!****
just before xmas me and bf where talking about buying our 1st home together, he was so excited, and then after thinking about it i decided that i would want to be married 1st, so i told him. and he didnt say no. i was round at his parents house for dinner a few days before xmas and he mentioned to his family that we where discussing marriage!!! he told his pareents 🙂 but then just b4 xmas …. bfs friend committed suiside. I feel so upset for him, i tried to comfort him and it worked for a few days, but know i feel as though he is pushing me away a little, not much. I feel like i want to make the upsetness go away, and i cant! ! i just want everything to go back to the way things where. I miss his friend too ( we kind of share the same circle of mates) what can i do to make things better for him?
i dont expect you to give me some big way of making everything better, i just dont have anyone to talk t about it, as everyone here knows the man who commited suicide, so dont really want to bring it up in front of them.
sorry about the pointless post
Post # 3
@lucy_smith: aw *hugs*
I think you’re doing the right thing, but everyone grieves in their own way. I know it’s hard, but him pushing you away really isn’t anything to do with you. Don’t push him, and just be there – trust me, he appreciates it.
I am sure that once he starts feeling a bit better (it’ll take time) you will get back on the marriage track again.
He probably feels some guilt too, like that he could have prevented it if he saw the signs etc. so make sure you tell him that there’s nothing he could have done (especially if he brings it up).
Post # 4
@lucy_smith: Aw! Having lost my dad (but not to suicide) I can say that it’s just to take time. You’ll notice when life kind of resumes back to normal for him. Until then, try not to mention any more marriage stuff – it will come.
I remember not even wanting to be intiate with my fiance (now H) for about a month at least. We had some very unsettling secrets revealed about my dad so it really took some time to process that all too.
H and I got married about 3 months after the wedding (eloped) – I’d say life was pretty much back to normal for me before that – but I know everyone is different.
I still mourned my dad – don’t get me wrong – but that feeling of walking in a fog, the sadness, no motivation, the desire to tell everyone you know what happened took a couple months.
Just offer your ear, ask him if he wants to talk, maybe just hold him a little too.