(Closed) Don't let your (and others!) expectations get the best of you!

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

me and my fiance had discussed getting married for months before he proposed and every holiday that passed my friends would say this is it!! and get my hopes up, and every time it did sting a little, even though i knew it wouldnt happen. just keep thinking even if it isnt THIS weekend, that when it does happen it will be amazing. if you keep reminding yourself that it will make it easier!

Post # 4
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Happy early Birthday!  It seems you’ve got a very level head about this which is great.

The thing is, you and your SO have talked about it and you know you’re going to get married one day. The engagement will be amazing of course but it doesn’t matter if it’s this weekend or 6 months from now. You know it’s going to happen one day so just enjoy your birthday weekend with the man you love.

Post # 5
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@pocketfox:  This may sound really silly, but can you try to convince yourself that you dont want the proposal for your birthday? Just try to make up silly excuses

Post # 6
4524 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@pocketfox:  After 2 years of “what if this is it??” days followed by the “aww, bummer”s, it’s almost become kind of a game I play with myself with no hard feelings when it doesnt happen.


Case-in-point: leading up to my 25th birthday this year, people had me all excited he might do it (even thought I knew he wouldnt).  The day of I was at work and called him at lunch.  He told me “I DO have a suprise for you, but it’s not a ring.  I just dont want you to get your hopes up and be bummed.”


I was MORE bummed that he told me! At this point, like I said, it’s become kind of a fun thing in my head where wonder and when it doesnt happen I just say “ok, maybe next time.”


I think it’s fine to get excited, just try to shift your paradigm a little bit when it doesnt happen 🙂

Post # 7
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Go into it assuming he is absolutely 100% not proposing. No what ifs. Just no. He will propose one day but it’s not going to be this birthday.


If it happens – an awesome surprise, if it doesn’t, no biggie since you didn’t expect it!

Post # 8
715 posts
Busy bee

It’s very hard! I understand! After a year together my boyfriend booked me a trip to Paris for my birthday. We live in the uk so not that far. i knew in my head we were nowhere near that stage, but ppl kept saying it to me before the trip about getting engaged. i have to admit a little % of me began to think it might! I’ve also had 2 more surprise trips with upgrades to suites! Each time I got the nudges and the winks and the ” you’d better get your nails done” comments! And each time no proposal! after one of the trips I said it to my boyfriend. he was like so I can’t do anything nice for you without you thinking I’m going to proPose?!. That kinda knocked sense into me. I let key head rule for the next surprise trip! Enjoy your trip away and think of it for what it is! 

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