don't want wedding gifts

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

chocochipcookie:  The best way is to just not mention gifts at all. That way the ones who really want to give you a gift anyway probably will no matter what you say, others will either gift you money or nothing.

Post # 3
Member
4926 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

chocochipcookie:  Don’t mention it and don’t register anywhere. People will probably get you gifts anyway (return them for something you need) or give you cash. 

Post # 4
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

You could do the “The most important thing to me is your presance, not your presants.  FI and I are very blessed to have what we need to start our life together, therefore it is most important we see you there”

or

“In lieu of gifts we as that you bring a family recipe or two.” /”tips for the married couple”/”funny story about a memory”

Post # 5
Member
5687 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You could always put a note on your wedding website or whatever info cards you are passing along to guests that “in lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to (whatever charity is close to your hearts).”

Post # 6
Member
41816 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t use any cute poem or wording. No matter how cute you think it is, it is still rude to make any mention of gifts on an invitation.

Don’t register anywhere for anything. When people ask you, or anyone close to you, all of you can give the same answer “A gift is unnecessary. We are just happy to have you joining us in Florida for the wedding.” Those who absolutely want to give you a gift, are likely to give cash or a check.

Post # 7
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

julies1949:  I think it is only rude to ASK for gifts.

I would totally do a charity/recipe request. ( I guess depends on your circle).

Post # 8
Member
41816 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

AnnaVictoria:  I think if you do a little research you will find that it is rude to make any mention of gifts on a wedding invitation or even on an enclosure. Mentioning gifts implies that you are expecting guests to give one.

Times are changing even in the etiquette world.The authorities on etiquette have conceded that it is ok to include an enclosure mentioning the wedding website and the registry can be mentioned there.

Post # 10
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

julies1949:  It is not universal, depends on you cultural background.

Yes this world is not the same any more (FI an I are from 2 different countries live in the 3rd one an his parents are from 2 differnt countries too).

So the whole wedding tradition and yes even etiquette depends very much on your background. So yep. To every rule an exception.

And yes in some places it is totally FINE to include the gift info enclosure.

Post # 11
Member
7243 posts
Busy Beekeeper

chocochipcookie:  We just did what julies1949:  said. We didn’t register and if asked we explained that gifts were unneccessary. A few guests still gave a gift which we were grateful for.

Post # 12
Member
41816 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

 

AnnaVictoria:  But that is not the situation either where the OP lives or is getting married.

Post # 13
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

julies1949:  Like you would know her or her FIs cultural background. On message boars it is way too easy to generalise.

Post # 14
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

We didn’t register and when asked we told people that we were simply glad to spend the weekend with them. They still got us a few things, but they weren’t household items or crap that needed storage. They got us a beautiful family tree that was framed and tickets to a local activity. Those are wonderful and thoughtful gifts that we are so grateful for. And both of our families pooled together for them, so it was comforting to know that nobody spent more than they could afford.

What I am saying is good luck. No matter how hard you try, people will want to do something nice for you.

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