Post # 1
I come to you for some advice…I been struggling about making a decision as to whether fiancé and I should elope or plan a small wedding (50guests) from the very beginning of our 9 year relationship he always wanted something super small…just out parents and perhaps siblings. I perhaps before we got engaged wanted a fairy tale wedding excluding the 250 guests of course! I’m starting to fall for the idea of eloping…one been financial reason, even though my parents are paying for the reception I don’t want them to spend so much money, and the other is the simple fact that we don’t have a lot of close friends or close relatives. His parents are divorce. Also me and his mom don’t have such a great relationship. She was not happy when we got engaged. Me and her are still not talking. Of course fiancé wants her there if we do decide to elope with immediate family. Which at this point I don’t really care…nothing will ruin my day! Anyways my dilemma is if I will regret not having a mid size wedding. The planning has been a bit rough since my mother is very religious and wants our pastor to marry me and my fiancé. But we have decided to have ouR close friend perform our wedding Regardless of the Number of guests. There is just a lot of drama since my mom also wants church members to attend my wedding. I have fought with her couple of times on this…to the point where she does not want to be part of my planning. There is just too much drama all around….fiancé also keeps saying he wants to make it just about us. His dad has been really sick and won’t be able to attend wedding. What do I do bees? the planning of this wedding has brought the worst of people…im trying to feel positive but maybe eloping would the best…what made you believe eloping was the right choice for you? Any regrets?
Post # 3
@butterfly1988: If you and your FI could name the top 3-5 most important priorities (location, feeling, whatevers) for your wedding day, what would they be?
Post # 4
@butterfly1988: I am having a similar conundrum and everyone I’ve spoken to (online and in lire) who has eloped has not regretted having a more traditional wedding. Most of my married friends who did the big white wedding have told me to avoid that because of cost, stress, fights with parents ect.
I suspect you will be overjoyed and thrilled on your wedding day you could never have regrets.
Post # 5
@sienna76: Hi! It honestly took me a long time to decide what I really wanted to feel and see on my weddin date in regards to our number of guests. I think we both feel comfortable our wedding been small and intimate and romantic. We are not very traditional and would love to do it somewhere that shows who we are. I know some brides feel perhaps the need to invite relatives, in our case we are not very close with them so there wouldn’t be the need to. I see everyone sitting in a long table and talking through the night. Making jokes and possibly remenicing on our 10 year relationship since everybody who would be invited know us very well! I hope all of this makes sense…it feels great writing it down…thank you for asking the question…it really did help a lot!!
Post # 6
@butterfly1988: I went thru the same thing, not so much family drama but I just started getting stressed and everything was so expensive. I felt like we were putting on a party for our friends. We decided we just want to use the money to travel, so we are “eloping” to Hawaii then having a bbq when we get back.
I’ve felt great about my decison ever since. Maybe you could elope then have a dinner when you return? This way no one ruins your day. You’ll have a romantic ceremony and pics – just you two, if there is drama at the dinner who cares – it’s not your wedding day at that point.
What have you decided?
Post # 7
@CaymanGirl: thank you for the idea! I honestly been so stressed out. We have not realldecided anything as of now. We have talked about elopin. I am falling with the idea more and more. He really wants to do the courthouse …. And then dinner. I honestly don’t know what I want anymore. I been so out of it! But on a different I finally found my dress and purchased it! it was perfect. I love it so mUch. I never knew that when u know the dress is the right one you feel th way every bride feels. I didn’t cry but I felt so beautiful and for the first time in a while I was excited about my wedding….
Post # 8
@butterfly1988: Give yourself some time and take everyone else’s opinions out of the equation, then it’ll be easier to decide if eloping is the right choice.
I was engaged mid-July and since then have planned like 3 different weddings. Originally I wanted a DW and most family balked at this so then we tried to plan a more traditional wedding at home. I have been MISERABLE about it. I have tried to go through the motions and have kept up with planning, but in my heart I know it is not what I want. No matter how many corners we cut, we are still on schedule to pay waaaay more than I want to. We are house hunting and I can’t imagine blowing all that money on a wedding when what we really want is a home. So, after a tear fest on the phone w/ FI last week, we have decided to elope and then host a great reception at a fave restuarant for all of our family & friends. I will still wear my dress, FI will get a new suit, and we will keep our photographer so we have nice pics of us together and w/ loved ones. So we are keeping the elements that are important to us and nixing all the rest like crazy expensive flower arrangements, a formal ceremony, bridal party, limos for all of us, etc.
As a PP said, figure out the top things that you really want for your wedding and plan around that.
@CaymanGirl: Your plan sounds great!