- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Hi bees, I’m going to open up to you all about something very personal that I’ve only really addressed with my FI and no one else. I’d love to hear your thoughts and see if anyone feels similarly so I don’t feel so crazy/alone.
Since I was young literally everyone in my life has impressed upon me the importance of establishing myself in a stable career. I grew up assuming I would go to college and earn at least a Master’s degree because that’s what was expected of me. However, when I started working in my chosen career this year (teaching) and started my graduate degree, I realized how little having a career appeals to me. All my life I’ve just wanted to be a SAHM and since FI and I got engaged that urge has only become stronger.
Many of my friends would probably be shocked by this because they are all extremely career-focused and ambitious. They will travel anywhere in the world (literally – one best friend is in Germany and the other is applying to schools in Poland) to further their ambitions and have always assumed I was the same. Not only do I lack the wanderlust they seem to exhibit, but I don’t think traveling and working would fulfill me the way it does them.
I am also one of the most liberal, feminist women I know so the fact that I want to be Susie Homemaker probably would not make sense to a lot of people. (Although, I would argue as a feminist that it actually makes MORE sense because feminists advocate that all women deserve to do whatever they want with their lives as long as it’s what they freely choose for themselves, but I digress…)
I’m on break from my teaching job right now and instead of feeling rejuvinated like everyone has told me I would feel, I am dreading going back to work. Everyone has told me I am a great teacher, but my heart isn’t in it. I would rather be taking care of our home and getting ready for babies within the next year as hopefully we will be TTC in 2014.
I have thought about going back to school or changing career paths. I have memorized the degree programs at our local university and community college, but nothing stands out. I keep coming back to what I know in my heart, which is that nothing will fulfill me like taking care of my family and thats what I want to do full time.
So there it is…How I really feel has been officially put into the universe! Thank you, thank you, thank you if you made it this far! Does anyone else also feel like their calling is to be a SAHM? Anyone think I’m a bad feminist? (Just kidding, if you think that, please keep it to yourself.) I’d love to hear kind, encouraging words or thoughtful advice from you, bees!