- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I know I’m in the minority here, but I don’t drink alcohol and I don’t enjoy dancing. I don’t drink because, well, I just don’t enjoy it. I don’t enjoy the taste and I don’t enjoy the way it makes me feel. It doesn’t enhance my experiences; it just makes me feel crappy. I don’t like dancing because I’m introverted and self-conscious and it makes me uncomfortable to be doing something that I think makes me look stupid when other people can see me. Oh, and I like to sleep at night and be awake during the day. Not drinking and dancing all night allows me to have an entire weekend free to run, hike, eat, shop, cook, see friends, garden, do so many things that I wouldn’t do if I was hungover or super tired, and I find those daytime activities far more enjoyable than dancing and drinking in the dark.
So needless to say, a late-night bachelorette party focused on drinking and dancing would not be my cup of tea. I have gone to plenty of these and happily, politely played along. But it’s not what I would want for a party in my honor.
When well-meaning friends asked me if they could throw me a bachelorette party I responded that yes they could and that I very much appreciated that offer. Then I reminded them that it would likely not be a traditional bachelorette party as I don’t enjoy drinking or dancing.
They looked at me like I had two heads.
I reminded them of the million other things we could do besides drinking and dancing (go for a hike or bike ride on one of the gorgeous, fabulous trails in the area, go to a day spa, go sailing or rafting, have a picnic, go camping, have a slumber party, do a dessert crawl, eat a nice meal, do a scavenger hunt, see a good show…all things I’d remember way more fondly than some dark club) and it still didn’t compute. Really? Is it that hard to imagine having fun that doesn’t include alcohol, dancing, and being in the dark? Is sober daytime really that bad?
I just politely changed the subject but I really wanted to say “please don’t throw me a party I won’t enjoy.”
And the thing is, I’m following my own advice here. I am spending a pretty penny on alcohol and a DJ for our wedding because those are things that my fiance and our guests enjoy. If it were up to me I wouldn’t have them at my wedding, but I care about my fiance and our guests having a good time, and people seem to think they need booze and dancing to have a good time (because apparently visitng with loved ones, witnessing a lifetime committment, and eating a fantastic meal aren’t good enough?).
So if I’m gonna spend thousands on alcohol and dancing so that my guests will have a good time at the wedding, why is it too much to ask that a bachelorette party be sober and during the day?