Don't like DH's facial hair :(

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Haha I can’t help you here because I am an absolute slavemaster when it comes to facial hair. DH is in the military so he has to shave clean every day … but over long weekends he often takes a break from shaving and by day 3 and 4, he gets quite prickly. I won’t even let him kiss me when his face gets like that. It dries my vagina up like nothing else in this world. And DH knows it … so I figure, as long as he understands that him letting his facial hair grow = he doesn’t get any physical affection for me, then I guess the choice is in his hands! He keeps saying that when he gets out of the Army he’s going to grow a huge beard. I say, bring it on. I bet I can go a lot longer without kissing/sex than he can Tongue Out

Post # 4
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice but I wanted to sympathize with you!

My FI is in his late 20’s but could easily pass for his early 20’s – his facial hair is there and all over but it is not full.  He inisits on having a terribly awful and wild beard (if you can call it that) its not long at all but its very sparse all over so I just think it looks (awful, terrible I know).

Everytime I bring it up he gets rather defensive and says the same thing “I dont criticize your appearance”. I just know how attractive he is and I really think his facial hair detracts from it.  I told him that I agree he looks better with some facial hair rather than clean shaven but he needs to control it like shave under his jaw line etc. I finally got him to tell me I could trim and shave it to what I thought would look good tonight after I give him a haircut.  The reason he is letting me is because he feels I don’t have an motive (aka we have no where to go/nothing important coming up).

So sorry I am of NO help but I just wanted to tell you I have been dealing with it for years too!

Post # 5
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ughh… My FI loves to push my buttons. One of my hottest buttons is his hair. He likes to let it grow out to a messy, homeless looking rats nest. I think it’s unattractive and embarrassing. Every time he decides he will grow it out, the rage fills me. But there isn’t a damn thing I can do or say to make him cut it. Thankfully he has been keeping it short, but I know he will want to grow it again eventually.

Some men don’t care how they look to other people; they like it so they do it. From my experience, the more you complain about it.. the longer he will rock the soul patch.

I know it sucks, but there isn’t much you can do 🙁

Post # 6
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@iarebridezilla:  I tend to do this too… I am so un attracted to FI when he grows out his hair it makes me sick. I know I must sound so shallow but common! Ya look homeless that way! We have had many an argument over it. I wish my FI was as willing as your DH to maintain his appearance.

Post # 7
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Soul patches really do just look silly. I told FI, either have hair or don’t. If you’re going to grow out your facial hair, actually grow out the beard/mustache. None of this silly stuff. If you’re only gonna have a speck of facial hair, get rid of all of it. He’s currently got a nice goatee/mustache combo.

Post # 8
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Artificial-Sweetener:  haha I don’t know if I’d call him willing to shave it — more just required by military regulations!! They are only allowed to grow mustaches, which of course they all did when they were out in the field judging candidates for their expert field medical badges last year. He was gone for six weeks, just before our wedding … and when he first walked in the door after I hadn’t seen him for that long, I just looked at him and said “I’m not even hugging you until that thing is gone. You look like a child rapist.” Shallow, sure, but I can’t help what makes my vagina dry and my husband should be interested in avoiding that!! Wink

And of course, the “shave that mustache right this goddamned minute” story is one of our favorites, haha.

Post # 9
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@EastMeetsBarn:  Soul patches make grown men look like idiot teenagers, or provincial French farmers.  People (myself being one of them) will take him less seriously for having it.  You could try telling him that.

Post # 10
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

…sorry, I actually prefer Mr. 99 with a bushy goatee and stubble…something must be wrong with me…or I have rhino skin on my face…I love it

Post # 11
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@EastMeetsBarn:  aww, I definitely feel your pain.  SO and I started dating in October, so within a month of us dating I had to try and deal with his Movember moustache, and it looked so silly (it was for a good cause though, so I didn’t mind putting up with the patchy, tickly thing for a few weeks).  

Then it got worse in December because he decided to try mutton chops like Wolverine from the X-men!  I kept hinting that I wasn’t really a fan, but that I wouldn’t force the issue because it was his face and not mine.  Ultimately, he had to shave it off for his job, so his employer solved the issue for me 🙂

 

SO usually sports the full beard or the 5 o’clock shadow, and I love it (tbh, he kind of looks like a 15 year-old if he’s got no facial hair- and he agrees ha ha).  Eventually when he’s running his business from home he wants to grow an even fuller beard, like Gimli the dwarf from the Lord of the Rings, and I’m thinking “Oh, good grief”.  Men- they like to take things to the extreme sometimes…

Post # 12
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Maybe shave your legs and let the hair grow out for a couple days.  Smile  See if he likes prickly skin.

Post # 13
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Soul patches make men look like utter buffoons!

My DH has a beard. He keeps it neatly trimmed because otherwise he looks like a second rate Pirate or one of the minor Old Testament prophets. I like the beard. But neither he nor I can understand the sort of facial hair that needs nearly as much attention as being clean shaven and looks Very Silly. 

Post # 15
Member
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Nona99:  I actually love when FI has a goatee too… Makes him more hunkier. But the hair on his head? He looks like a homeless clown on methamphetamine when he grows it out. Ick!

Post # 16
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

FI is constantly growing a beard out – and I hate it. I don’t hate how it looks (it’s actually kinda sexy to me), but I HATE how it feels. So I just tell him. All. The. Time. And then he’ll shave it, and keep it shaved, usually until he hangs out with his stupid bros from college who equate beard growth with peen size or something stupid.

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