Post # 1
So I have been lurking around this site ever since I was engaged (which is not too long ago =P). I can not believe the first post I need to write is anything other than joyful. I’m here to ask for opinion and your thought on this situation. Please note that I am prepare to do whatever I can to resolve this as nice and calm as I can.
So I was 2+ months into my wedding planning. I’ve booked a perfect venue with our perfect date (which is very difficult may I add because of requirement from both me and my fiance are rediculous) and several other vendors. It was just last week I went to the venue personally and love the site! I live out of state and I had my dad to scout all the places for me. The day after my visit I got an email from the venue that my date is not what I thought it was….. HUH? It turns out, the venue booked me on a different date! So to know more about it I called the venue to see what’s up. It turns out, after my dad had signed the contract on my desire date, with a deposit put down, they’ve heard him said to change to a different date. I did confirmed my dad several on my desire date and he made sure everyone was correct on the date. I asked if he did said he wanted a different date he said no. He said he ASKED about the desposit can be transfer to different date if needed, as a safy net. To after some sort of misunderstanding, they just put me on this different date without a new contract or anything written. Me on the other hand, having the contract in my hands has always believe everything is set until I went on tour and told them I am that date’s bride they were shock! Now they’ve asked me to just be the bride for this different date but it’d really not work out for us. They’ve also asked to move to an earlier time or use a different place for reception…etc etc. I tried to see if any are possible with my fiance but really, we want that date, that time and that place. Especially, we have our save-the-date made and personally flew to Asia to give it to our relatives and friends. We do have lots of out of town guest and a limited few already booked their tickets.
Now, the question I always have is, why should I move the date when by contract I signed that date first? By my request they did ask the second bride to move their date but after 3 days of negotiation they refused. Now they are backed to me and said I am the one that needs to move or readjust my wedding date/time/place. I can’t even imagine the money that’d go into changing the place or the date. The cost to move all the vendors (IF they can be move). The cost to find a different site that I like that cost less than 50% increase in rental price and catering. The possiblities to find a decent price venue that fit our needs that still have this date open (which is in the peak seasons).
I am debating to ask for legal advice and such. But before all that, I want to see what other brides think. Anyone has been in the same situation before? Is the only thing I can do is suck it up and be a pushover? Any emotional support can be very helpful. Thank you.
Post # 3
Have you asked your vendors if they could move? I know this isn’t your responsibility solely to move, but I’m not sure why your dad would have asked about moving dates?
I would ask the venue if they can reduce your fees if you negociate a move- it might save a lot of $$$. You only booked 2 months ago, so it shouldn’t be too hard to negociate a move with DJ/florists/photographers. I hadn’t booked most of my vendors until 8 months out so you still have plenty of time.
Post # 4
Digression: Why did you fly the Save-The-Date Cards personally out to Asia? It’s sticking in my mind because this seems totally unnecessary.
This has happened to brides before. It doesn’t really matter here that you signed first before the other bride (beyond the fact that morally, it seems particularly unfair). They signed two contracts and can only honor one of them. They’ve chosen to tell you they are not honoring yours. Generally contract permits people to breach (break) contracts as long as they pay the damages stemming from it. Because you’ve already tried the nice route, I’d try the hard line now – go back to the vendor and say X will be my damages. Find out which of your vendors can switch dates or if there are lost deposits – that would be your damages. (Generally, you have a duty to “mitigate” and try to limit costs.)
Finally, do you really want this venue considering they’ve already messed up? Reprinting save-the-dates isn’t so bad. Venue hunting is annoying, but you’ve got time so you can look around for another on the same date so those who have already booked their tickets won’t be out that money. (I didn’t sign the contract for my venue until this week – 7 months to go!)
Disclaimer: This is not legal advice. Go talk to a lawyer in your state regarding your specific situation for legal advice.
Post # 5
We are in the process of asking our vendors regarding date change. Haven’t heard back yet. =/
Sorry I didn’t make it clear. We didn’t fly back JUST to deliver the save-the-date. We were there for a wedding therefore we rushed to finish the save-the-date so we can give it to our guest ourselves. Kind of a respect thing, like announcing our engagement. We do have close to 50 guests from there.
Kay01, thank you for your advice. It makes a lot of sense. It really doesn’t matter if they honor the first or the second contract. The fact is that they have already decided to dishonor ours. And for a venue like that, we shouldn’t fit to have the date but rather have them pay for the damages and move on.
Around the bay area all the well priced, nice outdoor venue to get book very fast. Especially in the peak season. That’s why I’m kind of stressed out trying to find venue again. Even 2 months ago, not all of my desire venue has the date anymore. But I guess we’ll see. I’ll try to talk to them regarding our damages.
Post # 6
Hello Ahhji, I would like you to take a deep breath. Try to relax and everything will work out. It just may be a little different than your original plan. As suggested above give the venue the amount that needs to be paid by them for their mistake. Remember they do not want bad press. They want to make you happy. Most importantly, don’t stress.
Consider wedding insurance if you are afraid something like this will happen again.