Post # 1
I’m not engaged yet, but this last weekend, SO’s mom passed down his grandma’s ring to him. She had me look at it first, and I was super polite. But, I don’t like it.
Please don’t flame me. I’m honored, really, to be getting his grandmother’s ring. Really. But, it’s NOT my taste. My taste is really a round brilliant (1ct). I like bling. This ring has TINY little diamonds in an illusion setting. The ring is worn so thin, I know I’ll have to re-enforce it. I’m wondering if I can use it as a wedding band, but not engagement ring. Can I get an engagement ring as the center of focus and use this with it? What would that look like?
Post # 2
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
itsmle: Since the band isn’t in very good shape, why not have the diamonds re-set into a new ring? That way it’s still a family piece, but with your stamp on it as well
Post # 3
That’s an engagement ring, so I’m not sure how it would work as a wedding band. Buy your own 1 carat if that is your priority.
Post # 4
itsmle: How does your SO feel about it? Is it important to him that you wear her ring? He might be open to choosing a new ring with you, and making your own tradition.
Post # 5
He’s totally open about doing whatever I want with it. Surprisingly, so is his mom. I don’t really want to dismantle the whole thing, but I can.
Post # 6
Is your FI aware of what you actually like? Does he have the means to get you what you want? Id have a conversation with him about grandmas ring and see how he feels about not proposing with that ring. tell him its very pretty and that youd be honored but its not your style. it will make a very nice right hand ring!
Post # 7
I know you don’t like it, but it’s a lovely ring. I want an antique illusion setting ring as a RHR one day. If you do a quick forum search, you’ll find other women on here with vintage rings like that.
Post # 8
I’m sure it sounded snotty of me to say that I want 1 ct. But, this is my second marriage. My first wedding set was BEAUTIFUL! I still love it! Anyways, the center stone was .95, and I just wanted this one bigger (.96 even).
Post # 9
itsmle: I would definitely not take it apart. If you dont want it, it should absolutely stay in the family.
Post # 10
Are you into three stone rings at all? Why not use the center diamond in another ring. Still grandma’s stone, but made new. Past, present and future! Do you have to use this ring? Can you maybe keep it and just buy a new ring? You have lots of options!
Post # 11
itsmle: I have a VERY similar ring – and at first I was a bit taken back by how small it was. The way I am making it appear more “blingy” is by adding an ring guard/wrap/enhancer, whatever you call it (so diamond wedding bands on both sides) that make it look awesome AND sparkly. I totally know how you are feeling – I always thought I’d have a bigger ring and envy girls with the big sparklers!
But – now I see how important it is to his family that I wear this ring and it really is pretty and I love telling everyone the story about how it’s 75 years old! I think thats so cool. That said – mine is in really good shape so maybe you need to have it reset if it’s in poor condition?
Post # 12
Thats a very lovely little deco ring. I am totally a bling girl, so I have my classic tiffany style solitare which is great and all, but it does not have the history of an old ring which I really love. On days when I don’t want to wear a large stone, I actually wear my great great grandmother’s wedding band, this ring has been passed down through the women in my family and it is very important to me. It’s such a nice setting, can you try to set a larger stone in the antique ring? That would really be beautiful.
Post # 13
itsmle: They’re not pressuring you to love it, whew. That is good. Now for the ring. It is lovely, but if it’s not your style… You should get something you LOVE.
I would get my own new ring, but wear that as a RHR if it’s ok with everyone… If his mom wants to keep it since you’ll be choosing a different engagement ring, that’s ok too. It really is lovely, but I’d want my own (like you, bigger) diamond. But I would wear that one too, on my other hand. That’s how I would phrase it too. “It’s so pretty, but I really have my heart set on (x)… I would still wear it sometimes, but if you would like to keep it for yourself for now that would be absolutely understandable. We could pass it on to our kids. :)”
Post # 14
i also have stones from FI’s grandmother’s ring. we took the stones and had them reset. is it my dream ring? nope. is it anything like i thought i wanted? nope. is it as big as i wanted? nope. do i love it? yep. the quality of the stones are better than what i could have gotten for our budget. and i have a piece of his family’s history.
sometimes, you just have to deal with what you get. unless he’s willing to drop a bunch of money on your dream ring. cause 1ct diamonds aren’t cheap. just saying.
Post # 15
If both of them are open to you doing whatever you want to it, the first step I would take is to say that you are so honored to have a family heirloom that you don’t want to make any rash decisions. Tell your fiance you would probably like to reset it into a pendant (and keep the original setting for nostalgia’s sake) because there isn’t a way to reset all the stones into a ring style that would do them justice. In other words, find the nicest possible way to say you are honored to be given a family heirloom and that you respect it deeply, but that you want your own ring.