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personally, i always hated everyone shoving me toward the bouquet - especially when until very recently, i didn't even want to get married at all! and there will only be two or three single women at my wedding out of 80 or so
and the garter toss i just would feel so uncomfortable doing that.
what do you guys think?
I'm going to give my throw-away bouquet to the "bride" of the couple who is still on the floor at the end of the anniversary dance. I went to a wedding and really liked that idea (especially since I was one of the only single gals at that wedding two years ago).
don't do it! lots of people skip it.
We had one, but it is super duper common here in the midwest and i tossed it to my notoriously single party girl friend. we all had a big laugh and it was nonchalant and nobody was pushing anybody or being all "aaaah you're single!!!" pointing fingers.
I demanded my husband not do anything foul like put his head up my dress or use his teeth or anything. We were ho-hum, he just grabbed it off my knee. I guess we wanted the traditional junk =]
Don't do them if you don't want to. I don't think they are at all necessary.
We are not doing either. I am the last of my friends to get married -- ha! The only people on the floor would be like, our 16 year old neice. No thank you! But even so, I just don't want to do that. I think you will have lots of company in this decision, people might not even notice.
The last two weddings I went to didn't have either - and they weren't missed :) I didn't even realize there was no bouquet toss until my mom asked who caught it! I'm not having them, I agree with the uncomfortable-ness factor
I'm totally with you. We aren't doing either of them. I don't think anyone will miss it.
I def felt uber uncomfortable with the whole garter thing. But I liked the idea of a bouquet toss, although I knew there wouldn't be too many single ladies at my wedding besides my cousins who were all still in college/high school. But I came across this great idea in a bridal magazine where the bride tossed a bouquet made of "date items" like popcorn, movie theatre tickets, etc. Stuff that you can use to take someone on a date. Then she had single guys AND girls try to catch the bouquet. That way there were more people out there trying to catch it, and what they caught they could actually use for something. So I did a similar thing. I had my florist make a bouquet of just grasses and then I bobby pinned gift cards to Jamba Juice, Starbucks, and 4 movie tickets into the bouquet. It was fun tossing it because it was basically like tossing money, everyone wanted it!
But if you really don't like the idea, then don't do it. It's fairly common now, i think, to forego the bouquet/garter toss. My bro and his wife didn't do either and I didn't notice until I started planning my own wedding :D
i'm not doing it either. it's meaningless to us, so we're not including it.
at scrapsoflife: that's an awesome idea! thanks............i might do something similar.
I'm with you 100%. Neither my fiance nor myself like either of those activities. Therefore, if you don't like it and/or it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. This is YOUR day. Do what you want.
We skipped them too and they definitely werent missed! Skip anything that doesnt feel like "you".
We didn't do it and as many people already have said, it was not missed at all! People were so busy dancing all night long!!! (No bouquet, garter toss = more time to party) It's your wedding, do what you feel is right for you and your fiance. That is what really matters.
I'll be skipping them too, for a lot of the same reasons. I'm having an untraditional wedding altogether with no dancing so I feel like who cares if we give up a few more traditions.
We'll be doing a generation type dance for married couples and whoever has been married the longest will get my bouget.
FI wants to do the garter toss but I really don't want to do it and I don't think we'll end up doing it.
We totally skipped these things and no one mentioned it! We only had a few single people there of each gender, so I thought it would be really awkward.
WE are totally skipping those too!! They are just so outdated and unneccessary!! We are however still having the chicken dance!! That will not be outdated in my eyes! haha!
I just went to my cousin's AWESOME wedding and she didn't do either of those and no one noticed....I'm not doing either one, we're going to do the anniversary dance and I'll present my bouquet to the couple whose been together the longest...I like that tradition much better than putting the spotlight on my single girlfriends...I caught the bouquet once at a friend's wedding and they MADE the guy put the garter on with his teeth while I was sitting in a chair in front of the whole wedding! It was literally THE most embarassing moment of my life... Don't do it if you don't want to, no one will notice at all!!
Definitely not necessary. I'm actually doing the bouquet toss but having all women, not just single come up so no one feels singled out! :)
We're skipping it and giving the bouquet and garter to the last couple standing during the anniversary dance also. :)
we're skipping them both. it feels like singling out the single folks in the crowd. no one's ever really excited about it.
Skipping both. The only people I've ever seen excited for it are under 12 and I don't think they really understand.
We're skipping them! I just really dislike it overall. And seriously, I've had ONE person say: "Oh no! You have to! It's so fun!" Most people really don't miss them at all.
We're not doing it. I think it's outdated, and offensive for a whole list of reasons. If you don't want it, don't do it. Your reasons for skipping it are 100% valid, don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
We did them, but if it's not for you then don't... easy as that :-) your day, your rules... haha
@kara - I'm curious if you are doing the same for the garter toss. I love the idea of having all the women come out for the bouquet toss!
While the anniversary dance is sweet, it always make me sad for the widows/widowers in the crowd.
I recently went to a wedding where they didn't do either and it was noticeably missing - which is why I'd like to do a different twist on it (ie: including everyone)
I'm skipping them also. The boquet toss is just awkward and the garter toss to me is very uncomfortable.
I'm not doing it. Our single guests are either in their 40s & 50s (and have never been married) or are students (mostly high school or college). I think it's humiliating. Fortunately, my photographer is glad too.
YAY! Thanks guys. Totally skipping both (in my mind at least) antiquated traditions.
I was at a wedding once where a 13 year old girl caught the bouquet and a 3 something guy caught the garter. After that, I decided the whole thing was awful. EEYEW!
We are doing neither. My FI does not like the idea & at my first wedding, my bridesmaids ended up wrestling on the floor over the bouquet. It was ugly & uncomfortable! I don't think anyone will miss it. THere are plenty of other traditions you can have at your reception.
We did the bouquet toss but not the garter toss. If you know that there will only be 2-3 single people in the wedding, I think you shouldn't do it. It might be uncomfortable for them to be put in the spotlight. To me, we don't have to follow all traditions. Just those that are appropriate to us ;)
My girlfriend's wedding this past spring she didn't do either one. The reception was really short because of the time taken to eat and do cake. So most of us noticed it because there wasn't much to their party. Had there been more time to dance and socialize I don't think it would have been missed. I'm thinking about tossing my bouqet after we make our Dash to the car. That way anyone can catch it.
Not sure about the garter yet.
Found this online. Interesting tid-bit of history if it is accurate. Some ideas on other things to do instead of a bouqet toss
http://www.hudsonvalleyweddings.com/guide/tossing-the-bouquet.htm
I most definitely will not be doing the bouquet toss or garter throw. I know how much I hated it when I was the only single girl standing out on the dance floor waiting to catch the bouquet, it's so embarassing and I don't want anyone to feel awkward at my wedding. My FI really isn't comfortable with reaching up my dress in front of anyone either, so we're just going to skip it.
I don't think it's that important of a tradition, no one will even notice :)
I think it's way more awkward to do a 'tradition' that makes you uncomfortable than to forego the bouquet and garter toss. I'm all for having a happy wedding in whichever way works for you.
Didn't do it-didn't miss it.
Come to think of it, I haven't been to a wedding in the past 3 years that actually DID do it. I guess it doesn't run as "normal" in our circle of friends. But I think they're a cute tradition and are always a blast to see, like here on Weddingbee. So, if you're not a fan, just skip it. I don't think anyone (save for your traditional grandmother) will notice you didn't do it!
same as Pengy...didn't do it, didn't miss it. If it's not your thing, you don't have to have one.
We also didn't do a "staged exit"....and that's the one thing I would've done in retrospect.
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