drama drama…oh how i hate it

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1530 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Even if you felt obliged to invite Jane because you send an STD, you are certainly not rude to say, very sorry no children.  Were the aunt and uncle invited to being with?  You do not have to invite them.

Post # 5
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

If they aren’t bringing the child to the wedding, I don’t think you should be worrying yourself about why they’re even bringing her at all.  It’s not really relevant.

I think it was nice of you to consider offering child care to the aunt/uncle to free up their evening.  Hopefully they take advantage of that offer.  

Sorry to hear about your FMIL spitting acid in your direction for what sounds like no good reason.  That’s really annoying.  I would have hung up on her if she were yelling at me.  You teach people how to treat you.  If that happens again, don’t pick up when she calls back. 

Post # 6
2704 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

shorebride105:  They could be bringing her to see her grandparents, your FI aunt and uncle. Since they live far away a wedding is a nice excuse to see family. Agree with PP, if their kid idn’t coming to your wedding, don’t stress about it.

I think it’s a good idea to offer child care for them too, especially if you are for other family members.

As for your FMIL reaction, it sounds like it’s coming out of nowhere. Maybe she is projecting on to you? She could be getting pressured by other family members about Jane, then when you guys mentioned her again she snapped. It happens, especially around weddings. I’m sorry she took it out on you guys, but I would try to let it go.

I’m sure she will come to your shower, and most likely act as if nothing happened… if it was a projection snap. You’ll find out soon.

Post # 7
1499 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t be so sure about them not bringing the child with them. I almost take the aunt/uncle watching them thing as meaning at the reception, they will keep an eye on the kid while Jane/John party and dance on the dance floor. I would make sure to tell Jane and John, and the aunt and uncle that children are not allowed at the wedding at all and make sure it is clear. I also think FMIL owes you an apology and I would be sure to have your FI talk to his mom about her behaviour.

Post # 9
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have enough things to worry about as a couple planning a wedding. Leave the child care decisions to the parents. If they are not planning to bring the child to the wedding, It is entirely their perogative as a family to decide which adults come to the wedding and which provide childcare. To suggest they leave the child in FL, is overstepping your bounds.


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