Post # 1
So my fiance has a niece that is 3 years old. She’s cute and everything, but I’m not great with kids and not sure if she is that keen on me. He suggested that I have her as a flowergirl and I said maybe (at this stage we weren’t planning anything yet). But I don’t really want to have any flowergirls. Do you think this is mean?
Post # 3
@butterflybox: No, just skip the flowergirl.
Post # 4
No, not at all. Adding children to a wedding creates another logistical mess that involves the little person and their parents.
My husband had several God kids under the age of 5 when we got married. Only one set of parents thought it was odd (and maybe was offended too)I wasn’t including ther kid in our wedding nor having kids at the wedding. Just because you have special little people available to you doesn’t mean you have to use them. Parents shouldn’t assume their kid will be picked as flower girls and ring bearers. Not all brides and grooms want them in a wedding.
Post # 5
Your still a year or more from having to decide, I would wait to make a final decision.
Post # 6
If you’re not too close with her, don’t have a flower girl at all. The only way it gets weird is if you do have other kids in your wedding and not her. But if you leave out all the children’s positions (ring bearer, etc) then it’s totally fair and normal.
Post # 7
From experience, having a 3-year-old in a wedding is a bad idea. We had a ring bearer who was that old, and he was a terror. He wouldn’t walk down the aisle (when he did, he covered his face with the ring box), he wouldn’t pose for pictures, and he kept running behind the pavilion during the wedding ceremony. It’s one of the few regrets I have about my wedding.
Post # 8
@butterflybox: You still have a great deal of time to decide, but my answer is if you don’t want one, don’t have one. MIL’s half sister had a young daughter, and MIL told us to make her FG, and we declined. We had no need for one as we aren’t close enough with any little girls. We just had a ring bearer.
Post # 9
@butterflybox: we didn’t have one! Just skip it entirely.
Post # 10
We had three. They took up no part of my time and now we have a bond and made 3 little girls feel special. She’s your FI’s family, why wouldn’t you want her in it? By your wedding date she’s going to be 5, she won’t be a toddler anymore she’ll be more of a kid, and able to follow directions.
Post # 11
If you don’t want her in the wedding don’t have her in the wedding. Kids can be such a hassle and such a mess at beautiful occasions like this. I only have miserable memories of being a flower girl when I was a child. I don’t know why they would be offended if you didn’t ask.
Post # 12
Its not mean at all. It is your wedding day so if you and your fiance come to an agreement with no flower girl than no flower girl it is.
My finace and i are choosing to have a childless wedding. No flower girl/ring bearer and we are happy with the choice.
You both have to make the decision together and decide what is best. Good Luck!!
Post # 13
It isn’t a necessity just a cute addition.
We didn’t have a flower girl. We did have a ring bearer (18 month old nephew, ADORABLE) and a junior BM that accompanied him down the aisle. Seriously, it was over the top cuteness!
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2013 - The front lawn of our church
@butterflybox: I wouldn’t make a final decision yet, but you definitely don’t have to have a flower girl if you don’t want one. I might add that if it were me and I knew that it was going to cause drama with the mom/ other family if I didn’t ask her to be a flower girl, I probably would just go ahead and ask her. To me, it’s a little thing, and not worth family drama over.
Post # 15
Post # 16
If you don’t want a FG at all just tell him that you guys aren’t having a FG, but if that were the case I wouldn’t have a RB or any other children in the party either.