Post # 1
Hi bees, just looking to vent.
My family is poor and has additionally been fairly uninvolved in trying to help with wedding plans. We’ve been cutting corners and adding more diy wherever possible and I’m pretty proud of us, but we’re still looking at $15K-$20K (much closer to $15K thankfully)
Anyway, my man’s dad has been bugging us to talk to him about wedding plans and expected costs. After testy talks, we went upstairs to look some things up. In a little while we saw dad again and he took my man aside. He gave him some sound fainancial advice, but additionally said if my family doesn’t come up with more money that they suggested they would give, we shouldn’t worry about it. He would take care of it.
I can’t express how relieved and thankful that makes me. Money has been my biggest worry in relation to this wedding (not that there haven’t been others!). But I counter the news with the fact that my future father in law had a drink before he told my man that.
My FFIL is a recovering alcoholic and it seemed like the talk about wedding and expenses stressed him enormously. I can’t stand the fact that we may have pushed him to drink, however unintentionally.
Alright, vent over.
Post # 3
First off, ((HUGS)) for having to deal with such a tough situation.
That said, I’m surprised when you quoted $15k-$20 for a “cheap” wedding. Granted, NYC is probably a lot different than Minnesota or some of the other locations, but there are TONS of bees who have rockin’ weddings for $5k or less! So having that much to plan with must be extremely exciting!!
Not quite sure if you were venting about FFIL not being sober (therefore, serious) about contributing money to the wedding, or what but please please PLEASE do not feel guilty for the choices he makes. MY FI’s family is the same way – his mom got sick a few weeks ago and he was feeling like it was his fault because we moved across the country – which it isn’t, not at all. Your FFIL is a grown man, he makes 100% of his own decisions, and he can choose to drink or not drink. I hope you and FI don’t feel too burdened by his family’s decisions. Best of luck planning, and keep your chin up – you’re going to have a fabulous wedding!!!
Post # 4
((HUGS)) so glad that he’s coming up with the money, if wedding planning etc is making him want to drink, definitely when you start talking weddings, have some juices or bottles of water around for him. that has to be hard. also, are you in nyc (city portion)? can you perhaps have a wedding outside of the city. there is this great wedding venue in queens where you can have the reception/ceremony site AND they have chivari chairs, it’s quite lovely and cost efficient, especially if you are diy’g a lot of the other things.