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How many guests? I'm a photographer based in Hampton Roads so i know a few people up there that I'm friendly with or worked with....
From my own wedding, the catering is what's killing me. If you find a venue that let's you bring your own caterer AND supply your own alcohol it will help a lot. I've found good quality meals for 175 at about $10,900. I'm hoping to cut it down to about $8000. I wouldn't try and scrimp on photography. Guests honestly don't really remember food, flowers, etc. They know they had a good time and you looked great. The only thing you'll have are the images. A great photographer can make daisy's look like an exotic import. My own photographer (who is pretty high end since I care the most about that) did a backyard bbq VERY low budget wedding recently and it's one of my favorites of his! Some of my favorites have been done for WAY way way less that 20 (which is my budget as well.)
Let me know how I can help you... I'm in your same boat :-) I'd love to save as much as possible to put excess other places :-)
In general, as you know, those are the big ticket items. Some general advice:
- Look to non-traditional venues. I know many people can get freaked out over the cost of renting items that a more traditional venue would normally supply, but in my experience it can be a huge moneysaver. Look across the columns for this. For example, we went with a historic community center and have to rent all chairs, tables, linens, plates, etc. The rentals are not cheap. But, by going independent, the venue is $1000 instead of $2400, the price of the traditional spot I considered seriously, and we are saving over $2000 on the bar. Even after rentals, we are saving about $1500 by going independent.
- Photography is tricky, because it is one of those areas where you often get what you pay for. If cutting costs is the main concern, I would consider what you NEED from a photographer, and pay just for that. Do you think candids and two photographers are nice but not necessary? Cut. Do you really just need good posed pictures? Go with someone more traditional, which can be cheaper than the high-end art photographers. I wouldn't skimp too much on experience, though.
- For catering, set a budget and just ask them to meet it. I'm positive that if I went to a caterer and told them what I wanted without naming a budget, it would go over. Instead, I'm not talking to anyone who can't do what I want at the price I want. Period.
My brain is mush right now to come up with some good tips---but have you heard of A Practical Wedding? When I get home I'll try and remember to look up the two or three absolute favorites from that website---I literally had an "Thank goodness!" moment when I read them. That has helped me keep me grounded in my decisions and to realize what I do and don't need to worry about. I have a lot of other great websites if you want to know about them---PM me.
Also, it will help to know how many people you are planning to have and do you have a dress yet?
I didn't want to spend 20k either, but now I'm up to 23k and grwoing! I say try to select a venue with no or little service chare! Mine is 20% and it really adds on; over 2k for me. Also, if you can bring your own alcohol becasue alcohol is super inflated for weddings
You guys are awesome! Thank you so much for the feedback...
@KLP2010 - Thanks for offering to share your vendor finds! My FI is from Williamsburg, VA, and we thought about having our wedding in that area for awhile. We ultimately decided to have it here in Northern VA, but our photographer is still coming from down that way. She's a friend of my FI parents and although she is expensive, it's totally worth every penny (just as you mentioned @monitajb).
@monitajb - I think you're right about looking for a non-traditional venue. We considered the Hendry House in Arlington, VA (a community center type of place) that cost about $2000. However, when we visited Oxon Hill Manor in Maryland, we fell in love. There's no doubt that's where a lot of the cost is stemming from though at about $4000.
Basically, it seems like if we aren't willing to give up our photographer and our venue, that leaves catering which is usually the biggest expense of all. I've thought about having a tapas and horderves reception only, but again, the venue is huge and traditional (meant for a formal dinner).
I think the problem isn't any one of these things in particular, but all of them combined! Looks like if really don't want to spend $20,000 we're going to have to re-evaluate our venue... huh?
@curlysue - I have heard of A Practical Wedding and love it! I'd still be interested in any info that gave you the "ah ha moment" though!
Thanks again guys!
@KIKI82 - I think that's where are big problem is. The venue we've chose is close to $4000 (for the ceremony and reception), but not including any catering costs.
what about newton white mansion for the venue?...also check out st. germaine's catering in vienna...
I used to be an event manager and we always charged about 30-40% more for rentals than what we actually got them for so I'd say go with outside rentals. The alcohol is the same as well 25-40% mark up on that too! We used to have a florist service as well and the same goes for that, pretty much everything is marked up. If they let you bring outside stuff in then price it before you make any choices. The only thing to be careful of is make sure you have someone acting as a day of coordinator if you're not hiring one and have them be on TOP of it. if the rentals are more than 15 minutes late call A LOT!! Also if you're renting anything that needs to be turned on, grills, heathers etc. don't let the rental guys leave without turning all of them on and testing them. Make sure they have all the necessary pieces etc. Also when you're pricing rentals make sure there isn't a fee for picking up and dropping off over and above the norm. A lot of venues don't want rented tables and chairs sitting there the whole weekend and at least here in LA the rentals arrive often the day before and stay the whole weekend. If there's a late night or weekend pick up it might be an additional fee above the normal pick up/drop off fee, Make sure to remember to factor that in when you're weighing your options.
My sisters wedding was huge - over 300 people - she only offered one choice of menu which was delicious and that cut down the cost considerably. She had cheese and fruit stations and only a few passed hors d'ouevres and we all had a blast! To be honest - people seldom remember the food at a wedding - they remember if they had a good time - music and comfort is the most important thing.
My most memorable wedding was in a firehouse with paper plates and plastic cups - hot german potato salad and baked beans and chicken - it was the best time I ever had - it was my brother's wedding and my parent's friends talked about it for years after - how great a time they had
All that is important is the blessings of your friends and family - that is the purpose of a wedding - to shower blessings on the new couple
if you want to save, go for the big stuff - limit the number of guests and your venue location. meal (and alcohol) prices go hand in hand with these two so if you pick a good venue and guest count, you're 80% there to saving lots of money. DIYing stuff is great too, but hit the big ticket items first.
I have to share my catering experience. My FI and I were really frustrated by how much we were being nickeled and dimed by the big catering companies we were talking to. We finally went to a guy our friend's know, he did their wedding and they highly recommended him. He owns a small restaurant, and it does not advertise as a catering company at all. For the same stuff and better we will be saving 2 -3K on the food/alcohol (bringing in our own beer,wine, liquor), and he is way more flexible and fun to work with. It's great - don't rule out the little guys! This did allow us to splurge on photography - I agree with the above posts that this is a priority.
Could you do a brunch instead, or are you tied to an evening wedding? Brunch means less alcohol, and often cheaper menu costs, but can still be wonderfully elegant and make the most of a gorgeous location like yours.
Also, try to CUT things ruthlessly that you don't need. For example, you don't really need save the dates, programs, menus, favors, etc. Nice to have if the extra money is there, but they're not critical. DIY-ing the flowers can definitely help the budget a ton as well. Good luck!
I would say: don't skimp on the photographer or your venue. Those are two big things that will matter the most. The venue choose sets the feel for your entire wedding, and you want it to be memorable for you and your guests. And your photos - well, those are the photos you will be showing your grandchildren, so you want them to be good!
One way to save on the venue though is to have the ceremony and reception in the same location. This is especially true for venues where you have to rent chairs, because this way, you get two uses out of one rental. You could always choose to have the wedding on a Friday or a Sunday, or have it at brunch-time, instead of dinner. (Saves on food and alcohol).
But, every penny counts. Saving $50 on every element adds up quickly. Here's a great article with more tips on cutting down your wedding costs: http://www.ehow.com/how_6033557_lower-wedding-costs.html
You guys all make such great points!!
I've learned so much and I'm already feeling a lot more confident about our budget! I agree with everyone that the photography and the venue should not be messed with!! AGREED! I'm all for that!
I think the real rip offs come from the catering companies so that's where we're going to have to be as frugal as possible. We're going to have to hunt for good, honest, and reliable vendors and hopefully we'll find the right folks.
I think the point about food not being that memorable is so true! We started off our engagement talking about how awesome the food at our wedding had to be, because we're big foodie people, but we're quickly learning wedding food is just that - unless you're bringing in some homemade goodness, or like some of you, snagged an awesome resturant caterer.
Looks like we've got our work cut out for us, but I'm up for the challenge.If anyone else has a caterer they'd like to recommend, I'm all ears!
Thanks @andreaandchinelo for the caterer suggestion. We'll add them to the list of potential picks.
Also, @Cricket1524 @Ngolden1 @kataine thanks for sharing your wedding planning/attending experience. It's so helpful to hear from people who've either worked in this industry or been to a few weddings. I've only been to about 4, is that weird?
We just started talking about brunch as a possibility tonite @jhphi thansk for the excellent idea!
Great article @ravioli
THANKS GIRLS!
I'm also getting married in NoVa this summer! I'm also looking at an ever expanding budget. We were looking at a lot of spots and top on our list was Seneca Lodge, have you looked there? It's very casual but pretty. It's $2200 for a Saturday and that includes the tables/chairs. We ended up deciding on Glen Echo Park because we liked the idea of a fun carnival wedding but if I'd have priced out renting the tables and chairs I would have looked at Seneca much more seriously. We're trying to keep our budget to $12k (doing it on a Sunday morning, fun carnival food for lunch, wine/beer, inexpensive photographer because I don't care too much about photography) but the catering quotes have been huge so far because of the rentals and how much time it will take their staff to set up. I guess what I'm trying to say is to compare apples to apples. Oxon Hill is beautiful and if it includes tables and chairs it might cost you about the same amount as renting a space like Hendry House and then having to set up a tent if you have more than xx guests (you didn't mention what your guest total is).
I found the indiebride post helpful thinking of some different options for vendors/venues in the DC area.
Good luck!
Just wanted to add my two cents - it clearly depends on the people, but for our guests, food absolutely matters more than anything. As a guest, I could care less about the photos and I would only enjoy a beautiful venue if I was physically comfortable (i.e. well fed). I have always read/heard that food is the #1 element of a wedding that guests remember, but as not everyone feels that way above, I would suggest talking to close friends and families to gauge what they care about most.
As another money-saving tip I didn't see above, if you are up for changing your venue, I would consider all-inclusive packages. We found a gorgeous historic mansion that cost as much per person as the caterers we talked to - except it included all rentals, venue fees, cake and a ton of other extras.
Our wedding will be about $15k for 100 adults and a bunch of kids. I'm not diy-ing too much, but it's a sort of diy venue (one venue for ceremony and reception) - table/chair rental is separate, we're buying tablecloths and basic centerpieces, etc. The whole cost will be around $1600. We booked our photographer early ($1700 included all photos on cd and two shooters), but I've since discovered if you go to a bridal show you get lots of coupons because people know it's a tough economy. We also found a great caterer - yes, you can have amazing food and you should! He is willing to work with us to keep costs down - $3100 including all service and tax. We're having a "heavy hors d'oerves" buffet with a couple of salads, several cold dishes, and several hot dishes. That gives us options for vegetarians and every kind of picky eater immaginable. Because it's just him and his wife it's a lot easier than a big impersonal caterer like at a hotel. We're buying our own alcohol - hopefully around $600. I spent $1k on my dress but will resell it right away, so that only sort of counts. Minimal flowers because it's outdoors = $500. Solo guitarist for the ceremony and cocktail hour is cheaper than a quartet ($350).
One helpful idea - find a good budget venue and they will have worked with other budget brides and know the best high quality budget friendly caterers, rental companies, etc. We're having ours at a private house, the owner is so nice and does a lot of weddings so she know how to set up, who does the best food and music and cakes and everything else. She was super excited we're having composting for our compostable plates/flatware and food. She even knew that buying tablecloths at Sam's club was cheaper than the rental company (also a nice mom-and-pop shop - the owner called me personally to arrange rentals). Check weddingwire or google maps for everything from venue to caterer recommendations.
My advice is to look for a venue that includes a lot with its price. The venue we chose is a flat per person rate that includes: use of the venue, all the tables and chairs, linens, flatware, china, brunch buffet, dancefloor & bar. Consider rentals like tents, tables, chairs, etc when you are pricing out venues. It really makes a difference. And consider taxes. We decided to have our wedding in Maryland instead of DC because we'd pay less in taxes.
We went to see a venue in Tysons Corner called the Grand Atrium. They had pretty good prices. You may want to take a look. :-)
seriously look on the outskirts of va and md... like leesburg, or down near fredericksburg.
I was looking seriously around NoVA for a while before i decided to get married at my alma mater in w'burg.
PM me if you want details - i still have a TON of research done on different places. What look and feel are you going for?
Thanks everyone! There's a lot of great advice here and I really appreciate it.
I guess we could take a closer look at Oxon Hill Manor compared to other venues out there (inclusive and not, since both are suggested here), to see whether there is something around here that is less expensive. We definitely did a lot of searching, I made a spreadsheet, and Oxon Hill came in on the lower-end as far as cost, but I'll admit that we didn't look at a lot of "everythings included," places, and that's what I think we're going to have to do now.
Technically, we've already booked Oxon Hill, but that doesn't mean we can't change our minds (although I'd be sad to say goodbye to it). If it means saving a couple thousand dollars, I definitely think I could deal.
My dad suggested that we look at few more inclusive places (where venue and food are paid to the same place). Since he's a big contributor to the budget, we're going to respect his wishes and do some searching.
Thanks for the specific recommendations @sunnydebs I'm checking out Grand Atrium now!
One thing that wasn't mentioned here that my FI and me talked about last night was splitting up the budget so that nobody in particular gets hit with the whole thing. That was one reason we were so afriad of that big number (20k) because we didn't want my dad to feel obligated to pay all of that. My FI mom offered to pay for the photography... at first I wasn't sure how I felt about that, but now, I think anything to spread the love is better than making one person or us foot the whole thing since this day does mean a lot to everyone...
Thanks again guys!!
This came to mind when someone else was asking about local venues recently...have you checked out Whitehall Manor near Leesburg? I went to a nice wedding this summer there and they do an all-inclusive thing...chiavari chairs and all, if I remember correctly. They have garden ceremonies and indoor reception spots. Catering is in-house as well. (www.historicwhitehall.com)
I can only speak for NYC area as this is where we did most of our research BUT maybe this can help you guys too- try going to a catering hall that includes food, venue, chairs, china, etc in one per person fee. That's what we did and it saved us a ton of money. Also, no headache in trying to manage multiple rental vendors, etc.
Less things to worry about = happy couple
@Madras - I haven't seen Whitehall Manor, but I'm adding it to our list of places to check out now. Thanks!!
Good luck! Our venue is non-traditional (a wine bar), and based on the photos of the place you booked it seems you are looking for something more traditional. It is all so beautiful with the grounds and hardwood floors.
However, if you change your mind, I am sure you could find a local restaurant or wine bar to cut you a similar deal. The wine bar is $3,300 for beer/wine and heavy apps (no rental fees), plus 18% gratuity and sales tax. The entire place is ours for a Saturday night, and we are starting our ceremony late in the evening so people don't expect a sit down meal (and we are also mentioning it on our invitations/website so there are no suprises). We are also skipping the cake and serving our favorite doughnuts from a local cider mill at the bargain price of $60.
However I can offer a few suggestions in the other areas of the budget that tend to get expensive.
1. Wedding dress- I got myself a J. Crew dress used on oncewed.com. I paid just $225 and it fits perfectly since I shop at that store all the time and already know my size. The helpful thing on this dress is the undergarmets are built in, so I do not have to buy additional. Plus, I just happened to have gold metallic shoes from BCBG in my closet that look perfect with the ivory silk-stain fabric.
2. Music- we are using a traditional string quartet for the ceremony. They are students in the music school at the local university. Came highly recommended and sent me a list of wedding songs they perform plus recordings from past weddings. The price was only $250 for the 4 of them. For the reception, we will be using an ipod. I would love to have live music there too, but have accepted the fact that I can't get everything. Plus, my FI is excited about making the playlist himself :)
Good gosh SaraElizabeth - I am starting down the same path you are this week having gotten engaged 8 days ago.
We're doing a NoVa wedding also hopefully in Spring 2011.
Luv the board's insights so far & peeking in with keen interest on your process SE!
Good luck to the OP & me. LOL!
Be sure to share with your caterer if memorable food is a priority or not. Even an inexpensive menu can be customized to reflect your shared history, culture and tastes. The style of service can also be adjusted to reflect your personal preferences. Please listen to your caterer's reccommendation about staff to guest ratios, to insure safe service, prevent long lines and a messy venue.
Most importantly, review the license and insurance of the caterer or restaurant carefully. The importance of the knowledge and care involved in preparing and serving food in unusual locations cannot be overlooked. You do not want you or your guests affected by improper handling of food.
Most full service caterers are able to assist with equiment, linen, and decor orders, or reccomendations. In the current economic climate, we all try to do what we can to make your day the best it can be, and respect your budgets.
Have a wonderful wedding day!
If you're still looking for tips, here are some my friend wrote on her 5k wedding, also in NoVa:
http://jozaff.blogspot.com/2009_05_01_archive.html#8609152595008703644
(She never did write a part 2...)
My boyfriend and I are mulling getting engaged and I have already planned out a 10K wedding. Here is how it will work.
My boyfriend is lebanese and across from the Maronite (Lebonese) Catholic church there is a medeterranian (Lebanese) buffet restaurant. Before you turn up your nose when you hear BUFFET, the food is VERY good and the restaurant itself used to be a high-end steakhouse so it is very ornate. There will be no linnen cost because the tables are marble and don't need to be draped and the chairs are ornate too so they don't need chair covers. So, food including non-alcoholic beverages and desserts plus tax and tips for 150 people will be about 2 grand.They have a back area that is fully enclosed and has enough room for most of my guest plus a dancing area. I plan to keep the doors open so that guests could spill over if need be.
I bought some beautiful centerpieces at Big Lots during valentines day, tall silk roses on a tall twig base tied witha a ribbon. It looks like a hand-tied bouquet. They were 9.00 each but they look like they could sell for much more. I also found these gorgeous gold teleflora vases at the dollar store that double as picture cubes. I plan to add pictures of my BF and I and make a topiary arrangement to mix up the centerpieces this is gorgeous and also senitmental - I expect people to take them home. I plan to buy $2.00 gold chargers from Hobby Lobby and cloth napkins from Ebay to futher dress things up.
The local Hispanic Bakery will do a cake for me for cheap. 3 tiers with chocolate curls on the sides and fresh roses on toe top. Simple but very pretty and tasty. I expect to pay 400 or less with delivery. I also considered Walmart or the local grocery but I wanted a little more of a splurge there.
A friend of mine is a DJ and will DJ for 300.00.I wil have a belly dancer for 250.
I don't plan to cheap out on on photography. But, I will have 1 professional and then cameras on the tables.
I bought my dress and veil on Ebay from China for 150.00 and it was DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, would be worth thousands here.
I will spend over a grand on flowers for the church. Unlike the restaurant, the church is not naturally very ornate and cheaping out there would show. But, I plan to use flowers in-season and lots of green and baby breath to avoid excessive cost.
I am using Cocodot for STD and other invites. I will get printed invites because they are often saved. At the local dollar store I found stacks of gorgeous pearlized envelopes and I got 50 for 1.00. I found invites ot match and that saved me over 100.00 right there.
I narrated an audiobook with ideas to save money for a wedding so I have helped alot of people trim costs and now its MY turn. Finally. =)
evalague - thanks for the great ideas. Sounds like you will have a wonderful time!
CCSR - thanks for the link to that blog!
Need all the inspirations I can to keep this <$15k for Apr 2011!
I have to disagree with @GirlWithARing -- I think what people care about varies based on the guests. My family, for example, doesn't care about food. We could serve hot dogs and they would be happy with it. Some guests, however, are foodies and will definitely notice! It varies for everyone.
That being said: it's our wedding, and what WE care about is the photos and flowers. I want to eat at the reception, however I don't really care what we eat. I'd rather allocate those funds elsewhere.
When I became I engaged I was so happy yet terrified at the amount of money we were going to be spending on one day. Although I work full time, I'm also a student and pay for my schooling out of my own pocket. When I started wedding planning I decided that the venue was the most important to me. I fell in love with an old historic hotel for the ceremony and reception. The cost was HUGE until I found out about the massive savings to be had for a Friday night wedding and for something out of season(February). I'm saving a TON of money by having a Friday night/February wedding and not just the venue but from the vendors too. When I first started planning my budget was looking like $20,000 give or take. My budget is now happily set at $8,000 and I'm getting everything I wanted and didn't have to cut my guest list. I had no idea how much savings there could be just by switching the day of the week and the season.
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Hey bees,
We aren't really sure how much we have to spend on our wedding at this point. Luckily, we're getting help from our parents, but they haven't told us exactly how much they're providing yet.
In the meantime, we've been playing with the numbers and I have to admit, I'm freaked out about spending over $20,000 for a few hours of one day! I know this is our wedding and we want it to be special, but that's a lot of money!
We're having a really hard time figuring out how to limit the big ticket items like venue, catering, and photography.
I'm prepared (actually really excited) to do all the save the dates, invitations, programs, and paper products DIY-style. We're also going low-budget on our attire and for the DJ. We even might be able to pull in some favors for the flowers, but...
Do any budget bees have advice on how to save on the big stuff?
Thanks!
P.S. We're in Northern Virginia if anyone has a specific vendor they'd like to recommend. Thanks y'all!