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I think you should let your FI decide whether he wants to invite her and respect whatever decision he makes - I mean - it's his sister, regardless of whether they are in close contact.
I think you should invite her. If she doesn't show up, at least you invited her.
For me, when it comes to immediate family, they're always invited. It would be a HUGE diss if she weren't. That's not just etiquette, that's just being nice to your family.
My husband has a sister that we never see. She's not on good terms with his entire family, and with us (I've nver even met her). he never talks to her, and we invited her. She didn't come, though.
I agree with PrncssDva. I think you should invite her (ONLY if that's what your FI wants. It's his sister) and then the ball is in her court.
I think you should invite her too. There's a difference between siblings being "not close" and being actually estranged. If you still have family events together, it could make things awkward if she's the only member not invited.
If you don't want to deal with the out-of-control kid, don't invite him (that would really only have a shot of working if you're not inviting any children though).
Unfortunately I think you need to invite her. If she comes it is up to her, but she should at least be invited.
@eeh2010 i agree but hes up in the air about it too : /
he'll have to give me an answer before the invitations go out though.
You should invite her. You don't need to invite her child (if you aren't having other children there).
If your FI wants to include her, for whatever reason, you should respect his feelings on that. I don't think it matters that she is his half sibling. It matters that your FI has decided that he wants her there, because she's his sister, even if the two are not close.
The additional bad blood you risk creating by not inviting her isn't really worth excluding her, IMO.
I wouldn't invite her. You can always pull the "it was a really smal wedding" card. Unless, of course, your FI wants her there to avoid drama.
I have to say invite her. I totally dislike my FSIL and I am inviting her to appease the family...
Invite who you want, but I agree with gingerbride - not inviting her could create some bad blood in your FI's family. Only you and your FI know your particular situation, but it does sound like she attends his family's other family functions, which could be really awkward in the future if you don't invite her. Will your FI's parents be hurt if you exclude her? Are you having an adults only reception? If so, you could invite her but not her out of control son, and maybe she'll choose not to come if he's not invited. If you guys aren't close at all, chances are she won't come to your wedding anyway, and if she does rsvp yes, maybe it's because she wants to be more involved in your lives, which could be a positive thing. Good luck with your decision!
You don't HAVE to invite her... but are you prepared for you and your fiance to never speak to her again? That's what you'd be setting yourselves up for. Maybe that's what the two of you want, but don't take it lightly.
Thank you all for your advice
@sillysil that was the plan in the begining : )
@Miss Burgundy Your a trooper I guess we really have to think it over
@owlbride My FI family doesnt really see her themselves even the sisters also its not just an adult wedding but I cannot invite her child hes just outta hand...I mean would it really be bad if i invited her and not her child?.
You can invite whomever you want, but I think not inviting a sibling to a wedding is basically saying, "I don't want you in my life anymore, see you at the next funeral." It is also a very public way of sending that message, so I would expect a lot of blowback from people.
@MeghanV its not like we talk to her anyway. I was talking to my FSIL and she was sitting right there not saying a word just listening and when we were leaving she asks my FI "oh you guys changed your wedding" and he replied no then she said "oh just the location" and he said ya thats the only thing and all she said was "oh".
I'd send her an invite just to say I did it. From what I'm gathering, she wouldn't make an effort to show up anyway. If I'm wrong, then at least you aren't making any extra drama. = )
@His Barista Good point and not to be rude but im hoping she would be a no show : /
invite her---you don't want to live with consequences for the REST of your life, plus it could cause some issues in your marriage later on.
Oooh, that's a tough call. I see your point but as someone else pointed out, there is a difference between them being estranged/not close, and not getting along at all. I don't think it's a big deal to invite her if they merely aren't close.
My FI's sister hates me and has been a vicious, lying biotch to me since day one- but we are still inviting her. I'm permitting her to do a reading in our wedding, too.
She has caused me an enormous amount of pain over the past 2 1/2 yrs but I'm inviting her because it's the "right thing to do," and because I love my FI and my future in-laws. I definitely have no love for her, but I don't have to let her obnoxious behavior change who I am. Just because she's a spiteful b*tch doesn't mean I have to lower myself and be like her.
So the little witch gets the invite, and then after the wedding we send her back on the next plane home where she belongs. haha. ;)
I would definitely invite her. If she chooses not to come, that's perfectly fine, but I think it could end up causing serious drama if you choose not to invite her.
I say invite her, but not her child if it's an adults-only wedding/reception.
@Monkeygirl I cant say im glad you understand because it is a shi**y situation but more so you feel my pain! we did not send her a STD but I guess we'll send her an invitation when the time comes.
Not a tough call, unfortunately. I'm with Gingerbride and MeghanV all the way here... only I'm not just worried 'bout you and FSIL not speaking if you don't invite her but you and FI not speaking! Seriously, this one's up to him, I'm afraid.
I would still invite her. Sorry! She is his sister, half or not (I have half brothers that are my world so I make no distinction there), and it may upset the other members of the family if she's not invited. She may not come, then you all have your way. But, I just think- what happens if they reconcile, they'll both regret her not being there.
I don't think it's a tough call at all--even a "small" wedding doesn't exclude siblings if it's not an elopement!
@ Sept Queen: No worries. You are doing the right thing to invite her. In the end, your actions will show your FI that you love him and that you have integrity. You will look like the class act that you are.
But draw the line with the bratty kid. She can leave the little monster at home.
@JoeBeth12 FI and I would never be on bad terms because of this hes in the same boat right now but i will send her an invite if FI makes up his if he wants her there.
@jennifer_espos I too have half siblings whom I never call that but I was referring to her as the relationship i have with my step sisters that is pretty much non existent im not inviting them so why should we invite her was the point.
Hi. Me again Sep Queen. All I'm really saying is just tread lightly here. My ex-husband's mom was a misery, throughout our engagement and on our wedding day. He was very, very conflicted about his mom. Seemed to be in the same boat as me, but family is family. All in all, this whole thing gave us a lousy send-off into our new lives together, which never helps. There's so much good stuff surrounding you both. Sounds so cotton-candy of me, right? So, if there's any way to just invite her and stay above the "fray" in all of this (I never got into any of it with my former hubby's mom, but I cried and carried on to him, which didn't help either).... believe me, your FI will appreciate your grace through all of it. That's all I meant. And as another bee pointed out, he may yet reconcile with his half-sis at some point.
I kinda go both ways on this because we're in a similar situation. FI did not want to invite his sister because they don't get along well and we were hurt with the way she's handled a few situations lately. However, after discussing it we're just going to be the bigger person and inviite her. If not for anything else it will make his parents feel better that we atleast made the effort. No parent wants to see their children fighting, especially during such a major event.
But with all that being said we did make a choice to not invite my step sister. She's only 17 and lives with my mom and stepdad but will not be welcomed. My parents are not happy with this but we felt it was necessary because of her past and present activities and we don't want to put our guests and their belongs in a potentially bad situation.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that the decision has to be based on the family and the circumstances.. I don't think there's a broad answer to this but I'd say if its just a matter of not being close with her I'd invite her and just pray she doesn't come.
I say invite her .. if she chooses not to come then its on her not you. Then you dont look like the prude she does. plus with it being his family you dont want anything to come around and bite you in the butt.
Thank you all for your advice!
I was going to wait for my FI to come home to see what he wants to do but i'll just make the decision for the both of us and send her an invite when the time comes (even though i dont want to because im stubborn like that) 
I'll be the bigger person in this situation.
You bees are the bestest! : )
I think that's a great chose. If nothing else, it will show others involved what a good person you are. Oh, and I understood your earlier point about the half sister/step-sister thing. My bad for the confusion!
I think that you made a really good decision by inviting her. Let her be the one to decide whether she should attend or not.
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Well bees I thought I had this one in the bag till one of my family members told me "You have to invite his sister thats the etiquette!" and in this case i say screw etiquette. My FI does not talk to his sister she makes no effort to call or invite him/us over pretty much they are not close like him and his other sisters, we only see her at family gatherings and even then its kind of odd i dont treat her like any of my FSIL whom i love because she shows no intrest in me i know she has her own problems but i really dont want someone like that at our wedding and she has no control over her child who does whatever he wants. We are having a intimate wedding with people we truly want there (50 guest) and she was not on the list now FI says maybe we should invite her because she has the title "sister" I told him thats like me inviting my step sisters whom I have no contact with (it is his half sibling btw).
Advice please!!