Don't want flowergirl

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 4
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

No, not at all. Adding children to a wedding creates another logistical mess that involves the little person and their parents.

My husband had several God kids under the age of 5 when we got married. Only one set of parents thought it was odd (and maybe was offended too)I wasn’t including ther kid in our wedding nor having kids at the wedding. Just because you have special little people available to you doesn’t mean you have to use them. Parents shouldn’t assume their kid will be picked as flower girls and ring bearers. Not all brides and grooms want them in a wedding.

Post # 5
15016 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Your still a year or more from having to decide, I would wait to make a final decision. 

Post # 6
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you’re not too close with her, don’t have a flower girl at all. The only way it gets weird is if you do have other kids in your wedding and not her. But if you leave out all the children’s positions (ring bearer, etc) then it’s totally fair and normal.

Post # 7
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

From experience, having a 3-year-old in a wedding is a bad idea.  We had a ring bearer who was that old, and he was a terror.  He wouldn’t walk down the aisle (when he did, he covered his face with the ring box), he wouldn’t pose for pictures, and he kept running behind the pavilion during the wedding ceremony.  It’s one of the few regrets I have about my wedding.

Post # 8
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@butterflybox:  You still have a great deal of time to decide, but my answer is if you don’t want one, don’t have one. MIL’s half sister had a young daughter, and MIL told us to make her FG, and we declined. We had no need for one as we aren’t close enough with any little girls. We just had a ring bearer.

Post # 9
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@butterflybox:  we didn’t have one!  Just skip it entirely.  

Post # 10
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

We had three.  They took up no part of my time and now we have a bond and made 3 little girls feel special.  She’s your FI’s family, why wouldn’t you want her in it?  By your wedding date she’s going to be 5, she won’t be a toddler anymore she’ll be more of a kid, and able to follow directions.   

Post # 11
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If you don’t want her in the wedding don’t have her in the wedding. Kids can be such a hassle and such a mess at beautiful occasions like this. I only have miserable memories of being a flower girl when I was a child. I don’t know why they would be offended if you didn’t ask.

Post # 12
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014


               Its not mean at all. It is your wedding day so if you and your fiance come to an agreement with no flower girl than no flower girl it is.

My finace and i are choosing to have a childless wedding. No flower girl/ring bearer and we are happy with the choice.

You both have to make the decision together and decide what is best. Good Luck!!

Post # 13
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

It isn’t a necessity just a cute addition.

We didn’t have a flower girl. We did have a ring bearer (18 month old nephew, ADORABLE) and a junior BM that accompanied him down the aisle. Seriously, it was over the top cuteness!

Post # 14
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church

@butterflybox:  I wouldn’t make a final decision yet, but you definitely don’t have to have a flower girl if you don’t want one. I might add that if it were me and I knew that it was going to cause drama with the mom/ other family if I didn’t ask her to be a flower girl, I probably would just go ahead and ask her. To me, it’s a little thing, and not worth family drama over.

Post # 16
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

If you don’t want a FG at all just tell him that you guys aren’t having a FG, but if that were the case I wouldn’t have a RB or any other children in the party either. 

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