(Closed) Double wedding? Just an idea! Need your thoughts.

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Would you do a double wedding with your sister/twin?
    Yes! A celebration of love and sisterhood. : (53 votes)
    36 %
    No way - totally weird and takes the spotlight away from the bride/groom! : (94 votes)
    64 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    591 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    My sister and I talked about this too it just didn’t work out since I’m engaged and she’s not yet…

    If you’re okay with it, go with it! I think it’d be awesome to attend a double wedding. Very unique. 🙂 And at least half the guest list is the same anyways. It’d also be easier on the budget to be sharing it, as well as the responsibilities/work.

    I would just make sure head of time that you and your sister are on the same page with decorations, who walks down when, bridesmaids, etc. etc. so there is no drama/issues later on. Also make 100% sure your okay with NOT being the total center of attention and sharing the spotlight. Would either of you be hurt if more guests showed up on one side? Would there be a deep-down need/want to look better with hair/make up/dresses?

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I love the idea. It sounds like it would be so much fun.

    Post # 5
    Member
    72 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Planning a wedding has been really hard – even just taking my FI and my opinions into account.  Both of our families have been pretty low key with their opinions.  I can’t imagine adding more opinions to the mix. 

    A weird aside too – it might be awkward for guests to have to give two gifts.

    My advice is to enjoy your day and then enjoy having your sister as a maid of honor.  She will still be a major part of your day. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    2233 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t. A few years ago I joked about this with my brother & his (now) ex-gf. I’ve never really cared about having a huge wedding and I thought it would be a great way for my parents to be able to invite everyone they wanted and not have to worry about it.

    Now that I’m planning my own wedding I realize how bad that idea was. All the crazy in people comes out during wedding planning. Maybe you and your sister get along great but what about your future in-laws and hers? That’s what you have to think about as well. I just wouldn’t want to deal with double the headache!

    Post # 7
    Member
    2179 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Since you two are so close, but entering the world of marriage, I think it would be a great idea to have separate weddings. Planning a wedding for myself and my FI has been hard enough– I can’t imagine adding two more people to this mix, plus their various family and friends! I also think, as another bee pointed out above, it opens you to some potentially awkward and hurtful situations as far as the spotlight, etiquette, etc go.

    Make your day about you and your fiancé, not about you and your sister! It’s a cool symbolic gesture as well. You don’t have to abandon your sisterly bond, but it isn’t the point of a wedding between you two and your respective FIs.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I’ve never been to anything like that but I think it sounds pretty neat.  Would your guest list be very similar?  Would you two agree on colours and food and all the little details?  Are the guys totally on board?  If you think it would bring you all closer, I think it could be really cool.  I would just worry that a lot of stress can come with wedding planning and I’d hate for that to hurt your relationship in any way.

    Post # 9
    Member
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    This used to be quite a bit more common when siblings, or occasionally cousins, got engaged at the same time. That was before the era when weddings became such big extravaganzas.

    I think it could be really cool and unique to do it this way if everyone is on board. It will require a lot of maturity, ability to compromise and sacrifice egos. If everyone is willing to do it, it would be a huge cost savings. Guests would have to do two gifts in fairly close succession anyway if you get engaged around the same time and have separate weddings, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that.

    Post # 10
    Member
    9609 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2018

    If you are ok with it, I think it is a good idea 🙂 (I know it’s fiction, but the end of Pride and Prejudice!)

    for me I couldn’t do it

    Post # 11
    Member
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    PPs have brought up a couple of good points- the guest list, in-laws, and wedding style. Will you agree on all of these, or will it be too much tension?

    I loved being THE BRIDE- honestly, I wouldn’t have wanted to share the attention that day with anyone else, other than my husband. I know you and your sister are close, but it is something pretty special. And weddings are about celebrating your love and relationship with your new husband, not your sister.

    Post # 12
    Member
    8315 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    If all four parties are totally 100% onboard then I don’t think it is a problem but if even one party has reservations/doubts then I think it is a bad idea. I think it is great that you and your sister are so close but weddings are not primarily about sisters but about the two people getting married (unless the two people getting married are sister but then that is another can of worms!). There are four people and three families involved in this decision and all their ideas/thoughts/beliefs need to be equally taken into consideration before a decision is made! 

    Post # 13
    Member
    864 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I don’t think you should be considering this since your sisters boyfriend hasn’t proposed yet. Lot’s of guys say they’ll propose and it doesn’t always work out on the woman’s timeline.

    Post # 14
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I think it would be a cool thing to do since you all are so close. There might just be some logistical issues you need to work out though.

    Post # 15
    Member
    388 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m an only child, so I can’t really talk about sharing things with anyone, lol.  From a guest at a double wedding’s perspective, I dont’ think I could avoid comparing the dresses and the hair and the makeup and etc.  Kinda like on the show Four Weddings.  I’d also be worried if I didn’t know one sister but was close to the other and I had to buy gifts for both.  I’d feel bad if I gave one bride more and the other less…. or would you bring one cash gift for the two brides to split?

    Post # 16
    Member
    82 posts
    Worker bee

    I think it would be very difficult to come to an agreement on colour, styles, decorations, etc. Most people have a very specific idea of what they want for their own wedding. I wouldn’t mind attending a double wedding – it would be quite unique – but I wouldn’t like to be one of the brides in a double wedding. It’s my day and I don’t want to share the limelight or compromise on what I want.

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