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Dont worry, you are in good company now lol. the "waiting" group here is soooo supportive and you couldn't find a better group of women.
Even if it takes a little longer it will be SOOOO worth it once you have that sparkly on your finger!!! Thats what get me thought the day, at least lol
Probably it will affect the timeline, life always gets in the way... grrr! it's not good for his company if that's the case! Welcome to the hive, and feel free to vent. Just keep hoping for good news!!!
Thanks ladies!
I am definitely still hoping. He's been looking for a new job for a while anyway, but there haven't been any around. I'm just hoping something will open up for him soon. Very soon.
Welcome to the Hive!! If it doesn't affect the timeline it may affect the size of the stone, unless he has his heart set on getting you a certain stone size. Remember you don't need a ring to be engaged, it's just a piece of jewelry, it's the promise that counts..
I'm totally fine with a smaller diamond, that's what I want actually. I'm not sure how to tell him though. I know he wants my input, but I want him to pick the ring himself. I've been thinking of suggesting looking at pictures together so he gets an idea of what I want and letting him pick one without telling me.
Any suggestions on how to bring up that idea? I'm afraid he won't want to talk about it at all until after he figures out the job situation, but I want to make sure he knows I still want to marry him.
i was just talking to a friend of mine tonight who has been with his gf for 7 years now. he got laid off before the summer and doesn't want to propose until he finds a job. he already has the ring, but i think he's afraid that if he doesn't have a job then they can't buy a house.
it's hard to wait so long. my boyfriend is a grad student (as am i) and i've asked him numerous times if he's waiting until after he graduates and gets a real job to ask me. he says, no, that's not the reason. it's so aggravating because i have no real reason he's waiting. at least if your boyfriend keeps his job then you might be getting an engagement! i didn't even have a timeline until august when my boyfriend finally said that he knows he wants to marry me and that he'd ask me by the end of the year (after over 5 years of dating).
I can totally understand not wanting to get married until you can get a house. My mother has actually mentioned giving us her house when we get married (It's about time for her to move in to help my grandmother, just down the street from us). The boyfriend's not crazy about the idea... but who can pass up a pretty much free house?
I was totally fine with waiting longer.... until he brought it up. Now it's driving me crazy. He wants kids by the time he's 30 (He turns 26 next month) which gives us four years. One of those will be spent engaged, and we want to be married for about two years before we have kids so we can save some money. And the other year will probably be spent pregnant.
Now that I have that idea in my head... I feel like we should be engaged already!
i hate it when life gets in the way like that. ugh, but take heart. i understand his hesitance with a potential upheaval like that looming in the future but we'll be here to help you make it through to graduation :-)
Would you be open to getting engaged with a really inexpensive ring - or even being a ringless fiance?
You could always upgrade later, when you guys are on more solid footing financially!
I have been there before. Even though I am still young, my bf and myself have been together since we were in highschool. We went to college together, he was as student athlete and I a student. We always knew that we were going to get married after college. During our junior year we found out that he was mis-adviced so that set him back a semester. During our senior year he found out that he was mis-adviced again by one class so he had to want another semester. Then he had to wait another semester because the last class that he needed was only offered during a certain semester. So now a year and a half later he is finally in a place to propose.
Waiting is never fun and I have gotten to a point that I am just tired of waiting. But we are a lot more mature now and we are more appreciative of each other now more than ever because we realize how drastically life can change. So it all worked out for the best in the end. Plus, we are more financially stable.
@dreamer: i'd probably mention that you saw some celebrity's ring that was like a billion carats or that you saw an article on drew berry and you think it's so cool that she embraced the smaller engagement ring when she could afford a lot bigger stone (i think she went with a 1/2 carat stone). which is still a great size but not supersized like most of us (myself included) love...
@mrbee: I'm not at all opposed to an inexpensive ring, but I just don't see myself as a ringless fiance. I know it sounds a bit selfish, but this is something I've dreamt of my entire life (I'm one of those girls who's had it all planned out just waiting for a groom) and I don't want to give up having something on my finger to show everyone. I think it's really sweet when other girls do that, it's just not for me. And I don't think my boyfriend would feel right proposing without a ring either.
@truegem: Glad you guys finally got it worked out! Gives me some hope. :) This is our first big setback, as far as engagement is concerned, but since we're both planners it's hard for us to grasp the concept of not knowing what the plan will be until next year. (I think we're both secretly planning in our heads, but don't want to tell each other)
@crebre80: Thanks! I'll have to read up on Drew's engagement. I really don't pay much attention to that kind of stuff, but that's a really good way to work it into the conversation. I may just happen to find a blog about that this weekend when I'm with him. :)
@dreamer: good job ;).... you could also go with a stone other than a diamond (i for instance am IN LOVE with aquamarines) have been for years so it has nothing to do really with budget, it's a personal preference that just works... and i mean princess diana and fergie wore gemstone engagement rings versus a diamond! if royalty can do it i figured i can too, lol!
i asked for a white sapphire engagement ring. it looks exactly like a diamond and is almost as hard (mohs scale it's a 9). even getting a ring handmade for me on etsy costs about 1/8 the price of what i would pay for a similar diamond ring.
Honestly, as scary as it is, I would just ASK him if it affects your timeline. Seriously. Just last week my boy was unexpectedly facing having to buy a whole new car, which he wanted to pay for in cash (he was looking at super cheap ones cause we don't know if we'll need one next year). I found out at work and absolutedly flipped out, because I was afraid it would mess up our timeline (geting engaged in February). I was in tears all day, freaking out to my mom, my best friend, and Crebre via text (love you, girl!). Asked him later that night and he looked at me like I was INSANE and said "Of course this doesn't change anything! Those are two totally seperate accounts". So just ask... he might surprise you.
@iggies: Who made yours on Etsy? I've never even heard of white sapphires! But I like that idea, especially since I'm awfully clumsy and wouldn't be surprised if I lost or somehow broke an expensive ring. But I have no doubt that a cheaper ring would stay safely on my finger, untouched by my clumsiness.
@crebre: I'll have to look into that as well. I've just always pictured a small, round, solitaire diamond on my finger. Maybe it's time to look at other options, though. :)
@KMskull: You're absolutely right. And I'm going to talk to him about it, but he has a business trip on our date night this week so I won't see him until this weekend. So I'm stuck freaking out over it until then. :)
Just wanted to chime in and send good thoughts that hopefully you're bf won't be laid off and your timeline won't be affected!
My FI was laid off right after we had gone ring shopping and we were finally discussing moving forward with the relationship (i.e. the proposal was supposed to be soon). I was crushed. But, FI found a job 3 months later and since he budgeted so well, he was able to save $ while on unemployment and a week after he got the job offer, he proposed! Now, he didn't want to propose until he knew he had a solid job, but I just wanted to share my story to let you know that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and it all worked out in the end! :)
I'm a big believer of not worrying until you have a reason to. A lot of compaines have been laying people off, but that doesn't mean it will be your BF. I agree with KMSull, if you really want to know whether or not this will change your timeline, why not just ask him? It may also give you an opportunity to let him know that you don't expect a huge ring.
It'll be okay.
@Dreamer72 - this was the one i asked for:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25259262
i have accidentally seen the ring (he left it in a drawer in his desk, what could i do?? 
) it's absolutely gorgeous and i cannot wait to get it! i'm totally in love with all the jewelry that lady makes and i'm definitely going to get my wedding band from her too (when that time comes). if you're not afraid to get palladium white gold for your engagement ring, then i'd definitely check her stuff out.
Oh I would totally peek too! Hopefully when he does get a ring, my boy knows to hide it VERY well. He'll probably keep it at the safe at his parent's house, because I know the combination for the safe at his house. :)
And thanks for the link! I'm excited to hear about other options out there. I've never seen white sapphires and figured anything I got that wasn't a "real" diamond wouldn't be as pretty... but those totally are! I'll be looking into them for sure.
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So, my boyfriend knows I want at least a year to plan our wedding and that I want to get married right after I graduate with my BBA, which will hopefully be in about a year and a half.
Because of all that I totally expected him to pop the question either around Christmas or this summer when we take a cruise to Mexico. So I was not really shocked when he asked me this weekend what my favorite diamond was, although he tried to play it off by talking about how he learned about cuts of diamonds in geology when he was in college. (He must've taken a different geology class than I did! :) )
But tonight he called me to say that he heard the company he works for is planning to lay off a lot of people from their corporate offices after the holidays. He asked his boss if that was true and she said yes, but as far as she knew it wouldn't affect their department. But I don't think they would tell her if it did. He's very much a planner and is having trouble with the idea that he can't plan everything right now, which is totally and completely understandable.
I'm trying to be as supportive as I can for him, but I also need to be selfish. So here is where I will do that. Do any of you think this will affect the timeline in which he'll propose? I know I just have to wait and see, but I'm a planner too and have been freaking out all evening. I'm tired of waiting and we have been working on this timeline for so long that now I'm terrified that it will all be ruined. I know it will be fine as long as I am with him, but I'm still disappointed.
That was way longer than I intended it to be. Sorry. :)