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Don't you hate....

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
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    1.
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    JennHasFeet    October 30, 2010   Grand Rapids, MI

    ...when people automatically assume they are being invited to your wedding??

    I wasn't planning on inviting any of my coworkers. I keep my work and my social life seperate and don't hang out with them out of the salon. I love all of them as people, but when it comes down to it, I have a very large family and friends and they come first. furthemore, i would never expect an invite to a coworkers wedding.

    So yesterday, when I was working on my client and a coworker was next to me working on her client, we were chatting and my client joked about my wedding being a halloween party. we laughed, and my coworker added "do it! i'll come with my date and dress up like you and your fiance!"

    i laughed it off because i knew she was kidding, but it got me thinking...i wonder how many others think that they will be invited at my work? it's a little presumptious and i know she meant well, but when it comes down to it, how do you handle this? I know I'll be saying "it's going to be a small wedding" when someone asks, but seriously, some people don't think before they open their mouth's.

     

    how have you dealt with this?

     
    2.
    Member
    1,997 posts
    Buzzing bee
    bloodgo1    May 14, 2010   Royal Oak

    i don't know if this is the right thing to do, but we're completely ignoring it and are just hoping that no coworkers say anything! so far it has worked out, but there are 2 more months so there is still time for that to happen lol

     
    3.
    Member
    5,166 posts
    Bee Keeper
    2PeasinaPod       Philadelphia

    I've done kind of what you said. I just told them that budget and space restrictions have really cut our guest list down and though I'd love for them to be there, it's just not possible right now. Of course, I had people hating me left and right, but what am I supposed to do? You can't assume you're invited to my wedding if you've never hung out with me outside of work, nor have you even ever met my FI!

    Stand firm...it's never easy, but it's just the way that it has to be sometimes.

     
    4.
    Member
    2,440 posts
    Buzzing bee
    MissHelen    November 20, 2010   California

    I was filling in at my Mom's bunco group when someone asked me about the wedding and I told them my reasoning for choosing November ending with "and how many weddings have you ever been to in November" obviously using the generic "you". She replied "oh, this'll be my second..."

    I didn't say anything. She won't be getting an invite, and that's pretty much the end of it.

    ETA: I don't talk about my wedding much at work because I work in a very small office with my siblings and one other guy. The one other guy I'm not inviting because I do not like him at all. So to keep him from thinking he's invited, I avoid the topic but I fully intend to use the space restrictions excuse, which is totally true by the way. We're capped at 80 and I'm not wasting a seat on that troll!

     
    5.
    Member
    4,075 posts
    Honey bee
    Amaryllis    July 2, 2011  

    Since you just laughed, I would make sure not to respond. I think this is one of those situations where it is easier to just not bring up that they aren't invited and carry on with your business. If they ask, then just tell them that given venue size/budget restraints/whatever, you had to limit your guest list to immediate family and friends.

    It is crummy. My FI's grandfather's brother (follow?) asked us when the wedding is because his girls want to save the date. His girls are actually really close in age to us despite the connection there, but we definitely weren't planning on inviting them as I have only met 2 of the 3, and that was only once in our almost 3 years of togetherness. We don't dislike them or anything, but FI doesn't see them, either. We don't have an excuse right now because so far the wedding and reception are on FI's grandparent's farm. Luckily, we just hadn't set a date yet when he asked.

     
    6.
    Member
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    Teaserama    March 18, 2010   Dunedin, Fl

    I just didn't invite anyone, and some were talking about how excited they were for us to get married. My FI worked w/ me at the same office for a few years before transferring to a different job. I get excited w/ them but all I said was I am paying for the wedding myself. Which makes it seem smaller than it actually is. A week left to my wedding, and now my co-workers just think its funny how stressed I am.

     

     

     
    7.
    Member
    1,236 posts
    Bumble bee
    Bella13    May 13, 2009   Honolulu, Hawaii

    I had an acquaintance send me a facebook message telling me that he knew my wedding was soon, but he hadn't received his invite yet so he needed to know the date and time so he could request it off of work.. SO RUDE! I never told him my wedding date or said anything about him being invited and I still have no idea how he knew my wedding was coming up.

     
    8.
    Member
    236 posts
    Helper bee
    Teaserama    March 18, 2010   Dunedin, Fl

    AHHHH BELLA 3 MORE DAYS!!! So excited for you!

     

     

     
    9.
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    JennHasFeet    October 30, 2010   Grand Rapids, MI

    @bella, what?! that would work me enough to say "sorry, i dont have any invites left!"

    @misshelen...same thing with a coworker of my FI! we have hung out with him out of work and he just proved what an ass he is when we did, so i'm adament about not having him at the wedding because he simply cannot control himself while he is drinking and makes rude comments to my FI all the time at work about getting married in general. I'd rather not have that snot at my party!

    @bloodgo1, i think that's the route i'll be taking. just avoid it all together

     

    it's difficult not to talk about the wedding at work, especially since my clients are alwaysssss asking about it. but i guess it wont be a big deal after the wedding because i'll be moving across the country, so no big loss there with my coworkers!

     

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