- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
I thought I’d be one of the lucky ones and escape my wedding drama free, but FMIL made sure that didn’t happen last night. Before I start, let me mention that I’m not looking for sympathy here..just need a slightly anonymous place to vent…sorry for the novel
Kind of a lot of back story… FI cousin (call him John) has a daughter with a girl (call her Jane)- they were engaged, but she recently walked out on him and pretty much told him to get out of her life…they have a rocky past so in all honestly I wasn’t that surprised. At the time that STDs went out, we addressed it to both. We recently sent out invitations, and were told by family that Jane is “soo gone” so the invitation ended up going out just to John. I know-not proper ettiquette but I did what I was told for this specific instance.
Now, as we are beginning to get RSVPs and Jane reached out to us, saying how she’s excited for the wedding…umm ok. I thought- maybe the on again-off again thing is now ON… right? NO. They are still apart, but she’s planning on coming with him to the wedding (they are in FL, wedding in MA). They are also planning on bringing their 6 year old daughter with them, and John’s parents (my FI aunt and uncle who FI is very close with) are apparently going to watch the daughter so John/Jane can enjoy the reception. You should know that our wedding is child free- It’s been established from the beginning and I had to make a big deal with my family to be sure they arranged things ahead of time so the younger ones were not coming, so I’m a bit ticked to hear that John/Jane are flying all the way from FL and paying for a ticket for their daughter, when Jane has tons of family down in FL who can watch her. Finances are getting tight with wedding approaching, so it kind of upsets me that I have to pay for 4 meals when between aunt/uncle and john/jane, someone is apparently going to be running around taking care of the kid and missing the meal. Most importantly, I hate the idea of John’s parents missing out on the wedding when they have been so looking forward to this, and John/Jane should be taking care of their own child. John also has a past with alcohol issues, so I don’t know why anyone would advocate for him to hang out with all of the younger folks. Give booze to an alcoholic, then combine that with a rocky relationship in front of everyone we know…seems like a recipe for disaster.
Where does FMIL come in? We called her last night to try to get an inside scoop on what the deal was (yes, we do have time, but FI and I are kinda super planners..and based on how things went, I’m glad we have time to figure things out) and she started screaming at us. Like so loud and she was so worked up that we didn’t even know what she was saying.. She doesn’t even like Jane but just flipped out giving no real reason, and said that Jane was coming and that was that. She said it’s not up to us and then proceeded to call myself and FI bullies for telling her “what to do”… when all we were looking for was info. YOu should also know that FMIL isn’t contributing in any way to this wedding… I would never ever hold that against her to her face, but she’s been kinda pushy about who “must” be invited on her side… most people FI and I have never met. FI did mention to his mom he didn’t want Jane to come, but didn’t even say she COULDN’T come. And the family told us that she was gone… Then FMIL hung up, called us back, yelled more nonesense, hung up… repeat. It’s like she totally cracked…
Bottom line… Honestly, I don’t really care if Jane comes… do I like her? No.. but you can’t always get what you want. I think it would truly be a shame for aunt/uncle to miss out on things but I know people are crazy sometimes and do what they do and no one knows why. I just hate how FMIL acted the way that she did. Nothing FI and I said merited her reaction. FI and I discussed it and are arranging for babysitters for my family, and are going to reach out to aunt directly to see if we can offer childcare options (without adding in any drama that occurred-We are leaving FMIL out of it), just to let them know we want everyone to be there if they can. It will ultimately be up to them if they use a sitter, but I want to at least know that I did what I could to help.
Sorry again for the long post…