Post # 1
So I recently found out FSIL (fiance brother’s girlfriend – yes, I realize she isn’t my sister-in-law yet but by the looks of things she will be one day) has been jealous of me because FI parents like me better than her. It has been such a hard thing to deal with knowing that someone acts all nice to your face and then talks behind your back when you leave the room. I’m just so sick of her and thought I was rid of her for good (they broke up) but now their back on! I feel like this is such a terrible thing that could happen in the midst of this stressful wedding planning- having to deal with her! Worst part of it is I was planning on having my other FSIL in the bridal party but not with this girl back (FI family is very fair so if I include one, I have to include the other). Thoughts? Any similiar experiences? Its so hard for girls to get along sometimes and when your forced to it just makes things worst.
Post # 3
Too bad you didn’t already ask the other FSIL while the other was out of the picture! lol! Not sure what to tell you, but I definitely DO empathize. I have only 1:3 that I like. 🙁
Post # 4
Your wedding isn’t for a while yet, so I would hold off asking anyone for now. I would wait; just because they might break up again and then you would have your chance to ask the other one. Also, things may change in the next few months. She may change. You might want to have a talk with her to find out why she feels this way. You could take her out to lunch and ask her why she has these feeling toward you.
Post # 5
Thanks Ladies, some great advice!
It just gets to me so much and FI keeps telling me to relax and that the situation could change again in my favour but I just have this feeling that it won’t since nothing ever goes my way!
Post # 6
When I was dating my ex BF, we had been together for over a year and I wasn’t included as a BM and all the other SO’s of his brothers were. I’m sure it’s because the bride didn’t like me! We also didn’t really know each other.
Post # 7
Just curious, when you say you’d like to have your other SIL, is this another brother’s girlfriend, or your FI’s actual sister? I think there is a difference, if she’s his sister. (I think you could ask her.) But if she’s the girlfriend of his brother, I agree with you.
Post # 8
This girl will never actually be your SIL. She is not your FI’s sister, but HIS sister in law. I think you have no obligation to ask her to be in your wedding. Even if the other girl you are asking is another SIL to your FI and not a sister she is still technically just a friend to you and someone you feel close to, you are not reqired to treat his brothers’ significant others exactly the same.
Post # 9
@moderndaisy… I totally understand what your saying which is why I can’t just include one and not the other…unless the other one is gone (could happen because their one of those on again off again couples)
@ Tanya… she is my fiance’s other brother’s girlfriend (exact same position as the other SIL) which is why it would be rude and unacceptable to include one and not the other.
@Moose… I think a SIL is someone who can be blood related (FI’s sister) or by marriage (FI’s brother’s wife).
Post # 10
Wow I totally understand. My fiance has 7 brothers and sisters and 6 of them are married, most have ~3-5 kids. Obviously, I’m not going to like everyone. I did ask my fiance’s sister to be a BM cause I felt closest to her. I didn’t ask his other sisters because they are married (my BM is single). I think that’s fair.
I don’t really believe in the whole, you ask so-and-so, so you have to ask so-and-so thing. So for me, I think you should just ask who you want to ask (people will complain no matter rwhat you do).
From experience, it’s SUPER frustrating having to deal with people’s drama WHILE planning a wedding. Especially with female in laws (there’s always some competition with some of them). So, just do your best to not let her get to you and just move on. Be loving, caring, accepting, but remember you don’t have to neccessarily bring people into your inner circle and make them your best friends just because you feel you have to.
Post # 11
I can’t stand my FSIL either. She’s horrible, and hates me because FIL like me much better than they like her. Of course, I’m not trying to marry her youngest son so he can take care of my 2 other children and suck his bank account dry all while living with her parents.
I don’t have kids. I have my own job. I have my own place to live… She doesn’t like me for that reason. She also hates the fact that I have a college degree, and she never finished high school…
We can’t pick our in laws can we? But boy it would be nice…
Post # 12
um her wedding is in 3 months she does not have plenty of time!! and when she posted this it was 4 months away do u know how long it takes for bridemaid dresses to come in sometimes?? u have no time… make up ur mind and hopefully if u dont include her, his family will get over it. just say she is rude and talks about u and u dont want her in it. end of story and who knows they might be broken up again then ull really be outta luck. its ur day do what u want.