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I feel you pain. We were together for five years before we got engaged. I was a bridesmaid more times than I can count, and watched everyone I know meet, get engaged, get married, by a condo, and now get pregnant. But, I also watched some of these same friends go through real rough patches in their early marriages- and some of them are already divorced. The bottom line is that even though it took us longer (we had financial issues and had to date long distance due to our jobs), we have a great relationship and strong foundation. We are now planning our wedding, and are so happy, and many of our friends who rushed to the alter expressed jealousy to how solid our relationship is, and how fun our wedding will be. I look at it as it just gave us more time to be together- I mean we have the rest of our lives to be married, so cherish the time you are dating- it will happen- just have faith and happiness!
I feel your pain too - I've had manyyyy of these days. We've been together for five years and I've been on the Bee for 9 months. We've been waiting for the opportunity for him to afford the ring for three years. I've seen plenty of people get engaged before us even though we've been together for much longer. Up until a few months ago, I realized that he wants it as much as I, but $$$$$$$ is not there for it all at once (he's been making payments on a Tacori since Nov.). In the past few months I've also been in many weddings and realized how much I do not want the big dream wedding or long engagement so that I could plan for it. So, I guess thats some good i've gotten out of this awful waiting game - I've nailed down details and what I want so we can have a quick and intimate wedding. Annnnnnnnnnnd the "when are you getting engaged" questions have pretty much stopped - finally. So, thats nice. My college senior year was the WORST. Engagments and weddings were in my face all the time and it was torture... now that those have subsided... its not so bad.
Just try your best to let it go. I've said some mean things out of pain, but I understand and I try to not let it get the best of me anymore. Thats why I joined this community... for the support. Hes trying to get me my dream ring that I picked out 3 years ago... back when it was completely impossible for him to even buy a cheap ring. But its coming soon. Thats what I just look forward to. :)
Like, Littlecat, people are green w/ envy of our relationship. We're both fun intellects going somewhere in this life, which would be why we're poor ATM... lol... and we're best friends. We bicker, but life would be boring w/o a little of that. ;)
Wow, I was in your shoes until... well, until like a few days ago. I'm the one who's been dating my guy FOREVER and everyone else around me just got engaged and started talking about their weddings (before mine) and I just got so sick of it! You want to be happy for others so badly, but all you see is that you aren't happy with where you're at and you wish you could all be happy!
All I can say is, hang in there. It might take a while, but eventually you'll be the one doing all these things. (Also, even if you never tell anyone, start assembling the most kick-ass awesome ideas ever for your wedding. Seriously, my save the dates are something I've never even seen--I came up with them after seeing something on my desk that sparked my imagination. It helps to know that your wedding is genuinely special, and not just another wedding in a long line of "who's getting married first")
I completely feel your pain Fucia... Just know that while everyone else seems to be jumping into marriage, etc... you guys are trying to do it in a financially responsible manner. It totally sucks because I am SO in the same boat (venue and all) and I just want to be able to openly plan a wedding.
That's why I love the bees so much... they let you know that you aren't alone in this and there are tons of us out there who feel the same way. Perk up buttercup... it will come sooner than you realize.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement! I feel better today...I had fun with my bride and asked her lots of questions about being someone's fiancee(now that she has been engaged almost 2 months). I told BF how I felt today and he encouraged me as well with his kind words. I still was kinda bummed on the drive home, but not too much. Thanks for being here for me bees <3
I know what you're going through... last November I was laid off and I thought that for sure it was going to happen... Thankfully, by having faith, we were able to regain financial stability and are now better off than before and even saved for the ring...
The only thing I can tell you is to have patience and faith... you will see that all will fall into place.
Ahh! Tell me about it! Sorry, no real advice, just offering my sympathy!
You're not alone--TRUST ME, you're not alone! The last two years have felt like the movie 27 dresses! I told myself I would flip out if the only single girl in my group of friends would get engaged before me. Guess who got engaged and set her wedding date? Oh yeah. Not me. I'm VERY happy for her, but I also know how hard it is to NOT be the one getting engaged.
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I feel as though everywhere I turn there is someone else getting engaged or something wedding related in my face :( Soooo over it! Tomorrow I am going bridesmaid dress shopping with one of my best friends for her wedding in November. I know I will be excited to see her and have fun being with her but I just know in the back of my mind Ill be thinking "They've been together 2 less years than me and my BF.." and "Im soo bummed she booked the venue I was looking at last year.." (granted, she does not know this and Ill never tell her..dont want her to fee guilty and technically she got engaged first so she has dibs..). It really sucks b/c BF has had a rough patch with his job so money has been tight (which equals no extra for our ring fund) and Ill feel as though waiting for the next few months might be too hard to bear.
Help bees! I need words of encouragement!! <3