- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I have some good news and I wanted to share with you all! 😀
Back story: After FI and I got engaged, I realized we had crazy-different ideas about how our wedding day should go. I have always wanted to elope and then have an informal celebration afterwards with our close friends and family. I grew up poor and the idea of dropping thousands of dollars on one day just kills me. I had a friend who spent $50k on her wedding. It completely shocked me when she told me how much it cost! Granted, her wedding was absolutely breathtaking, so I completely understand why people are fine with dropping big bucks on their wedding. It’s just not something that I am personally comfortable with due to growing up and living on an extremely tight budget.
Knowing my FI, who is very money-conscious and never spends frivolously, I figured he’d be totally on board with me. Surprise, surprise, he wanted the whole shebang – ceremony, cocktails, full reception, tons of people. A big, expensive wedding, in other words! This was killing me. He grew up in a family in dire financial straits, as well, which is why he’s very careful with his own money now that he’s an adult. I never thought we’d see differently on the subject of an expensive wedding.
So we’ve been at odds with each other since getting engaged because we just could not come up with a good compromise between these two ideas. We kept going back and forth, never really finding a middle ground that we were both happy with. It resulted in quite a few arguments and a lot of stress! To make it harder, I really did not want to have a reception right on the heels of the ceremony. (I actually didn’t want a reception at all!) I wanted some time in between for us to just enjoy each other and our newly wedded state. I didn’t want to have to share my husband with anyone else right away, lol! He was actually pretty understanding about this. He just wasn’t sure how our families and friends would take it, since it’s a little different from the norm.
Well, last night, we came up with an idea that makes both of us happy. Our plan is to have a very small ceremony (less than 25 people). Then we will wait and have a late-evening cocktail reception the following weekend for a larger group of guests. A few hors d’ouvres, drinks, and cake. No DJ, just an iPod for background music. Neither of us cares for dancing, but there will be a small dance floor for the people who want to groove to the iPod. We just won’t do any of the traditional dances – first dance, dad/daughter, etc. And the whole thing will be short – like 3 hours, tops. All of our guests are local with the exception of one of his cousins and two of my close friends, so I don’t foresee any major complaints about a shorter reception since almost no one has to travel out of their way to attend.
I think this works really well because he gets his large reception but we can slash costs some by not serving a full dinner, not having a DJ, etc. We would only have a pro photographer for the ceremony, not the reception, so we can save money there, too. And I get to spend a week after the ceremony just basking in the joy of being his wife instead of immediately being whisked off to a party the second we’re pronounced man and wife.
AND the best part – since this plan will be cheaper overall, we don’t have to save as much money for it, so we can move the wedding up! So I have officially moved from being an October 2013 bride to an April 2013 bride! I am so excited about this 😀 And changing our date has no effect on our venues. The reception is at a restaurant where the earliest you can book is 3 months in advance, anyway, so no hassle there. And it is already beautifully decorated, so that’s one less thing to worry about. Our ceremony is in a public park. All we have to do is rent a tent in case of rain. And I’ve talked to my photographer of choice, who has no problem moving from October to April and photographing the ceremony only. Everything seems to be falling perfectly into place 🙂
BUT I told FI I want to run this idea past the bees, since y’all always have good ideas and advice. Can you spot any gaping holes or problems with this plan? I appreciate any feedback!