Post # 1
…But mom told me that my future MIL told her that she had a “card bag” made for me for the reception. I’ve seen brides use them before. They carry this bag around table to table collecting cards. This is a really old fashioned (and, in my opinion, rude and embarassing) practice, and I don’t want to spend my entire cocktail hour and half of my reception collecting money. I already bought a box I planned on decorating and hanging a “cards” sign inside (saw a lot of this on Pinterest) for the reception and this is what I want to do. How can I tell my Future MIL this in a nice way? I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I’m definitely not carying a bag around all day. And can anyone suggest another way I can use this bag for something else?
Post # 2
Store your make up in it and take it to the restroom with you for touch ups? Or take the bag, carry it to your table, and leave it on the table. If your MIL comes and hands it to you, feign forgetting it and discreetly hand it off to a bridesmaid when your MIL’s back is turned. Or just put a bridesmaid “in charge” of it. Meaning have her carry it around. If your MIL asks where it is, just say “Oh, I gave it to Jane to hold onto because I was taking photos. (You’ll want to let your bridesmaids know beforehand to put it back on your table, of course … or to ditch it near the card box or something!)
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
Can you use it instead of the box? As in, set it up at the reception and forget about it? It seems like the awkward part would be hauling it around like a trick-or-treater begging for money, but if it serves an actual function you’d planned for then it would be fine.
Post # 4
Your option are:
1. Use the bag and be embarrassed,
2. Tell your MIL you don’t like it for cards and use the bag for something else
3. “accidentally” forget it at home on your wedding day
Persoanlly, i would go with 3 to avoid hard feeligns about it
Post # 5
FMIL told your Mom, she didn’t yet tell you, so you don’t know about it. Get the container that you want to use. When FMIL does give it to you, tell her you appreciate the sentiment but you are sorry, you already have plans for the cards and think of an alternate use for the card bag- something not quite so visible.
I’ve never seen one in person (apparently they are also used to collect money in some cultures) but my understanding is they are a satin bag with a tie closure. You could tell her that you are going to use it for the lingerie you take on your honeymoon.
Post # 6
I had a pretty card box all set up, which did get filled but when we did our table visits, people handed us cards because they hadn’t wanted to get up and put the card in the box. After a few tables I had to run over to the box with the cards to deposit the ones I had been given. It might have been nice to have a place to put them other than directly in my hands, just a thought. So my suggestion is to make yourself a pretty card box and most people will use it, but bring the bag along for those people that refuse to put their cards in the box
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema
Pretend you haven’t heard about her plan and show her and gush about your amazing card box!
Post # 8
Great ideas! Thanks so much for the input. I’ll definitely try to use it in some capacity. Luckily, my FMIL isn’t a very strong personality. She’s pretty easy-going so whatever I do with it, I’m sure she’ll let it roll off her back. I’m just hyper aware of people’s feelings getting hurt.
Post # 9
marieburkitt: Just tell her the truth that you already have one, but you’ll try to use it for something else.
Post # 10
lol oh man that would make me feel tacky
Like other Bees have suggested, maybe “forget” it at your head table or at home 🙂