Post # 1
In June my Fiance and I will be getting married and I an sooo excited. We both have 2 kids each from previous marriages(mine 7b, 14g and his 8b,15b). We are currently living together and his youngest comes over ever weekend. The issue that I am having is that his son is a very picky eater and my kids are not. I am very big on veggies and eating (atleast tasting) all your food, but he and his ex do things differently. When I cook he either goes out to buy him something different from what I cooked and makes him something very unhealthy (poptart, ect)to soothe him. I have tried to bring this conversation up several time and it always end in an arguement. Recently I told him that his son need to eat before or after my kids because I do not want my kids feeling that they can pick and choose their meals. So Now every weekend we are both on pins and needle due to this issue.
Has anyone else ever experience this before and can give some pointers?
Post # 3
I think you need to come to a compramise and if you can’t reach it yourselves (and you have tried) I think you’ll need to solicit help from elsewhere. This could blow up into the hugest problem you both have if you can’t find an equal ground. Kids turn into devils (see supernanny) when their parents are on different pages. I think you somehow need to get on the same page…
Post # 4
Sorry, I have no realistic advice. If I were in your position, I’d stick to my guns. He eats separately or he eats what you cook. He doesnt want it? Fine, starve until he does feels like eating. He should not be the one calling the shots, he’s should be listening to his parents. And I agree with vmec, you guys need to be on the same page, and your Fiance should be wanting his kid to eat well, not just shove him some crap to shut up him.
Post # 5
I agree with vmec. You guys need to get on the same page. My stepson (he’s just 5 but a smart little man) is a big proponent of “Weeeelllll this doesn’t fly at Mommy’s house, but maybe it will here!” and vice versa. For instance, last weekend we were going to make sandwiches and I offered chicken, bacon, and veggies. He wanted bacon and mustard. I said no, he got MAD and told me he wasn’t a “fan of chicken.” Well considering I had watched him eat chicken the day before for lunch, I called his bluff and wow, don’t piss off a five year old, LOL! Having a kid who’s a picky eater has to be the most impossible thing, I completely know where you’re coming from, especially with the pins and needles around mealtimes.
Separating the kids though makes it more like a punishment for all of your kids and doesn’t really enforce the “family unit” that’s so important with blended families. When my stepson complained that he didn’t like x, y, or z, my response quickly became “I’m not a restaurant. This is what we’re eating for dinner. You can eat it, or you can go to bed without it.” He went to bed once without eating and quickly learned we weren’t bluffing. The habits your stepkids are picking up about unhealthy eating are ones hopefully you guys can change, you don’t want to set them up for failure down the road. Your SO has to be open to compromising though and to start teaching his kids to try new foods and eat healthy.
Post # 6
yes I totally agree we both needs to get on the same page and I am trying so hard to get there but it seem impossible. Eating seperately is not to punish or belittle him at all, but who am I to enforce eating habits when 2 biological parents dont see the need to. When the kids eats together and he start his ” I dont eat” sessions, his father gives excuses such as thats how my ex is and excuses him from the table.
I know that there isnt any easy solution and that we are both going to have to work on this isuue, thanks guys for your feedback