Double standards..

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m currently dealing with backlash about not inviting certain family members that never make it out for events unless they feel like it at the time/ never invite us to their events.  I gave in on one of the people who didn’t get an invitation because my mother was getting yelled at about it (when I’m not around), and he responded with “I was going to come anyway”. (yeah… how rude can you get?) 

As of then I learned that inviting people out of obligation is a bad idea, because they don’t really care about your event anyway.  They just want free dinner with the other people they know/are closer to.

I don’t recommend deciding not to invite them out of spite, but if they’re truly obligation invites only then they aren’t worth having there.

Post # 4
7025 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@krayzay87:  Is it possible that you live far away and they didn’t want to bother out-of-town people with invites? We didn’t invite OOT cousins to our engagement party, because we knew they wouldn’t come and didn’t want to make them feel like they should.

Or: are you close to your older brother? Perhaps he knows why only he was invited?

Or conceivably, they forgot to invite you. Be careful not to read too much into a single non-invite.

If they don’t invite you to their wedding, feel free to not invite them to yours. But it is possible they will still invite you to their wedding. So wait and see what happens with the wedding. Weddings and e-parties are not the same thing.

Post # 6
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@krayzay87:  Personally I would be leaning towards not inviting them. Presumably though your cousin’s wedding invitations will be sent out before your invitations (as you’ve said you’re not engaged yet) so that might be another way to confirm to you whether you invite them or not. Wait and see if you receive one I guess!


I’m one that doesn’t feel obligation to invite cousins I don’t see or am not close too though. Out of the nearly 20 first cousins on my mum’s side along I am inviting one.

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